A Very Burzek Family
by Drive all night
Summary: A collection of short stories & one shots about the Burzek Family. Follows Burzek's kids...Polly and Angus. Obviously Adam and Kim feature & it does exist in the world that was established from 'Ties that Bind through to 'This is your Sword.' Totally AU, but AU is the only nice #Burzek that we will probably ever get now.
1. ANGUS - Breaking The Seal

**Sorry let me try that again. **

**The gist of this is that I have some random short stories and chapters/one-shots all set in this world of #Burzek family. Starting way back with the 'Ties that Bind' (the good one, not that disappointing episode of the same name), we moved through 'Darkness on the Edge of Town, Something in the Night and finally with 'This is your sword'. This first part is based on Gus Ruzek and moving on from Jasmine with a zee. **

**Considering I doubt we will ever get any nice #Burzek on the show again, not while Eid is in charge anyway, we don't even have a likeable #Ruzek anymore I thought I would post these random stories reminding me of a time when we had a nice couple with awesome chemistry on the show, before they and us all got dudded. So here is some nice family stuff, Adam and Kim and their children's lives. Polly and Angus (Yes Polly is still alive in Gus's story.)**

**Hope you enjoy, let me know if you want to read more.**

**ANGUS.**

Gus changed out quickly and was out the door before anyone could catch him. He was already running late and it was probably going to take forever to get across town and having already re-arranged this appointment once he didn't want to do it again. Time was of the essence.

He had liked this place when he saw it on the Internet and wanted to see it in person. It was time to make the jump. He had saved hard, travelled a bit and focussed on his career and now he wanted to buy a place, it would be his second and he wanted to start paying that off. He had plans.

Knocking on the open door he was a little breathless having run a block from where he parked to get here. "Hi, sorry I'm late." He wiped his sweaty palm on his work pants and offered it to the realtor and it was only then he stopped to take notice. "Hi, I'm Angus…" he stuttered a little. "Sorry Gus Ruzek."

"Hi Gus, it's nice to meet you." Rhiannon Marshall introduced herself. She was a little shorter than him, but not by much although she was wearing heels and a neat navy blue dress. Her long blond hair was tied back in a ponytail and she had startling green eyes. "Come in and have a look around. Take your time."

Rhiannon showed him around the neat two bedroom place. "We do also have a one bedroom with a slightly larger living area upstairs." She opened the door to the second bedroom, which wasn't that big.

"Nah, I like two bedrooms."

"More family friendly?"

"Sure, or I just have a disproportionate amount of crap." Not that he planned on living here. He liked his apartment but he wanted another investment property to go with the house he already owned thanks to his Pops. This was his focus at the moment, building his property portfolio.

This place needed work though, perhaps too much work. The flooring was obscene and he didn't want to know what was on some of the carpets. The bathroom was old, not old fashioned but it just look tired and the second bedroom would barely fit a bed in it, but the view was sweet and the living space was large and light. How they called it a two bedroom place baffled him, it was more like one bedroom and a broom cupboard. It had potential though but Gus wasn't sure he wanted to put that much effort into it, not unless the price came down.

"What are your first impressions?"

He swallowed the smooth line he had on his tongue. His first impressions of her were 'wow' but he was pretty sure that's not what she meant. "It's a bit of a crap shack." He stood in the kitchen and it was the one aspect he did like. "This area is kinda cool but the rest…" he screwed up his nose.

"It is not unliveable but it could do with a make-over."

"Understatement of the year."

"I am getting a vibe off you." She turned her head quickly and the pony tail swung over her shoulder and she nudged it back with a flick of her wrist.

"Really?" Gus was intrigued. He hoped she was flirting with him but he doubted she was. "And what vibe it that?"

"This isn't your place."

"Don't be so hasty. It has its good points. It's not for me to live in anyway." He did agree to look at the one-bedroom place upstairs, not that he had any intention of buying it but if it meant spending a few more minutes in her company then, well his interest in real estate had piqued.

It may have been a year since he dated anyone seriously but he wasn't a monk either. He'd been on dates but just hadn't jumped in feet first like he usually did. No-one had rocked his world in quite a while and he'd been perfectly okay with that, how much longer he would be content to live that kind of life though he wasn't sure.

"How long you been doing this?" Gus followed her to the elevator.

"About five years."

"I always imagined that Real Estate is a kind of hit and miss job."

"Sometimes but I love it. I love all the people I meet, everyone is different and likes and dislikes different things. You get a feel for people pretty quick and can generally tell within five minutes whether they are going to buy a place."

"Really? So, what do you think I am going to do?"

"You are not buying that place, or this one." She opened the door to the one-bedroom place and stood back and let Gus into the large living area and kitchen. The bedroom was tiny though but the whole place was newly renovated so it was clean and bright but not what he was after. He needed something to do, something to occupy his free time.

"Nailed it."

"I know." That smile was definitely flirty.

Gus thought about calling her and he was trying to find a reason that didn't sound lame, not that it had really bothered him in the past. He knew he couldn't ask to look at those two properties again because she had read him right; he wasn't buying, they weren't what he was looking for. He didn't have to worry though; she called him.

He was midway through a run. "Ruzek." he panted into his phone.

"Oh sorry did I get you at a bad time?" He didn't recognise the number or the voice. "I can call you back."

"No." He slowed to walk and his breathing slowly started to return to normal. "It's fine. Who is this?"

"Rhiannon Marshall, from Whitmore Reality."

"Oh, hi." That got his attention and he took a deep breath. "How are you?"

"I'm good. Better than you by the sound of it."

"I'm just out for a run."

"Good thinking time. Look I thought I would give you a call. We have another property just about to come on the market that you might like. It's not listed yet but will be soon. I thought you'd like to take a look perhaps."

"Sure, sounds good." Even if it was a crap shack he'd probably still say yes. He did like that she sounded a little nervous, or at least he liked to think so but it certainly wasn't helping his heart rate return to normal.

"Does Saturday morning suit you?"

"Ah, nope sorry I am working. I can do anytime Friday though." Gus wasn't letting this one slip through his fingers. Something had stirred in him when he'd met her, something that he'd pushed aside for long enough. It was time for him to jump back into the pond, Polly had told him as much. He couldn't keep punishing himself for what happened. She understood while he was healing that he stayed close to home but he was back on his feet, they'd all moved on and she wanted her brother to be happy and he wasn't happy.

They arranged to meet in the afternoon and to say he was looking forward to it was an understatement.

Rhiannon was nervous. He was a good-looking guy and he seemed kind of sweet and nice. Not only did she want to help him buy a place, but she actively looked for a few places to show him just to give her an excuse to call him again. He could go anywhere, to any real estate agent and find another place and her chance to get to know him would be gone.

The place she showed him was a little more up his alley and he was interested. While last time he had come straight from work and had just thrown a clean t-shirt on and still had half his uniform on. Today he was in jeans and a button down shirt and Rhiannon was a little flustered. He was rattling her a little too much.

"Can I buy you a coffee?" Gus was reluctant to go just yet. "You've gone out of your way to find this place for me, it's the least I can do."

"Sure." He swore he saw a little glint in her eye. "but I was just doing my job."

"So if I give you a few safety tips would that classify as doing my job. Community policing and all?"

"Ah, you are a cop?"

"Chicago PD." He bowed slightly. "…always ready to serve and protect."

Gus bought Rhiannon a coffee and he enjoyed the hour the spent together as they chatted easily. He asked about her job, why she got into real estate and what she did for fun and he was interested in what she had to say. He liked that she enjoyed finding places for people who could see the potential and needed work because that gave him an opportunity to see her again. "So…" she leant back in her seat. "…my turn for twenty questions."

It was a habit of his that he would ask a million questions in the hope that he didn't have to talk about himself too much. He wasn't embarrassed and ashamed but he always felt that girls liked to talk about themselves more than anything and that made them feel good. It had always worked well for him in the past.

She asked about his interest in property and Gus was happy to talk about his plans to put his money into real estate. They'd got a leg up courtesy of their Pops and their parents made sure they made the most of it.

"So why a cop?" He wasn't expecting her suddenly change of tack.

"My parents are cops, my Pops was also a cop and my Dad followed in his footsteps. He met my Mom on the job so I guess I just always grew up around it and I was always keen to follow in their footsteps." It was more than he ever gave away this early. "Never wanted to be anything else."

"They must be happy."

"I think Mom is freaked out, Dad's job is pretty full on and dangerous. He runs a pretty intense unit so she worries about him constantly. He's been pretty banged up quite a few times and it's been hairy."

"I don't blame her, I am sure she'd loved you doing something safer."

"I have an older sister and she works for a charity foundation which we thought was much safer and then she was caught up in an active shooter situation at the zoo a few years back, that was pretty shitty."

"I remember that. Was she okay?"

"Yeah, yeah she was."

"I went a few weeks ago. My cousin had her birthday party there." It had been a long time since she'd been to the zoo and they'd had a good day and it was place you always promised to visit and never did and when you finally went you wondered you didn't come more often. "I loved the meerkats."

"We go there a lot." Gus paused for just a few seconds and she did like the little look of disappointment on her face, did she think he was talking about his own family, a girlfriend, wife or child? "My brother-in-law works there and that's where they got married and…" He leant forward. "..everyone loves the meerkats."

"Oh."

"I have a niece. She's is two and a half and so awesome." Gus was testing her out. Jazmine, or 'she who can't be named' as Polly called her had screwed up her face the first time Gus said anything about Lola.

"How cute? I bet you spoil her rotten."

"It's an uncle's prerogative." He relaxed a little, as well as testing her he also was keen to put her mind at ease. "Lola loves her Uncle Bus."

They were both a little disappointed when her phone buzzed. "I need to get going. I have another showing in half an hour."

"Hopefully not my place?"

"Your place?"

"You never know." He shrugged and liked that she laughed.

"Oh, I do."

Rhiannon reached for a business card and Gus shook his head. "I have your number. I saved it." He promised to call and Rhiannon had barely got back to her car when her phone beeped. _'So you'll buy the next coffee?'_

_'Absolutely.'_

Gus liked that she didn't sit around and wait for him to call. She went for it and called him the next day. He smiled when he saw her number on his phone; as soon as she called the first time he programed her number in. "Rhiannon Marshall from Whitmore Reality you've made my day. How can I help you?"

"I found you another place to look at?"

"Are you doing any work for anyone else?" They had just sat down for lunch. His buddy had gone to grab the food while he got the coffees and he was scanning the crowd as he talked, making sure everyone was doing what they should.

"Yes, of course. Multi-tasking is one of my many talents."

She was so flirting with him and he liked it, a lot. "So, tell me about this amazing new place?"

"Oh, it's a total crap shack. You'll hate it but there is a nice café next door."

"Hmmm, I'm working all weekend." She had him champing at the bit already but Gus was going to let her do the heavy lifting.

"How about dinner during the week sometime?"

"Shifting onto afternoon and nights from Monday, so…"

"Dinner tonight?" Rhiannon sounded shocked that it even came out of her mouth.

"Perfect. Seeing as you suggested it how about you text me the place and I'll meet you there." She agreed to pick a restaurant and let him know. "And, can I ask? You usually invite potential buyers out for dinner?"

"Yep, all the time."

"Good to know."

He was even more blown away when he walked into the restaurant she had chosen. Her hair was loose tied up in a messy bun and her dress was loose and floaty, not overly long and the sky high stilettos made her legs go on forever. While her make up was a little heavier than what she wore during the day it wasn't overdone but even in the darker environment of the restaurant her green eyes made his knees weak. He was a sucker for pretty eyes.

"Hi." He grabbed her elbow lightly and leant in and gave her a little kiss on the cheek as she sat waiting for him at the bar. "It's nice to see you again. You look nice."

Rhiannon's stomach flipped. He was such a charmer and the kiss was unexpected but not unwelcome. "Thank you. Busy day?" he pulled up the stool at the bar and she took the chance to check him out. He was tall, with messy dark blond hair and just a little stubble and obviously kept himself fit, she had checked out his legs and butt several times already.

"Action packed. We had foot patrol at a street festival."

"Sounds exciting."

"No, it's not." He sat back a little when the wine arrived. "What about you? Wine and dine any other potential clients?"

"Yes, all day actually." She leant over and turned his arm so she could look at his watch. "Oh Damn. We should eat soon, I've got another appointment at nine."

It was almost eleven and the vast majority of the diners had gone home when they finally called it a night. Gus offered to wait for her Taxi to arrive and when it hadn't turned up half hour later he drove her home. He hadn't drunk much because he was working in the morning. He jumped out and opened the door for her. "Thank you for a dinner. I had a nice time." Gus held onto her hand and pulled her close. "Can I call you?"

"I'd like that."

He stepped away and saw the slightly disappointed look on her face. "You thought I was going to kiss you didn't you?"

"No." Gus tilted his head and Rhiannon blushed. "Maybe."

"If I kiss you now you might not answer my call tomorrow."

"Oh I will." He did kiss her, but it was on the cheek and waited until she was safely inside before he took off. Man, he was smitten.

He didn't get the chance to call her the next day, by the time he got off work and had dinner with the family it was late. Lola had kept him occupied, she was a live-wire and had a lot to say and Gus was her victim. She was particularly boisterous all night.

_'I hope you didn't think I blew you off today. Lame excuse time, work was manic and then I had a family thing and Lola was in an Uncle Bus loving mood. What time do you go to work tomorrow? I can call you in the morning?'_

_'Who are you?'_

_'A very pesky demanding client.'_

_'Oh him, I leave just before eight, but if you want to buy a house you can call me anytime.'_

He did contemplate calling her now but he was shattered. It had been a long day and he'd basically spent two days on his feet and had another four days to go and just wanted to hit the sack.

Gus didn't call, he showed up outside her place with a coffee just before eight the next morning. "I took a punt." He held out the travel mug. He was leaning against a lamppost and a smile lit up his face when she came out. "Don't throw out the cup, I'll be back for it."

"Thank you." Rhiannon was surprised to see him. It was sweet but she was a little blindsided by the fact he was waiting outside her apartment. "I've got an appointment in half an hour." She rushed out and Gus was concerned he had freaked her out.

"No problem, just wanted to bring you coffee and apologise for not calling you." He got the feeling that he wouldn't have to work too hard but he wanted to take his time and something told him she'd appreciate the effort but he'd obviously gone a little too far too early.

"You can not call me anytime if you turn up with my morning coffee the next day."

"It didn't freak you out?"

"A little. I don't want a stalker."

"What do you want?"

"Another date."

"I thought Saturday night was a client meeting, if I knew it was a date I would have been more charming." She just laughed, kissed his cheek and thanked him again for the coffee as she walked away. "What about that date?" he called after her.

"You should call me." Rhiannon threw back over her shoulder as she stopped at her car. "Have a good day Angus Ruzek."


	2. Monty Python

It wasn't until Saturday that Gus saw her again although they did talk during the week and they had discussed the apartment hunting a few times, she had sent him several potential places for him to look at and he had checked another one out with one of her colleagues. "Are you blowing me off?"

"No, but Jack will tell me if you are nice to him or not. He's got my back?"

"So, this is a test?"

"Call it what you like. Jack has this listing, I wouldn't be a responsible agent if I ignored a property because I didn't want to share a client." The way she flipped between personal and professional amused him. She was just as good as playing cat and mouse as he was and that made her all the more interesting. He had no idea if she was doing it on purpose and he didn't care. Angus Ruzek wasn't used to being challenged like this and he was loving it.

Angus Ruzek was a smooth operator. He wasn't an asshole but he was confident, he knew what he liked and he went after it. Rarely did he struggle to get a date if he needed one and he was always honest with the girls he went out with. He wasn't looking for anything serious, he'd treat them with respect but he never let them get too close. Olivia had been different and he had let her in and they had a good time but she wanted more than he had to give. They were young, he was way too young and immature to settle down. He couldn't see her in his future and once she started pressuring him into planning out their whole life, he called it off. He missed her, he did love her but he wasn't in love with her as much as she wanted him to be.

"You are all business, aren't you?" She just chuckled and told him he'd have to wait until Saturday to find out.

Rhiannon had to work for most of the day so Gus organised to meet her after she got off and they were a little early so walked along the River before dinner. Gus held her hand and she made him laugh as she talked about some of the places she'd had to sell and some of the strangest buyers she'd had to deal with. He dealt with crazy every day, he never thought about other people who dealt with them once they had fallen off his radar. Like the ones who wanted the seller to install steel reinforcement in the ceilings in the top floor for their 'swings'.

Just before they were headed for dinner Gus tugged on her hand and made her stop, with his free hand he touched her face and then kissed her. Soft and sweet and then stepped back and led her to the restaurant.

"That's not fair." Rhiannon leant on his shoulder as they waited for their table.

"Why not?"

"Now I have to wait to kiss you again."

"Yes, yes you do." Gus Ruzek was reeling her in so fast her head was spinning.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" Dinner had been fun, they'd laughed a lot and he was happy to share stories about his growing up with two cops as parents and neither of them were keen for the night to end just yet so they wandered along the boardwalk and found a small whiskey bar to hole up in for a while longer. "You can tell me to sod off."

"Ask away, but I will reserve my right to remain silent."

"Fair enough." Rhiannon nodded and took a sip of her whiskey. Gus chuckled as she screwed up her nose as the warm liquid burnt her throat. She had told him she wasn't a whiskey drinker but was willing to give it a go and he liked that. "Who broke your heart?"

"What makes you think my heart was broken?"

"I told you, I know people, I get a vibe."

"My heart wasn't broken by a woman, but I did let a few people down so I decided I needed to take a step back and sort my shit out."

"Is that why you are holding back?"

"Probably." Gus ran his hand over his face. He liked this woman; a lot and he was fighting hard to not just do his usual 'hit it and quit it' routine with her. There was something about her that had piqued his interest more than any woman had done before. He could always charm them into his bed pretty quickly, yet Rhiannon was holding him at bay. "I was seeing someone, about a year ago and my family hated her but I dug my heels in. It was supposed to just be a bit of fun. Anyway, she was a nightmare, into drugs, terrible temper all that and she ended up hurting Lola one day when I was supposed to be looking after her. I kicked her out that day but she didn't take it well and to cut a long story short I ended up being assaulted and my sister found me bleeding out on the floor or my apartment one day."

"Holy fuck."

"I was a dick and I paid the price and Lola got hurt and I never forgave myself for that. I let her down and my sister and brother-in-law and even my parents." Gus didn't meet her eye. He was still embarrassed by his shitty behaviour.

"Was your niece okay?"

"She was, it was pretty minor in the grand scheme of things, she pushed her over and she banged her face on the table and got a black eye but that wasn't the point. I'd let that happen."

"I wasn't expecting all that."

"No?" Everyone had put it behind them except Gus, he struggled to let it go. "It was a pretty shitty time."

"Sorry I upset you."

"Nah you didn't." He stared at the bottom on his glass, swirling the last of the whiskey around the bottom before swallowing it. "I just didn't want you to see how much of a dick I was too soon. Didn't want to scare you off."

"I don't think that at all. It takes more than that to spook me." She ran a hand over his thigh lightly and he liked it. Just as quick it was over and she removed her hand and ordered them another drink. "I can see how much you love your family. I think Lola has you wrapped around her little finger."

"Oh, she does."

"Were you badly hurt?"

Gus shrugged, trying to make it sound like it was a big deal. It was a big deal at the time and took him a good few months for fully recover. "Broken cheek and jaw, smashed hand, collapsed lung, four broken ribs and a ruptured bladder."

"Oh, so just a flesh wound."

Gus threw his head back and roared with laughter. "Did you just Monty Python me?"

"I did."

Gus literally fell off his stool as he tried to get closer to her. "You are making yourself irresistible."

"Am I?"

"I think you know it." Gus baulked first; he did want this but he sat back on his stool anyway. It was right there in front of him, right for the taking. "So, I think we need to organise a Monty Python movie night."

"Now who's making themselves irresistible?"

She got her next kiss, as Gus said goodnight. They'd jumped in an Uber together and Gus was making sure she got home by dropping her off first. He asked the guy to wait while he walked her to the door. "You are not coming up, are you? Even if I ask?"

"No. Not tonight, but…" Taking a step closer his kiss was perfect. Just intense enough to leave her a little breathless but not enough to push him so far over the edge he would wave the Uber away and take up the offer of coming up. "Good night and remember, always look on the bright side of life."

Man, he was spinning and he felt fantastic.


	3. The Other Woman

Gus took one last look at his place before he answered the door. He wasn't a complete slob but it wasn't like he lived in a catalogue commercial either but he didn't want her to think he didn't have a clue. He was a guy living alone as well and kept pretty busy so he had to spend the afternoon tidying up a little. "Well, you made it."

Rhiannon held up the bottle of wine in her hand. "Wine, an offer of dinner and a Monty Python marathon, how could a girl resist."

"Come in." He stood aside and let her in, taking the bottle of wine. Rhiannon stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips against his, she'd been waiting all week and wasn't waiting a second longer. "Wow, that's nice."

"Something smells good." She had been surprised when he invited her over to his place and offered to cook dinner. She looked around, it wasn't huge but it was neat and tidy and had some decent looking furniture. Gus may not have chosen everything and his mother and sister insisted that he did not live like a teenage hobo but he did like it. "I love your place."

"Thanks. I've been here about five years, it suits me fine. It's close to work, close enough to family and friends and the whole building is pretty quiet."

It had been building for weeks. Neither of them wanted to seem like they were rushing into things or desperate for things to take a giant leap forward but it was getting harder to fight. Gus's shifts had certainly made things more challenging as did Rhiannon's social life, she had a hen's weekend away and followed by a wedding and her work was also busy. They had talked a lot and even caught up for lunch and breakfast a few times but everything else wasn't falling into place.

It wasn't how Gus usually did things, he was more act now and get to know them later type of guy and as frustrating as it was, he had enjoyed it but now he'd waited long enough.

Gus liked that she curled her feet up under her and cuddled into his side as they watched the movie. He loved that she laughed without holding back at the absurdity of Monty Python. It was something his Dad had introduced him to years ago and it still made them laugh. His mother hated it and would only let them watch it if she wasn't around.

"Hey, can I ask you a question?" He turned off the TV. "A personal one?"

"Sure."

"How did I get lucky enough to meet you when you had nothing else going on?"

"Why am I single?"

"Well yes." He had assumed she was single when they first started dating but he'd never asked. She didn't seem like the type that would be flirting with him and agreeing to see him and call him if she had someone else but he was going on gut feel only. It wasn't a surprise to anyone when he'd been caught before seeing someone who turned out to be married. He'd got out of it without a scratch but it had put the wind up him for a while.

"I wasn't all that single a few months ago. I'd been with someone for a couple of years and I was waiting for him to grow up and I got sick of waiting."

"Grow up in what way?" He didn't want to be a rebound, or something to fill in time until her ex grew up.

"You know, get a job, move out of home, stop spending every waking hour he could playing video games."

"I've got a job, I don't live at home and but I do play video games sometimes."

"Good to know." She hugged her knees to her chest and rested her head on the back of the couch. "I think the last year it was just hanging by a thread and easier to stay than make the break. You kind of get into a rut." Well that was one reason, the other being she never wanted to be left alone. If someone was going to leave it had to be her.

Gus offered her a night-cap. He had a sweet bourbon he would be happy to share with her. "I am driving."

"Don't." Gus grabbed two glasses and the bottle of bourbon and bought them back to the couch and when he went to open the bottle Rhiannon reached for him and put her hand on his to stop him.

She really hoped he was asking her not to leave and didn't want to sound desperate, but she was. He'd got her all churned up for weeks now. His texts were flirty and suggestive; he teased her when he called and her heart skipped a beat every time his number came up on her phone. "I could catch an Uber back in the morning I guess and pick up my car."

"Or not." She was so close he could feel the heat coming off her and smell her perfume as he captured her lips with his. "Stay here."

Suddenly the shackles were off and Gus literally pushed her back onto the couch with his body and Rhiannon welcomed him and his kisses. He kept it all above board until she started fumbling with the buttons of his shirt and worked it off. Her top soon followed and suddenly Gus jumped up and hauled her off the couch, picking her up in one swift movement so she could wrap her legs around his waist this was all headed in one direction. It took very little effort on his part to carry her to his bedroom. "You want to stop? We can stop?" he just needed to check in.

"Don't you dare." Rhiannon grabbed the waist of his jeans and pulled him down on top of her and within minutes she'd got them unbuttoned and he moaned and pushed his body into hers when she got hold of him. Gus got her bra off quickly and focussed his attention there while Rhiannon worked away at him with her hand.

"Stop." He growled in her ear "Just a minute." He rolled off to the side and helped her wiggle out of her pants and kicked off his jeans before lifting her up and moving her up the bed. He knelt over her. "You okay?"

"Yes." Gus reached across her for his bedside table and pulled some condoms from the drawer while she explored his chest with her hands and her mouth. Ripping the packet open he got it on quickly and used one hand to just feel his way before he asked her one more time whether she wanted to stop and when she lifted her head and sucked on his bottom lip and he dived straight in. She arched her back, taking him all.

"Fuck, god you feel fucking amazing." Rhiannon hooked one leg up over his hip, her yoga honed thigh moulding perfectly to his waist. They found a good rhythm, they matched pace perfectly and neither of them wanted it to end. "I wanted to screw you the day I met you." Gus whispered in her ear as their breathing started to return to normal as he stayed connected to her.

"I know. I got that vibe." She just wanted to keep touching him. Stroking the muscles of his back, absorbing him and making sure he didn't move too far away. She was in heaven. It was everything she'd dreamed he'd be. And she had dreamt about him a lot.

Gus felt the same, he didn't want to lose contact either and as soon as he climbed back in to bed, he propped himself up on one elbow and started tracing her collarbone with his fingers. "Gotta say, I think we've got a thing going here." Gus smiled at her blushing. "In my humble opinion."

"Not too shabby for a first time."

"Hmmm…." His hand slid under the sheet and headed south. "I promise the second time will be much better." And it was, so was the third.

"Good morning." Gus was in the kitchen when Rhiannon finally woke. She had felt him get up, he had kissed her shoulder lightly as he snuck out of bed. He was starving and desperate for a coffee. "Sleep well? I didn't wake you did I?"

"I felt you get up. Your bed is comfortable."

"Coffee?" He held up a cup. Rhiannon was a little nervous; she didn't quite know what to do with herself. Gus noticed that she was standing on the other side of the bench and he leant across and beckoned her close enough so he could give her a kiss. "Don't you wake up pretty, you pretty up my place?"

"Do you mind if I have a quick shower?"

"Only if I can come too." Gus winked at her. He wasn't quite sure why she looked so different today, or perhaps he was just looking at her differently but he was blown away. He thought she was just a stunningly beautiful woman and he had loved exploring her body last night. It was hard to believe that she was here and wanted to be here with him.

"Unproductive."

"I actually think it would be very productive, also environmentally friendly." He left the coffee where it was. It could wait.

They ended back in bed and spent another hour learning how to make each other happy. "We should try this getting up again?" Gus rolled over, pushing her down into the mattress. "I'm starving and I need to eat. You've used up all my energy."

"I'm not hungry. I feel well fed." Gus laughed, kissed her quickly and left her lying in bed watching his retreating frame. He was just impressive and he had some moves that were very surprising. He was obviously very experienced, not that she had been a slouch but she got the feeling that a lot of woman had passed through here. How did that make her feel? She wasn't sure, but she didn't hate it. It wasn't worth contemplating, she needed to enjoy the moment and hope for a lot more of them.

He was ferreting around in the fridge when she eventually came out. "You okay?"

"I am. Little big hungry too." She dragged her fingers across his lower back as she helped herself to a glass of water and perched herself up on the stool at the bench to watch him cook. It was a sweet way to spend the morning.

"Listen to this." Gus's phone rang and he smiled as he put it on the bench and hit speaker and started making them a coffee. Rhiannon had pulled on a shirt that Gus had got out for her. He liked seeing her in his clothes; she looked comfortable. It also meant she wasn't about to rush out the door at a million miles an hour. "It's the other woman."

It was the cutest little voice Rhiannon had ever heard. She realised it was his niece when he called her Lola Bear, he talked about her a lot and there were a few photos stuck to his fridge of the pair of them together but she was a small baby then and he hadn't got around to updating them. He obviously adored her. "Miss you Bus."

"I miss you too sweetie. Have you been good?"

"Yes."

"What you doing Bus?"

"I'm cooking breakfast." He leant his elbows on the bench and winked at Rhiannon.

"Bacon?"

"Yes Bacon."

"I love bacon."

"I know you do. Have you had breakfast?"

"Yes. Daddy make no bacon." She sounded so sad and Gus laughed.

"That's sad."

"I very sad." Gus just smiled and waited while she talked to her Dad. "Bus, you come for dinner?"

"Yes. I will see you tonight."

"Love you Bus, bye."

"That was adorable." Rhiannon thought it was beautiful. Not only the cute conversation but how happy Gus looked talking to his niece, she could see the bond between them even though she'd never seen them together. She did ask him to see a more recent photo and he showed her a recent selfie of the two of them together. He had a lot of photos on his phone of Lola. "Okay, I'll share you with her."

"I'm not sure she'll share though. She hasn't learnt that yet, being three and all." He had been surprised at how much Lola had changed his life. He did just think she'd be this kid that he played with when he visited and then went home. It had been so far from the truth it wasn't funny and he was besotted with her and loved spending time with her whenever he got the chance. On his days off he would look after her, take her to the park, indoor playgrounds or just hang around home.

"Are they planning on more children?" Rhiannon asked before thinking and then apologised. "Sorry that's really rude to ask."

"I hope so. I keep nagging them to get onto it. I want a nephew. I've got so much shit to teach them."

Breakfast was casual and relaxed, they talked, laughed and teased each other and then decided to spend the day together. Neither of them was quite ready for that moment that you were suddenly alone and wondering what happened next and if it really went as well as you thought it did, they wanted to keep this ball rolling for as long as possible. That would come soon enough, Gus was obviously going to have dinner with his family and it was way too early to take Rhiannon although briefly he did contemplate it.

He called her as soon as he left his parents' house though. "Just letting you know my little girlfriend was very affectionate tonight."

"So, she's laying down a challenge. Good to know." It had been hard to focus on the work she had let pile up by spending the day with Gus. They'd gone out for a late lazy flirty lunch before heading back to his place for a couple of hours of more than flirting. He'd reluctantly pushed her out the door as he was heading out for dinner. "How's the family?"

"Crazy." He kicked off his shoes and poured himself a drink. He hadn't drunk much because he had to drive. "Get any work done?"

"A little." They chatted easily for a while and agreed to catch up again for lunch tomorrow because Gus had the day off and it all happened quickly after that. They loved spending time together and before long they both realised it was heading towards being something pretty serious. They were both keen to see where it was going.

"Hey Mom." Gus called his Mom one Sunday afternoon. It had been a good two months of solid dating before he felt it was time to throw Rhiannon to the wolves. He had met her father and stepmom and that seemed to go well so it was logical that he took her to meet him family. He did contemplate just taking her over to meet his parents first but it was Rhiannon who decided she was ready for the whole shebang.

"Gus Sweetheart. Please don't tell me you can't make dinner. We've missed you the past few weeks." He had been rostered on for work and hadn't made dinner for weeks and he had also been caught up in his new romance. "Lola is so excited. She's made you a card apparently."

"Can't wait. No, I am coming. Is it okay if I bring someone?"

"Oh, sure." He chuckled at the trepidation in his mother's voice. It had been a while since he'd bought anyone to dinner and he hadn't mentioned he was seeing anyone either. "I didn't know you were seeing someone."

"I know. I've kept it pretty quiet. It's been a little while and I think you'll really like her." Gus gave her the basic details, he didn't want to give away too much. They had to make up their own mind. "She's lovely and sweet. Trust me."

"I can't wait to meet her." Kim did her best to sound excited, not since Olivia had they been impressed with one of Gus's girlfriends and the less said about Jazmine the better. "I promise Dad will behave."

"I've warned her how crazy it might get." Gus teased his Mom. "I feel like we are due."

"It is not crazy. I take offense to that."

"Mom, it's a Circus." Kim tried to deny it but he wasn't far wrong it could go any which way.

He made the effort to arrive early so that Rhiannon could meet his parents first before the Hollister side of the family descended because once Lola was on the scene anything could happen.

"Adam." Kim had literally run outside where he was cleaning his barbecue before he started cooking dinner. "Gus just called."

"What's his excuse this week?"

"Nothing, he's coming and he is bringing someone."

"About fucking time." He closed the lid and wiped his hands on the towel. "Better be a damn sight better than the last one."

"Well he sounds happy so that's a bonus. He wasn't exactly bubbling over with enthusiasm last time. But you will behave yes?"

"Pfft." Adam touched her nose playfully. "How about you tire me out before everyone arrives? Just in case."

"No."

Grabbing his wife around the waist he pulled her flush against his body and whispered in her ear. "You so want to get naked with me, I can feel it. Your body is starting to tingle, you are starting to shake with anticipation and your breathing is getting a little heavier." He sucked on her earlobe and kissed that tender spot just behind her ear that turned Kim to putty.

"Hurry up then." She melted into him and she dragged him upstairs.

"Are you sure you are ready for this?" Gus was getting nervous the closer they got to his parents' house.

"Yes. Stop freaking out. It's just dinner."

"You don't know what they are like."

"My last boyfriend, his parents hated each other but still stayed married, they spent more time scrapping and fighting with each other. His Dad was an asshole and ordered his wife around like a slave and put her down at every opportunity." Rhiannon explained. "So, I reckon this will be a walk in the park."

"My old man isn't an asshole, not to Mom anyway. He worships the ground she walks on and I must warn you they might get a little flirty with each other. They can't help themselves."

Despite pretending to be excited, she was nervous. This meant a lot to her. Gus had talked about his family quite a bit and the amount of time they spent together and the fact that he had told her how much they hated his last girlfriend and how he dug his heels in to piss them off meant that he valued their opinion. He admitted he was a dick during that period and Lola's injury had really woken him up. Up until now Gus hadn't taken anyone else to meet his family and let it slip early on that he wouldn't until he was sure about things and when he suggested that she come to dinner a few days ago it had all come rushing back to her. Perhaps he was feeling it too.

"It's lovely to meet you finally Mrs Ruzek."

"Gus has kept you a surprise, but we are happy you are here and please…" Kim shook her hand. "…don't call me Mrs Ruzek, Adam gets all alpha male and puffs out his chest and struts around like a peacock when he hears that. Please call me Kim."

Kim liked her; she got a good vibe from her and how happy Gus looked. She nervously handed Kim a bottle of wine and some flowers. "Thank you for having me at such late notice. I hope it's not too much bother, I told Gus to let you know earlier but he wanted me to just turn up. He thought that would be fun."

"That doesn't surprise me with Angus, he's learnt that nonsense from his father." Kim reassured her it was fine. Adam always cooks way too much anyway. "Gus, why don't you take Rhiannon out to meet your Dad and I will get us all a drink."

Adam was concentrating on his pride and joy. He decided that they were going all out tonight once Gus had told them he was bringing someone. They didn't need another repeat of last time, even if they didn't like her they weren't going to make it obvious from the start because that just made Gus an idiot. Hopefully he had matured. Kim just laughed at him when he declared he was making his special slow roasted beef.

"Hey Dad." Gus led Rhiannon outside. "How's it going?"

"Slow." He spun around, wiped his hands. "Well hello." Smiling at Rhiannon he held out his hand and introduced himself. He had to admit, she looked a hell of a lot better than the last one and he didn't cringe when she spoke.

"It's lovely to meet you, Gus talks about you a lot."

"Oh damn…. don't listen to him I am not that bad." Fortunately, Gus had warned Rhiannon what to expect. She was surprised he was such a big man though. Gus wasn't small but Adam was a lot more filled out and imposing. "Welcome to the circus although the tent is only half full at this point."

"I am excited. I can't wait to see all those cute baby photos of his naked little butt."

"Photos." Adam roared. "I've got videos."

"Excellent."

Adam told Gus to go away and find his mother and a drink while he talked to Rhiannon. "I need to like give her the talk. You know the one I gave Sam?"

"Too late." He winked at Rhiannon and went to help his Mom with the drinks.

"She seems nice and normal Gus." Kim handed him two glasses bottle of beer while she poured the wine.

"She is nice and normal. Can we not go there? I have one disaster and it's bought up every single time. What about all the dicks Polly paraded through here?" He muttered. He was never going to live it down, although as stupid as some of Polly's choices were he was smart enough to recognise that Jazmine was way out there.

"… with a Zee." Kim reminded him. "Need I say more?"

"Okay. Anyway, Rhiannon is not like her, not in the slightest so we can drop it yeah?"

"Bus, Bus, Bus." Lola hadn't seen him but had seen his car and was calling out for her Uncle before she even got through the door. "Bus, I here." She burst out of the back door and flung herself into Gus's waiting arms. He flung her up in the air and she squealed happily. "Put me down."

"No."

"Bus, I see Roos today. They hopping."

"Like this?" Gus hopped up and down with Lola still hanging onto his neck. She nodded enthusiastically. "We go to the zoo."

"You go to the zoo all the time. That's not new news."

"Hi Pops." Lola waved at her Pops. She was a human pinball machine and this was her turf.

"Lola Bear." He tickled his granddaughter.

"Evening…" Polly stopped on a dime when she came out. "Oh…Hi." She suddenly spotted Rhiannon sitting on the couch watching Gus and Lola. "I'm Polly."

"I figured. It's nice to meet you Polly." Rhiannon stood up and shook Polly's hand. "Lola is even prettier in real life than in the photos. I've been looking forward to meeting her, and you." Along with Gus's parents Rhiannon knew she had to win his sister over too. Gus had also told her, in no uncertain terms was she to flirt with his brother-in-law _'no matter how hot you think he is. Polly loses her shit.'_ He was laughing when he said it but Rhiannon got the message.

"Thank you." Polly was still a little speechless. "We kind of like her and she loves her Uncle Bus. She's been at us all day to see him."

"Why wouldn't she? Like she has to put up with you two constantly, she needs some joy in her life." Gus finally stopped chuckling at Polly's stunned expression and started teasing his sister. "She learns fun things from me and bitch from you."

Lola gasped. "Bus, that's naughty."

"It is. You tell him Lola Bear."

"Where is the zookeeper?"

"On the phone Bus." Lola rolled her eyes. Sam was always on the phone according to Lola. Even though they had been at the zoo this morning he was checking in on a new zebra who had been born late last night. "He got a 'bra."

"A zebra." Polly clarified. "He had a baby zebra last night. It had a rough start but it's doing okay now but he's fretting."

"No wonder you refuse to breed with him again. He's a nightmare." Rhiannon loved seeing how close Polly and Gus were, he had told her they were close but she couldn't really imagine what that looked like having spent most of her childhood an only child.

"There is one big reason I am not currently breeding with Sam…." Polly started but Adam interrupted and covered Lola's ears with his hands and shook his head.

"…Polly, Polly, Polly, think of the child."

Lola decided to stay outside and talk to her Pops for a bit while Gus took Rhiannon inside to meet Sam with Polly and his Mom. It was getting a little cooler outside. It was also one way to get Sam to hang up, he'd be just as shocked as Polly to see Gus with a date. Surely if Sam knew anything he would have told Polly, he couldn't keep anything from her and if he had kept this from her, she might just neuter him. It annoyed Polly sometimes how often he was on the phone but it was part of his job and he took it very seriously.

It was a bad move, leaving Lola alone with her Pops and despite Kim arguing with Gus that they weren't a circus, the whole evening descended into a circus thanks to Lola and her talk with her Pops about her parents squashing each other in the 'nicky nude'.

Rhiannon had been a little shocked, Sam had been funny, he shrugged and told her to just sit back, have a drink and watch the show and they delivered in spades. It was one of the funniest dinner's she'd ever been too. They were hilarious but she never felt like there was any nastiness and she told Gus just as much on the way home.

Polly, Gus and their parents were totally insane but it was also very sweet to see them love being together. She didn't think families like that existed; they certainly weren't normal from what she had seen but she thought it was great and couldn't wait to get to know them better.

"So…" Gus looked a little sheepish once they left. "That is my family. The Ruzek circus in full swing."

"Oh My God."

Gus tried to tell her that it wouldn't always be like that and sometimes they actually had normal conversations.

"Oh My God." Rhiannon laughed. "Gus, I've never had a dinner like that in my life."

"You are bolting aren't you?"

"No, when can we go back? That was bloody hilarious. Your parents, oh my god how cute are they? And your sister is so funny and lovely, Sam just kept topping up my wine telling me to sit back and watch and Lola is just, I have no words for her."

He was worried that she was freaked out and it wasn't so much that his family wouldn't welcome her back but that Rhiannon would not want to go back but she did.

"They liked you."

"How could you tell?" She had no idea when they had the chance to even talk about it; it had been one crazy conversation after another.

"They told me. And I know them."

Gus liked her too, more and more every day. He was besotted, he was falling hard and did absolutely nothing to stop it.


	4. Dead To Me

"You okay?" Rhiannon had suddenly grabbed Gus's hand and hurried him into her building.

"Rhiannon." He glanced at the grey-haired woman who had approached them and called her name. He paused momentarily until Rhiannon pulled on his hand.

Instinctively he slipped his arm protectively around her shoulder as she seemed to physically shrink beside him while they waited for the lift. She pressed the button furiously several times. Gus ushered her into the lift and she didn't even turn around when the woman called out to her again "Rhiannon please." She begged.

As soon as the doors closed she literally crawled into Gus's pocket and he could feel her shaking. She was seriously freaked out and he did wonder if it was a crazy ex-client, and god knows she had a few apparently but he was more expecting a man to be stalking her, not a grey haired harmless looking woman. Although being a cop he had soon learnt that people weren't always what they seemed.

Her hands trembled as she tried to un-lock her door so Gus took the keys from her hand and let them in. He was a little shocked when she turned to face him with a look of utter devastation on her face. "Who was that?" Up until she saw that stranger outside she had been happy and laughing. Gus had picked her up from work and they'd had lunch before coming home. Rhiannon had been showing houses all morning, which wasn't unusual for a Saturday and all through lunch she seemed completely fine.

"My mother." She spat out.

"Your mother? I thought she was dead."

"She is to me."

Rhiannon hadn't had the childhood that you wrote fairy tales about. Her mother up and left a six-year Rhiannon with her father. She went to school one day and sat and waited for two hours after school to be picked up by her mother, she never came and she never saw her again.

Her father worked hard as an electrician to give Rhiannon everything she needed but all she wanted was her Dad to be around and her Mom to come home. She got neither. When she was ten her Dad remarried and Anne was hardly affectionate. She never hurt her step daughter but didn't really love her either and then the twins came along, Evie and Rosie and that took even more time away from Rhiannon and as far as her Dad was concerned, she needed to get on board or get out of the way.

By the time she was seventeen that marriage was over when she was twenty-two, he moved onto his third marriage. Xanthe was lovely and sweet and never had children of her own. She adored Rhiannon and loved Evie and Rosie too even though Anne made things hard for them. Xanthe was very conservative and never missed a Sunday church service and her Dad was happy and that's all that mattered to her.

As far as Rhiannon was concerned her mother ceased to exist and she had told Gus that she had left her as a child and that she was no longer around. It was probably deliberately vague on her part and Gus just accepted it. He knew that her father, Henry and stepmother Xanthe were her family and she was happy to let him think that.

"Okay, but she's obviously not dead."

"No." She shook her hands furiously and then pressed them to her face as the tears started to fall. "No, No. No." she cried desperately. "She can't do this, not now." Gus caught her as she crumpled to the floor and sat down there with her, rocking her tenderly as she sobbed in his arms. It was in that moment he knew, he felt it and he started to embrace it. This was his one in a million and she was hurting and it was breaking his heart.

"Ah Babe." Rhiannon had finally stopped the sobs that were wracking her body and let Gus wipe away her tears before she headed to the bathroom to wash her face and get changed out of her work clothes. "She is still downstairs, she is in the building." He had checked the CCTV that all apartments had access to of the foyer.

"Call the cops."

"I am the cops; do you want me to go down."

"No." She snapped. "Call someone, it's not your problem."

"It is my problem."

"Call the cops or I will."

Gus agreed to call, and he called a buddy who he knew was working but only on the proviso that when they arrived he went down and explained what was going on, not that he had any real idea. Although Rhiannon had cried in his arms for a good twenty minutes he still had no idea what any of this was about.

The woman, who he learnt when the cops asked was called Margaret Mason. He had shaken his buddy's hand and thanked them for coming, completely ignoring Margaret. "I am not here to cause trouble." She argued when the uniforms told her to leave the premises. "I just want to talk to my daughter." She lunged at Gus and tried to grab his arm. "Please, can you tell her I need to talk to her?"

"Mam. You need to leave." Officer Burton, Gus's academy buddy stood in between her and Gus, not that he thought either of them were in any danger.

"She doesn't want to see you." Gus finally spoke. "You should go." He didn't know the full story, actually he barely knew half of it but it was upsetting Rhiannon and it surprised him how much he hated it and he didn't really care about anything else. This woman's random appearance and pleas had no effect on him, he didn't care, he cared about how upset Rhiannon was.

Finally they convinced her to leave, "If you leave now I won't take you back to the district and charge you."

"With what? I just want to talk to my daughter."

"Get her out of here." Gus replied coldly.

He could hear Rhiannon as soon as he opened the door, she was hysterically ranting into her phone. "What the hell is she doing here? How does she know where I live?" It took him a few minutes to figure out she was talking to her Dad.

"No, I won't fucking calm down. She is in my building, what does she want? I don't need her."

"Whoa." Gus hurried across the room as she started to sway. "Hey." He grabbed her around the waist and took the phone from her hand and spoke briefly to her Dad.

"Is she okay?" Her Dad sounded panicked.

"Ah, not really. I think she's in shock. Look I'll take care of her, I promise."

"What did she want?" She pushed away from Gus as he hung up the phone. All the emotions she could possibly feel were running through her at a rapid rate of knots, it was making her head spin and she felt sick.

"To talk to you."

"No fucking way." Anger was certainly one of the emotions Gus was witnessing for the first time, he had never seen her like this. Rhiannon was always calm and happy. "I don't need to hear what she has to say. She doesn't exist."

"Okay. She's gone anyway."

"Good." She stormed into the bedroom and Gus followed quietly and watched as she reefed open her drawers and threw some clothes on the bed before getting down on her hands and knees looking for her small overnight bag under the bed.

Whatever was going on Gus needed to stay calm, demanding to know what was happening wasn't going to help. At some point she'd stop and talk to him. He just needed to wait which for Angus Ruzek wasn't an easy feat. He was male and like his father they just wanted to fix the problem and that was not what Rhiannon needed right now. "Can I help?"

"No."

"Are you going somewhere?"

"To your place." Rhiannon spoke like she couldn't believe he didn't know that. "I can't stay here, she knows where I live. How the fuck does she know that?"

"I don't know." Gus silently took the bag from her hands and started sorting through the clothes she had pulled out. She was going to need more than 4 sports bras, a t-shirt and pair of shorts. He put a few things back and grabbed out some leggings and a sweater. She could wear some of his clothes tonight but she would need something else for tomorrow. "Go grab your toiletries." He gave her something to do rather than stand next to him bordering of bursting into tears again.

Rhiannon was in an almost catatonic state as he took her back to his place and appreciated that he didn't push her but when she was ready he was waiting. She pulled her legs up to her chest, hugging her knees and leant on his hand as he rested it on her cheek.

"I went to school one day and at home time all the other kids had gone home and I was sitting in the principal's office when they called the cops. They went to my house and it was empty and I was taken to the station and my Dad picked me up from there. She just left, she packed her bag and she left. She left me, I was six and she hated me for some reason, so much she didn't even say goodbye. When she dropped me off at school that morning she just said have fun. The last words my mother said to me were 'have fun', what sort of mother does that?"

"I don't know Babe."

"My Dad wasn't violent, he never hit her that I know of, he never hit me. He worked really hard and she always got what she wanted. We had a nice house, we went on vacations. I thought it was me? What did I do to make her hate me so much she could just leave?"

"I can't imagine leaving you."

Rhiannon drew a quick breath, Gus wasn't sure if she was just breathing or digesting his last comment. "Since that day, twenty-one years ago I have not laid eyes on my mother. She is dead to me."

Gus just listened to her; he held her hand, stroked her face and commented occasionally. Eventually she curled up in a tight ball at his side, rested her head on this shoulder and said nothing. It was only his gentle, constant touch that got her to relax and he felt her body lose its tenseness. "Why don't you take a shower and I will make you something to eat?"

"I am not hungry, but I will have a shower I think. Will you stay?"

"Umm Babe, this is my place. I'm not going anywhere." Rhiannon didn't want him out of her sight. Her fears of being left had shot to the surface again. When she was six she had suffered nightmares for weeks about being left, she would cry when her Dad went to work and crawl into his bedroom every night and sleep on the floor beside him. Henry would wake up and find her on the floor and scoop her up and put her into his bed. He hated his wife for walking out on him, but he hated her even more for breaking his daughter.

It had taken almost a year of constant reassurance to get his daughter back to being the fun-loving beautiful girl she had once been.

Gus sat on the closed lid of the toilet while she showered and handed her a towel when she got out. "I will grab you some sweats and a t-shirt."

"Thank you." He didn't know what else to do to help, he offered food, which she rejected and the shower and a place to stay and someone to lean on but that's all he had.

She curled up on the couch and closed her eyes while Gus just watched her. He sat next to her, rested her feet in his lap and waited, for what he didn't know.

"Is it okay if I stay tonight?"

"Of course, I am not letting you go anywhere right now." He just kept touching her. "You can stay as long as you like or need."

Rhiannon rolled onto her back. "I don't know what to do?"

"In what way?"

"You said she wants to talk to me, what if it's to tell me why she left."

"Do you want to know? After all this time, does it matter?"

"Of course it matters." She covered her face with her hands and let out an angry groan. "She's my mother. You don't know what it's like."

"I don't, I have no idea but I am just worried about you."

"Why?"

"Why what? Why am I worried?"

"Yes."

"Because it has upset you, it's hurting you and I don't like that and I want to help fix it."

"You can't fix it."

"I know, doesn't mean I don't want to try and help though."

"I appreciate it, you don't have to stay though. You've had enough drama with exes."

"You are not an ex. And I do have to stay…" He grabbed both her hands and looked her square in the eye. "I do have to stay because I love you." Rhiannon just stared at him. "I am in love with you and I am hurting for you and I want to help, I want to stay and I want you to stay here with me right now."

"I want to stay but I am scared."

"Of what?"

"Falling in love with you and then you will leave."

"Not until you tell me to go. Tell me to go and I will, but I am not leaving you, I've just found you." Tugging on her hand he pulled her into his arms. "Stay with me, I'll keep you safe."

"Do you mean it?" Rhiannon had been quiet for a while. Gus hadn't moved, she was curled up in his arms and holding her safely against his chest and she felt comforted by that.

"Mean what? Do I love you?" He rested his cheek on the top of her head. "I really do, you've gone and made me fall in love with you."

"Gus?"

"Yes Babe."

"I'm in love with you."

"That's fantastic." He hooked one finger under her chin and made her look at him, "But you need to look me in the eye and tell me that."

She smiled sweetly and looked him dead in the eye. "I love you." There was the briefest of pauses and Gus's eyes twinkled and suddenly Rhiannon was kissing him, hard and willing. She jumped off his lap and hauled him up off the couch and into the bedroom.

Gus rested his head on her bare stomach and he felt relieved. He had been worried that right now was not the right time to tell her that he loved her but it turned out that it was probably what she needed to hear so that she could finally open up, at least that's what he hoped. "What are we going to do?"

"We?" Rhiannon was running her hands through his dirty blond hair and staring into space. His question bought her focus back.

"Well yes, we. I want to help you do whatever you need or want to do."

"I don't know yet. I don't want to think about it." He saw the tear on her cheek and sitting up Gus kissed it away. "I don't want to ruin this moment for us. I want to stay in this moment for a while longer. I feel safe here."

"Good, you are safe here with me." He lay back down. "As long as tomorrow we talk about it, okay? I won't mention it again tonight."

"I'd like that." The only mention of it was when she told Gus that she needed to message her Dad after looking at her phone. He had called her ten times and sent a dozen messages. She texted him back telling him not to worry, that she was fine and with Gus at his place and she would see him tomorrow.

Despite asking for time and insisting she was fine it was an unsettled night. Rhiannon tossed and turned and at one stage Gus felt her get up and when she didn't come back he found her sitting on his small balcony in the dark staring out over the dark Chicago night. "I need to be alone Gus." She told him and he just grabbed a rug, tucked it around her shoulders and kissed her temple and left.

He had no idea what time it was when she came back to bed but he instinctively lifted his arm and let her sneak under it. "You okay?"

"I'm tired."


	5. A Protection Racket

Gus was up early and made breakfast. No matter what she wasn't going anywhere without eating, even if it was just a coffee and piece of toast. They hadn't really eaten last night. "Do you want me to come with you?" Rhiannon had organised to go talk to her Dad, firstly she had to go home and get some more clothes. The thought of going back did make her feel sick though, what if she was there waiting for her?

"You don't deserve to be dragged into this?"

"I am in this, even if it is just to hold your hand. Let me in Babe." He had always felt that this was one part that he didn't have a handle on, he had met her father and step mother and they had caught up with her step sisters a couple of times but it was always on her terms and until he was in as deep as he was now that was okay. Not anymore.

"Can you hold my hand?" She held out one shaking hand. "Please."

He barely let it go all day. Even if he didn't have her hand he had her back. Her Dad knew nothing but encouraged her to see what her mother had to say. Obviously Xanthe had a hand in that, she was all about forgiveness. All it did was get Rhiannon more and more upset. She felt like she was being attacked on all sides and the only person in her corner was Gus.

"So?" Gus waited and waited and Rhiannon said nothing. "What's next?"

"I don't know. Maybe seeing what she has to say will let me let it go completely." She tapped her chest. "Because it's always been here as much as I tried to ignore it, it's always been here. I buried it but it was never really over."

"What if you don't like what she says?"

"How bad could it be?"

"What do you think would be the worse possible reason she could give you?" She was surprised by the question and had no idea what to say.

"I don't know."

"Yes you do, you can't tell me that you haven't thought about the reason why once over the past twenty odd years?"

Again he was waiting for her to answer and her response was heartbreaking. "That she hated me, that she never wanted me."

"And if she told you that was the reason how would you feel?" Gus was challenging her and it was uncomfortable and confronting.

"Why are you pushing me?"

"Because you can't keep burying this. It's here, in your face, right now and you can't hide from it." If he'd learnt one thing from all those months of dealing with the fallout from Abbey's rape and suicide was that pretending it wasn't happening wasn't healthy and neither was not talking about it or dealing with it even when the questions were shit. Watching Polly crash and burn had been brutal but they came out the other side eventually. He wasn't letting Rhiannon crash and burn, she could fall and stumble, she could yell and scream at him but he wasn't letting go. He might fuck it up, but he wasn't going to be accused of not trying.

"Maybe she will go away again."

"Maybe she will and then how will you let it go? You will wonder what is was that she wanted to tell you and it will start all over again." He had no idea how she felt, not even close but she was suffering and that he could see and feel and he hated it.

"You think I should see her?"

"I think you need to figure out what is worse. The knowing or the not knowing?"

Rhiannon didn't answer and Gus didn't expect her to either. She had to think about it and it wasn't until they were in bed and it was dark that Rhiannon answered him. "Not knowing is worse." She whispered and Gus held her as she cried.

Gus was on edge all day, his buddy noticed it and commented that he seemed jumpy and had little patience for the general public and their stupidity. Rhiannon was meeting her mother today and had insisted on going alone. Gus wasn't sure, neither was her Dad but she had to do it and waiting for her call was torture. He was in deep, so fucking deep it was a little surprising. All this had made him realise that Rhiannon meant more to him than he thought. Sure he was in love with her, it was the depth of that love already that surprised him.

"Hey. How are you?" He was pacing around his apartment waiting for her call. He'd got off work two hours ago and kept checking his phone, he'd called once and promised not to hassle her but he just wanted to know she was okay. If she needed time he'd give her that, but he needed to know she was okay. "How'd it go? Where are you?"

"Just walking."

"Walking, where? Babe it's getting dark."

"I know. I'm down the lake."

Gus grabbed his keys and his wallet and was out the door. "Where are you? I am coming to get you."

"Okay." He kept her on the phone, kept her talking just so he could satisfy himself that she was safe. Walking by the lake at night by herself was insane. Being who he was, the cop in him immediately started thinking the worst. This was Chicago, you didn't walk anywhere isolated at night by yourself if you were a man, let alone a woman. His heart was racing and he broke every speed limit on the way and didn't give a damn.

He jogged towards the lonely figure walking slowly along the Lake's edge. "Rhiannon, babe."

"I'm okay." She held her hands out wide. "See."

"Good to know." He fell into stride beside her and reached for her hand. "Nice night."

"It is." It was weird, she was acting weird and it was beyond confusing, it was seriously freaking him out. Falling quiet they walked together saying nothing and the longer it went on the more anxious Gus became but Rhiannon seemed calm.

Finally. "Apparently my mother suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder."

"Do you believe that?"

"I guess. I don't have any reason not to believe her." Truth be told she had no idea what to think. She had been a nervous wreck and couldn't believe she was sitting opposite her mother. It was a little surreal. "I don't understand what that even means."

"I know a little, just what I've picked up from having to deal with these cases. It can be heartbreaking for the families."

"She also told me that she sent me letters and cards and presents every year, I never got them. My Dad hid them from me; she never missed a year. Never. Why? Why would he do that?"

"I think you need to ask him that? Perhaps he didn't want you to know, for whatever reason, I am sure he was doing it because he thought it was the best thing for you."

"The best thing for me…" She thumped her chest angrily, suddenly showing some emotion but it still made Gus jump. "She was my mother and I thought she didn't love me or want me."

"Woah." He tugged on her hand and made her stop for a moment. Something didn't add up, he didn't know her father all that well but doubted that he would hide this from her; especially after Rhiannon told him she was back. He must have known it would get out so it made no sense to pretend it never happened. He was also a little surprised she was more willing to believe a woman she hadn't seen for more than twenty years over the father that stuck by her and raised her. "Slow down. You need to talk to your Dad."

"I don't want to talk to him. He lied to me, my whole life."

"Rhiannon, just stop and think for a minute. Why would he do that? Why would he not tell you the other night when you told him she was back? It makes no sense."

"I can't." They walked for a little while longer, but it wasn't exactly warm out and getting colder by the minute. Perhaps it stemmed from her desperation to believe that this wasn't about her at all, that her mother didn't want to abandon her, didn't stop loving her and always thought about her. She didn't want to face up to her fears that this was all about not wanting her.

"It was weird. It felt like I wasn't there, that I was watching this happen." Gus convinced her to turn around and head back towards the parking lot. He wanted to get her home out of the cold. "I dreamed of this so often when I was young, that one day she'd come back and tell me that she had been kidnapped and that the first thing she did when she escaped was come and tell me that she missed me and loved me."

"When did that stop?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe today." She dissolved into tears and Gus had no idea what to say. His poor baby. He was so far out of his depth he didn't know what to do. He was blindly trying to figure it out and he worried that he'd get this wrong. "I said we'd have dinner tomorrow night. Is that okay?"

Gus reluctantly agreed. He didn't want to go but Rhiannon did and at the very least it would give him a chance to test out his gut feel. So far it hadn't been good, he was worried.

Knocking on her office door Kim was surprised to see her son. He rarely came into the Ivory tower, most cops avoided the place like the plague. Bad things happened here. Adam had told her as much and he had insisted that they have some sneaky office sex to clear the place of its bad JuJu. He really was a complete idiot most of the time, and she loved him for it. "You got time for lunch?" Gus plopped himself down in a chair and folded his arms behind his head.

"Sure. To what do I owe this pleasure? What do you need?"

"Ha, why do you think I need something?"

"Because I know you Angus Ruzek."

"I need to talk to my Mom."

"Sounds ominous. Sound I be worried?"

"Nope." He was giving her nothing; he didn't want to talk about it here. This place was making him nervous.

"How's Rhiannon?" Kim got straight to it when they finally sat down at the small café around the corner from the office. She figured that this was what it was all about. There was a small moment of panic when she thought that maybe Gus was going to tell her that Rhiannon was pregnant. Although they liked her, it was so early in their relationship to really know. Polly and Sam had fallen pregnant early but they had the privilege of having known each other a long time. Rhiannon and Gus had barely known each other for four months.

"She's not so great right now."

"Oh." It wasn't helping her nerves.

"Rhiannon always told me her mother was dead. Apparently that wasn't quite true. She was dead as far as Rhiannon was concerned until she turned up three days ago."

"What? I'm not sure I understand."

"Neither does Rhiannon. She hasn't seen her for more than twenty years. She left Rhiannon with her Dad when she was six, dropped her off at school and never came back for her. I want to help her Mom but I don't know how."

"What does she want?"

"Who? Her mother?" Gus took a mouthful of his coffee and thought about it for a minute. From what Rhiannon had told him she gave no reason why she came back all of a sudden. "I don't know. I am not sure Rhiannon does either. She told her she had Borderline Personality Disorder but little else."

"What about Rhiannon? How does she feel? What does she want?"

"She wants to know why she left but I am not sure she's ready to deal with the answer. That's what scares me the most."

"Why does it scare you?"

"I love her Mom, I don't want to fuck it up."

"Okay." She was a little stunned by his revelation. They guessed that Gus was heading that way, bringing her around for dinner each week meant something serious was going on but to hear him say it was unexpected. He'd always played his cards very close to his chest. "Firstly I think she is lucky she has you, I know you don't want to fuck it up. I don't think you will as long as you are honest with her. Don't just tell her what you think she wants to hear, tell her what you really think. If you are worried about her, tell her. It doesn't help anyone in the long run not being honest."

"Does Dad ever not support your decisions?"

"Oh god yes. He hates that I work in the Ivory Tower. He hated my decision but that doesn't mean he doesn't support me. It was what I wanted to do, he asked me why, he listened and then he said his piece and let it go."

"Rhiannon wants me to have dinner with her mother tonight."

"And you don't want too?"

"I don't want her to get hurt, more than she is already hurting. I am scared that there is some ulterior motive for her turning up out of the blue and I am scared that Rhiannon is pinning her hopes on her mother, being…" He felt overwhelmed. "…her mother again."

"And that's a bad thing?"

"She left her six year old daughter and hasn't made contact in more than twenty years." He closed his eyes for just a moment. "Although she apparently told Rhiannon she sent her cards and letters every year and her Dad kept them from her."

"You sounded like you don't believe it?"

"I don't. I've met her Dad, it doesn't seem like the thing he'd do. Even a couple of nights ago when she first turned up we went to see him and he didn't say a word. He'd have to know that would come out, so why hide it from her now?"

"Maybe you are overthinking this. Stop thinking like a cop."

"I can't, I am a cop. And you'd be exactly the same. You join the dots, these dots don't add up." Gus leant forward. "If she was doing that, why did she never make the effort to come back until now? You freak out if Polly goes more than two days without talking to you or messaging you, why twenty odd years?"

"This is not that same Gus. If Rhiannon wants a relationship with her mother and her mother wants that too then perhaps you have to let them work it out."

"I know."

Kim leant forward and rubbed his arm. "Doesn't mean you have to like it but I think you should tell Rhiannon your fears for her and decide if you want to support her or walk away."

"I am not walking away."

"Okay then, just be there to pick her up. That's probably all she needs from you, to know you'll be there. "

"It's not easy though is it? I just want to protect her."

"It's not. I have faith in you though. You know why?"

"Because I am a Ruzek?" Gus chuckled. It always came back to that.

"Because you are so much like your Dad it is crazy." Kim laughed with him. "And he is the best man I know, he's the only person I've ever wanted on my side, in my corner and he's never let me down."

"Never?"

"No, never. He pisses me off constantly though." Kim pushed her plate away despite desperately wanting to eat the fries but they were both on a little bit of a health kick. Adam had bemoaned his expanding waistline and Kim offered to support him in his quest to cling to his youth. "Do you want me to do a background check?"

"I've thought about that." Being cops had its advantages but also made you more sceptical. "Maybe we should hang off for a bit."

"Are you going to dinner?"

"Of course."

Gus didn't like the dinner at all. The woman was piling the pressure on Rhiannon and he did his best to hold his tongue. Rhiannon introduced Gus to Margaret. "Hi, nice to see you again." She shook Gus's hand after trying to give Rhiannon a kiss on the cheek, which she baulked at.

"I hope one day you will call me Mom." It was with that comment that things started going pear shaped. Rhiannon had called her Margaret and he felt Rhiannon stiffen beside him, she rubbed her hands on her thighs nervously and he reached over and squeezed one of them.

"How long have you been together?"

"A couple of months. Rhiannon tried to sell me some dodgy apartment and by the time she showed me the third terrible apartment I started to figure out she was just doing it to see me."

"And you are a cop?"

"I am, as are my parents."

"You have kids?"

"No. I have a niece though. Charlotte is almost three. I prefer to play with her, stir her up and spoil her rotten and then go home. She loves Rhiannon too."

"So no plans to have your own?" What the hell was that question about? Basically he didn't like any of the hits he was getting off Margaret but Rhiannon didn't seem to be bothered by them. As he thought, she was so desperate to believe that her mother wanted to be in her life again she wasn't thinking clearly.

"Not yet."

"I hope to be a grandmother one day." Rhiannon may not have noticed but Gus had alarm bells screaming in his head. Probably his cop brain going into overdrive but this woman had a reason to be here and it wasn't just to make up with her daughter. She wanted something, he was sure of it.

He held his tongue though. Rhiannon did ask him what he thought after the dinner and he was careful with his words. "I am still worried about you."

"Why?"

"I just don't want you to get hurt, that's all."

"Can you just be on my side?"

Standing in front of her he ran both hands up and down her arms before he pulled her in for a hug. "I am, Rhiannon I am on your side." It was the best he could do, he'd support her despite having a bad feeling about it all.

He was right to worry. Rhiannon threw herself into it. Her mother hung around and appeared to be making an effort but he still got a bad hit off her and she was starting to notice that Gus didn't like her all that much.

"It's disappointing that you are trying to sabotaged my relationship with my daughter. You hardly know her, or what she wants." Margaret finally confronted him when Rhiannon was in the bathroom one night while they were having dinner.

"I am not sabotaging anything. I am looking out for her, I care about her a lot and I don't want to see her get hurt."

"I am not here to hurt her. She's my daughter."

"Then why are you here, why now? Why did you wait twenty two years?"

"I don't need to explain anything to you."

Gus leant across the table as he spied Rhiannon working her way back to the table. "If you want me to support this, then perhaps you do."

He did the one thing he never wanted to do; he ran a background check. Or got his Dad to do it and Adam called him up and asked him to come in for a chat. The fact that his Dad was doing it at work didn't make Gus feel good about it. He already knew it was going to get ugly.

"Before I give you this I want you to think long and hard about what you are doing." Adam gave him one last chance to walk away. Once he opened this file there was no going back. He knew Gus had struggled with his decision to run the background check in the first place. When he got it Adam had felt his heart sink.

"I am protecting Rhiannon."

"Does she want you to protect her?"

"Yes, yes she does. She wants me to be on her side." He picked up the file. "This is me being on her side."


	6. Big Little Lies

"Okay." Adam slid the folder across his desk towards his son. "You're gut wasn't wrong. You are right to worry. Margaret Mason hasn't existed for more than twenty years, twenty-two to be exact. This is Louise Matthews."

"What?"

"She changed her name by deed poll just after she left." Margaret Mason was Rhiannon's mothers name; it was listed on her birth certificate. Marshall had been her married name. Rhiannon had showed him that one night when she pulled out all her old photos and mementos from her early childhood years. They were stored in a box at her father's house. Apparently she hadn't looked at them in more than a decade and asked her father to destroy them but he didn't. If she wanted to destroy them she would have to do it herself and the very fact she couldn't told him that she wasn't ready for the finality of that act. So he kept them for her.

Just after Margaret came back he set it on the table in front of Rhiannon and she got up and left the room. As they were leaving Gus asked her if she wanted them and she whispered yes. He grabbed them and took them home but it was another week before he came home from a shift and found her sitting on the floor surrounded by the memories of her early years crying rivers of tears. Gus sat behind her, wrapped his arms around her and asked her about the photos and memories and six years of memories flowed out of her, so pathetically few memories for a daughter to have of her mother.

Gus opened the file in front of him. "What the hell?" The first picture was Margaret, suddenly with dark hair when she was a natural blond, with a small baby and he knew it wasn't Rhiannon. "She has more kids? She told Rhiannon she didn't."

"She has two other children. This girl…" Adam had come around and sat on his desk next to Gus and tapped the top photo "..is twenty-two years old." He waited for that to sink in. "She was born 5 months after Margaret left Rhiannon with her father. The boy is twenty."

"Fuck."

"There is more."

Gus was pretty sure this was enough. "She married the father of her two children and they are still married. The daughter, Rachel has a new baby who was born with a kidney condition."

"Don't tell me that the baby needs a kidney transplant?"

"Not yet." Adam scratched his rough stubble. "I wouldn't be surprised if that's what this is about."

"That fucking bitch." Gus threw the file on the desk. "Why the fuck is she trying to destroy Rhiannon again? Wasn't once enough? I warned Rhiannon to be careful but I can see it, she wants her Mom, she wants to believe her."

"What are you going to do?"

"I have no idea." Gus rubbed his face wearily. It was a trait that Adam had always had and Gus was cut from the same cloth. "What would you do?"

"I can't tell you that."

"I just want some advice. I'll make up my own damn mind." Gus snapped.

Adam held his hand. "Gus, buddy. Take it easy. I get this is tough for you but you know Rhiannon better than me. You have to do what's best for her and I know that's the only thing you are worried about. You have three choices; tell Rhiannon yourself, tell her mother you know and give her the chance to tell her or you will or you can ignore it." He tapped the file.

"I can't ignore it."

"Okay, so that leaves two choices."

"If I tell her myself that's not really fair is it? She'll know I've done a background check. What if it's legit, what if having this sick granddaughter has made her regret everything?" Adam could see Gus mulling things over, working it out in his head. He had faith in him to do the right thing however much he wanted to jump in feet first himself and fix it for his son. "But there is no guarantee that Margaret, or whoever the fuck she is, won't tell her that I found out and threatened her either."

"Nope, but are you doing this for you or Rhiannon? You can't make the decision based on what's best for you."

"So I am screwed."

"No you are not. Yes she'll be angry but Gus, Rhiannon is going to be hurt either way, she already is. What if she finds out you knew and said nothing? This is being on her side but that doesn't mean it's not going to be rough for you."

"I don't want to lose her Dad."

"I know." Adam squeezed his shoulder. "You know when your mom was pregnant with Polly my ex-fiancé came back into the picture. We got handed a case that she was caught up in and I thought about not telling your mom because I didn't want to upset her. As it turned out this woman tried to convince your mom that we were having an affair, she sent her photos of us together that she'd kept from when we were a couple. If I hadn't told your mom about it from the start do you think she would have ever trusted me again?"

"What happened?"

"It still hurt your mom, I hated that. She was pregnant and I was desperate to protect her and our baby, one day she was sitting in the locker room and she couldn't breathe. I was so fucking angry at this chick and I went after her, hard but I had to do what was best for your Mom and Halstead and Atwater stopped me going over the edge. Eventually we talked about it, it wasn't easy, it was pretty fucking ugly to be honest but it was right to not keep anything from her no matter how much I wanted too and how much it made me feel like shit putting your mom through that."

"So you think it should be me that tells Rhiannon?"

"Not necessarily."

"Fuck, fuck this woman. How the hell does she walk out on her child?" That was something he struggled to get his head around. Even with the mental health issue, not once in two decades had she bothered to reach out to her daughter. Despite what Margaret said he did not believe for one second that she had sent those cards.

Rhiannon had confronted her father and he denied it, vehemently and Gus was surprised that Rhiannon struggled to believe him. Gus organised to catch up with her father and asked him flat out. "I don't care why, how or what but be honest with me, did she ever send a card, letter, present or smoke signal in all the years she wasn't here?"

"Not once. I swear to god, I wouldn't do that to my daughter, no mater how much I hated her for what she did. My daughter deserved the love of a mother, she didn't get it." William was pissed and Gus couldn't blame him but he didn't regret asking.

"Okay."

"What gives you the right to come here and accuse me of lying to my daughter?"

"I am not accusing you, trust me I don't believe for one second she's telling the truth but I had to ask because you want me to help Rhiannon and I need to make sure I am not lying to her. I won't lie to her; I love your daughter. I am trying to help her."

"You need to make sure this woman is on the up and up." Henry gave him that last little push he needed to ask his Dad for the background check. "I don't care about her, I care about my daughter."

Gus let out a long slow breath and Adam just let him take him time. "Is there anything in here.." he opened the file again and flicked through the pages. "..that mentions her mental health issues? Borderline Personality Disorder or whatever craps she claims to have had?"

"No."

That gutted him. Rhiannon seemed to cope with the mental health excuse; she'd convinced herself it was the reason she left. She didn't seem to want to think about why she came back all of a sudden. It was the only thing that made sense and to find out that was a lie would crush her.

Adam felt for his son, he was suddenly thrust into a very precarious and heartbreaking situation. It was obvious to everyone how much Gus cared about Rhiannon, he'd never struggled so much with a relationship issue, he'd never got close enough to someone. Even Olivia, despite them thinking he was finally settling down, never got to see this protective side of his son. Someone was going to get hurt, desperately so and he couldn't get his head around it. He was worried about the fallout. He was worried that Rhiannon would push him away, blame him or walk away out of fear of being left alone.

He was scared that she'd never forgive him for ruining her life… again.

Nonetheless he had to do the right thing, whatever it cost him.

"Hello Louise." Gus was leaning on the bonnet of her rental car. It wasn't hard to track her down. Now he knew why she had been cagey about where she was staying, she didn't want Rhiannon getting too close to soon. She stopped dead in her tracks. "What? Sorry, hello Margaret."

"What do you want?"

"I think the more pertinent question is what do you want, _Louise_?"

"I should have known you'd snoop around, can't stop being a cop can you?"

"I'm not a cop right now." He held his arms out wide and smiled that easy cocky Ruzek smile. "I'm just a guy who is worried about someone I love."

"You know nothing about this, this is none of your business."

"When are you going to tell Rhiannon the real reason you are back?" He wasn't giving away his whole hand too soon. As much as it killed him he had to keep his powder dry.

"You need to leave." She opened her car door and Gus grabbed it before she could close it.

He rested one hand on the roof and leant in close. "You tell Rhiannon the truth by the end of the day, or I will. And…" he paused until she looked at him "..it is my business. Protecting Rhiannon from people like you is my business."

"I need more time. I have an explanation. I had to change my name." She was starting to get desperate. She needed more time to win her daughter over. Margaret knew as soon as she found out her boyfriend was a cop that she had to be careful, she had tried to talk to Rhiannon about him, how dating a cop was a bad idea, how Gus didn't like her and was trying to turn her daughter against her and that he didn't want them to have a relationship, that he was possessive and would try and control her. She told Rhiannon she'd made a mistake and that she was sorry and wanted to try and make up for it. She said all the right things. He was always going to be the biggest hurdle, she could see that her daughter wanted her in her life.

Gus drummed his fingers on the roof of the car. "I'm on a late shift tonight, I'm having breakfast with Rhiannon in the morning, so I guess I'll know by then what you decided to do."

It killed Gus to say nothing when her talked to Rhiannon before he went to work. "What are your plans? Any hot dates?" He tried to keep his voice light.

"I can't tell you that." Rhiannon either didn't pick up on his slightly strained voice or chose to ignore it. "A need to keep a little bit of mystery about me, otherwise you won't come back."

"Oh, I am coming back." Gus chuckled. "Breakfast tomorrow? I'll make your favourite?"

"Pancakes, Bacon and Maple Syrup."

"You got it baby. Hey, gotta go, I love you."

When Rhiannon bounced through his front door early the next morning he knew Margaret hadn't fessed up. "Good shift?"

"Busy." He gratefully accepted her kiss, although it was the gnawing sensation in the pit of his stomach that made him pull away. "How was your night?"

"Oh very exciting. I caught up on my book, took a long bath, shaved my legs."

"You don't shave your legs." Gus yanked on the fridge door and grabbed the milk and eggs for the pancake batter. It did amuse her that he never used the pre-packed pancake mix but Gus had explained it was his Dad's thing and he felt like he was cheating on him if he did make his own batter.

"True, but I couldn't think of another way to say I prettied myself up for you."

He beckoned her closer and Rhiannon leant on the bench with her elbows and enjoyed the kiss. "You don't have to, you are pretty enough."

"Nicely done Angus." After making them both a coffee Rhiannon perched herself up on the bench while Gus cooked. She liked watching him but he seemed a little distracted today and she put that down to a long shift and he was probably tired. She knew he did and saw things that were pretty rough and horrific and didn't often talk about them, not to her anyway. His Dad was his often his counsellor for that. "Anyway, Margaret called last night."

"Really?"

"She wants me to go away with her on the weekend."

"Where?"

"Just some cabin up state. She sounded excited, she said she'd always dreamed of a mother/daughter weekend."

"With you?" He couldn't keep the surprise out of his voice.

"Yes. You don't want me go?"

"Well I will miss you." Gus's head was spinning. Perhaps Margaret wanted to talk to her and tell her the truth, or she was stalling for time. On the other hand there was no way he was letting her be hours away god knows where with a pathological liar. He couldn't imagine Rhiannon being alone and finding this shit out. "I am not working this weekend, I could think of lots of things for us to do."

"You don't want me to go, you don't want me to spend time with Margaret do you?"

"Honestly, No." Deep in his heart he knew Margaret was calling his bluff, trying to make him believe that she was going to tell her by offering to take her away. Well she gambled and lost. Rhiannon admitted she had talked to her last night so she couldn't use the excuse that she couldn't get hold of her. He slid both plates across the bench and pulled up a stool beside her.

"I want to go, why are you trying to control me?"

"Control you?"

"I know you don't like Margaret, you've made it quite obvious but you have no idea what it's been like for me. You have this wonderful family, your mother is great and I love that you have that and I don't get why you don't want me to a least have that chance."

"I don't want you to get hurt."

"You keep saying that, I am a fucking adult Gus, I can make up my own mind. I don't need someone telling me what to think and feel, I need you to let me figure it out myself and if you can't then get out of my fucking way."

"Rhiannon." He tried to grab her hand but she reefed it away and made it plainly obvious that she didn't want to talk to him anymore right now. "Can you just stop and talk to me please?"

"You know what Gus, right now I don't want to talk to you. I want you to respect my wishes and give me a chance."

"Okay." He nodded unconvincingly and held up his hands. "Okay."


	7. All Fall Down

Gus stalked around his house. He'd been like a bear with a sore head all weekend and even his usual chat with Lola failed to cheer him up. So he went to see her instead, if anyone was going to take his mind off things it was his Lola Bear. He was skipping out on dinner tonight because he hoped that Rhiannon would be back and talking to him. That was not a given, she'd basically told him to back off and leave her alone for a few days and it was the last thing he wanted to do.

She had relented and called him from the cabin they were staying at, to let him know she was okay and had made it. It was a little tense but he had done his best not to let his disappointment come through. "Have a nice time and I look forward to hearing about it when you get back. You will come see me won't you? You don't hate me?"

"I don't hate you, I will call you tomorrow." It was short, but better than nothing and calling was not quite the same as agreeing to see him but he took what he could get.

"Where's Lola Bear?" The house was quiet when he got to Polly's.

"They'll be back soon. What's up?" Gus tried to blow her off but Polly had him pegged a long time ago. "What's crawling up your ass?"

"Nothing, Jesus Polly just drop it. I was home alone, I missed Lola and can't come to dinner tonight so I thought I'd spend some time with her. Isn't that what you want, me to spend time with Lola?"

"What'd you do?"

"I didn't do anything. Rhiannon is spending some time with her mother."

"You don't seem happy about that?"

"Why would I be? I'm worried about her, that's all. I want to spend some time with Lola, she'll cheer me up."

"Angus, what's going on?"

"Pol, just leave it. Can we just not talk about it?" They heard Sam's car pull in and the last thing he needed was to keep talking about this shit.

"Bus, Bus, Bus." He squeezed Polly's hand as Lola came barrelling through the door. "Bus." She flung herself at her Uncle and Gus had her up above his head in an instant. "You come."

"I came to see you." He lowered her down and blew a raspberry on her cheek making her giggle. "What are we going to do?" He spent the next hour playing chasey in the back yard. It wasn't exactly warm out but they were both puffing hard and stripped off when they came back in for lunch. She had cheered him up. Polly and Sam both commented on it but left it alone. He didn't want to talk so they backed off and let him distract himself with the three-year-old.

He literally leapt out of his seat when he heard the key in the door. "Hey." Wrapping her up in a tight hug he couldn't hide how happy he was to see her. "I missed you."

"It was one night."

"I know, still missed you though."

"I kind of missed you too. You are pretty sweet and something smells great. I am starving." She peered over his shoulder into the kitchen as he helped her out of her coat.

"You seem happy?"

"I am happy to see you. I'm sorry I was a bit of a bitch."

"As long as you are still my bitch, I'll cope."

Rhiannon wanted to hear about his day with Lola. They had talked briefly that morning and he said he was planning on spending the day with her. Gus handed her a card that Lola had made her. "She likes you more."

Rhiannon patted his cheek. "Poor Baby."

"Come here." Gus pulled her into the kitchen. "I want to make out with you for a minute, while the rice is boiling."

While Rhiannon disappeared into the bedroom after dinner he sent her mother a message. _'tick tock, time's up'_

_'Don't you dare. Give me a chance, I'll tell her I promise.'_

_'No, too late.' _He threw his phone back on the bench angrily. He had given her a chance, when it was the last thing he wanted to do and she probably loved that. If she thought she could keep doing it she was about to be sadly mistaken. She wasn't playing him, not again; his job was to protect Rhiannon and his need to protect his relationship with her, not this woman's sadistic interest in ruining her 'daughters' life…for a second time. He promised her Dad that he would look out for Rhiannon and not let her get hurt again, this was going to hurt but it was hopefully short-term pain.

"Who's that?" Rhiannon caught him throwing his phone.

"A woman called Louise Matthews."

"You know most men who are having an affair don't give up the name so easy." Flicking on the faucet she started filling up the sink to do the dishes.

"Leave them baby."

"No, it's only fair. You cooked, I should clean up." Rhiannon reached for her phone when it rang.

"Leave it. I want to talk to you."

She looked a the name, it was her mother and she contemplated answering it but one look at Gus's face changed her mind so she rejected the call and threw her phone back in her bag.

"Tell me about the weekend?" He grabbed her hand and led her over to the couch.

"Why?"

"Why what? I want to know, I am interested and I want to know how you feel about it."

"It was okay." She started carefully. Rhiannon couldn't put her finger on it but something hadn't sat right with her. Perhaps Gus's scepticism had rubbed off on her. "It was fine."

"Fine? What is it?"

"I don't know Gus, I am just trying to process it all. Please don't push me?"

"Someone has too. You look concerned about something, I want to know."

"Why? So you can give me your opinion. I already know your opinion. You are jealous."

"Jealous, of what?"

"Of me having a relationship with my mother, that it might take some focus off you." This was her mother talking, not Rhiannon. He suspected that she would spend some of the weekend trying to bring him down.

"I am not jealous Rhiannon. It's two different things completely. Are you jealous of my relationship with my Mom?"

"No, of course not."

"Then there is room for both? It's not jealousy Babe, not even close."

"Then what?"

His heart was racing as he jumped up and fetched the file. He was rattled and Rhiannon looked like she wanted to bolt, she knew as soon as she saw the file that he had checked up on her mother. "You know I love you, I need you to know that."

"You checked up on her?"

Gus nodded slightly and continued. "Baby, Louise Matthews is your mother."

"No, it's Margaret." She shook her head. "What are you talking about? I don't understand."

"She legally changed her name twenty-two years ago." He took a deep breath. "Just before she gave birth to her daughter Rachel."

Rhiannon ignored the information that Gus had given her, she couldn't process that and lashed out at him for checking up on her mother. "I can't believe you did that."

"Yes you can and you wanted me too, trust me."

"Don't." Gus reached for her hands and Rhiannon reefed them away. "Don't touch me."

"Rhiannon, sweetheart. I hate this, I hate doing this but I can't sit back and watch you get played. Just read this." He handed her the folder. "Please."

"I feel sick." She was pale and shaky. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because the only person who was going to get hurt is you, and I am not going to sit by and watch that happen." Gus sat back, realising that she was going to need a bit of time and space. "I don't want to lose you, I love you but I can't let you get hurt again. I am not doing this to hurt you, I want to protect you and I didn't know what else to do."

"You could have let me live my bubble a bit longer."

"Baby I wanted to, I wanted it to be everything you hoped it to be. I really did, but it's not."

It ripped out his heart sitting and watching her fall apart with each turn of the page. The words just swam before her eyes. She closed the folder and Gus waited. "I need to go." It was the last thing he wanted but Rhiannon was adamant. "I can't look at you right now. You need to leave me alone."

"Okay." He reached for her hand. "I am going to call you in the morning?"

"Sure."

"What are you going to do?"

"Go home. I don't know." She was struggling to hold it together and her legs shook as she stood up. "I don't know."

Gus walked her to the door. "Can I kiss you?"

Her eyes were pleading for something so he held her cheeks and kissed her softly. "I love you."

"I don't even know who I am."

"I do, you are the woman I am in love with." She leant on him for just a brief second.

The file was still sitting on his coffee table. That fucking file, he hated the sight of it. It had burnt a virtual hole in his pocket. What if it destroyed everything? It was a rough night's sleep for him, he didn't sleep well when he was stressed. Nobody had ever thrown him so off centre like she had and no matter what he did he couldn't get her out of his head.

He got one message from Rhiannon early in the morning, asking him if he knew where she was staying. He asked her if she was okay and got no response. The waiting was killing him, knowing that she was dealing with this alone was not what he wanted to happen. He wanted her to take his hand and ask him to come with her.

Rhiannon did answer his call a few hours later. "I love you." Were the first words out of his mouth when she picked up.

"You don't need to keep saying that."

"I feel like I do. Just in case you forget."

"I haven't forgotten."

"Good to know. So stupid question. How are you?" It was then that she burst into tears. "Baby, where are you?"

"Outside her motel."

"And?"

"She checked out last night, she's turned off her phone."

"Come home."

"I can't I need to wait here, she'll come back. She'll come back for me." Rhiannon disconnected the call.

Gus jumped in his car as soon as she hung up and screamed into the parking lot of the hotel. Rhiannon wasn't in her car but spied her in the lobby and the conversation looked heated. "Get her out of here or I will call the cops." The red faced manager yelled at Gus when he finally got Rhiannon to stop, she was banging on the desk and hysterical so he wrapped his arms around her and dragged her away.

"He won't tell me where she is. Where did she go? She must have left an email address or something."

"Shhh, babe. It's okay. We will sort it out." He looked at the manager and flashed his badge. "I am the cops. I'll take care of it. Can we leave it alone?"

"You get her out of here then we are done."

As soon as they got outside Rhiannon pushed him away. "Don't touch me. This is all your fault, she left because of you didn't she? You told her to leave."

"Get in the car Rhiannon."

"I am not going with you."

"We are not doing this here. Get in the car. Or he will call the cops…" he waved his hand back towards the lobby to where the manager was standing watching them. "…that's not what you want. Trust me."

"Trust you? Why should I trust you? You went behind my back, you investigated my Mom." This had been exactly what he was expecting earlier. She had to get angry. "She was right, you want to control me."

Reaching into his car he pulled out a jacket and told her to put it on. It was freezing out and she wasn't wearing much and the wind just whipped up and cut through him. Rhiannon folded her arms across her chest, trying to shield herself from the cold but she wasn't taking anything from him.

"I am not trying to control you but I did do a background check and I would do it again and again."

Rhiannon turned away and ran for her car, he tried to stop her but it was pointless. "Fuck." He punched the steering wheel of his car as he got in. Following her did enter his mind but the roads were treacherous and if she thought he was after her the last thing he wanted was for her to drive erratically and endanger herself. He did consider putting a BOLO out on her when it was obvious that she had turned her phone off so that he couldn't contact her.

Gus did think of calling her Dad but then he'd have to tell him the truth and Rhiannon would be even angrier with him, if that was possible. So he just had to wait it out.

He had to go to work and it was the last thing he wanted to do. He sent her a message letting her know that he was at work and begging her to let him know she was okay but got nothing until he got home the next morning, after going to her place and finding it empty. She was curled up on his bed, still fully dressed sound asleep.

Gus lowered himself onto the bed and Rhiannon stirred, rolled over into his arms and shed more tears. "Oh Baby, I was so worried about you." He held her head against his chest, kissing the top of her head. "I love you so much."

They both fell asleep, not saying a word. Gus had been up all night and Rhiannon hadn't been much better. He woke when he felt her stirring beside him. "Where you going?"

"Bathroom."

"Are you coming back?"

"Yes."

He heard the shower turn on and gave her a few minutes and finding her on her hands and knees at the bottom of the shower broke his heart. He stripped off and got in with her, pulling her into his arms and they sat on the floor of the shower and he let her sob her heart out.

"Are you ready to talk?" Gus wrapped a towel around her as she stood shivering in his cold bathroom.

"I don't know."

"Get dressed, I'll get you something warm to drink." He squeezed her hand. She held onto him for a just a second. "I'm not going far, just the kitchen."

"Okay." She dressed and followed him out. "Can you tell me what you know?"

"Sure. Drink this first." Gus slid a hot cup of coffee across the bench. "Have you eaten anything since yesterday?"

"No." He made her some toast to go with her coffee and watched her force it down reluctantly.

"Okay." Gus ripped off the band-aid, he had memorised that bloody file, it was burned into his brain. "Your mother was pregnant when she left, she had her daughter 5 months later. Her name is Rachel. She also has another son, Lincoln. She changed her name not long after she left to Louise Matthews and is married to Rachel and Lincoln's father. She also has a granddaughter, Bella who is 6 months old and has a kidney condition."

"So she left me because she was having an affair?" Rhiannon was strangely quiet as she listened to him, her head was resting on the back of the couch and there was some distance between them and Gus gave her that, for now.

"It seems that way, yes."

"Why did you do it? Why did you feel the need to check her out?"

"Because I didn't want you to get hurt. A few things she said didn't sit right with me. I was worried about you pinning all your hopes on finally having this relationship with your mother, and I don't blame you for that one bit, but she walked away from you once and you hadn't heard from her for twenty years and suddenly she's back. It didn't add up."

"Your cop brain?"

"My cop brain." He nodded and brushed his hand over her cheek. "I wanted to protect you."

"Because you love me?"

"Because I love you."

"Do you still love me?"

"More than I did yesterday."

Rhiannon moved a little, no closer to Gus but she looked a little less tense. "Those cards, letters, that was a lie wasn't it?"

"I believe your Dad." No matter how many times Rhiannon asked him what he had done with them his story never waivered. She had never sent her one damn thing.

Gus had talked enough; it was now time for her to tell him how she was feeling. "I was so angry with you."

"I knew you would be."

She jumped up off the couch and fetched something from her bag. It was a soft rabbit. "She gave me this, said it was something of mine that she took with her so she could remember me and keep me close. It was my favourite."

"And? You don't sound sure."

"Why is it not in any photos? Not once in any of those photos I have from my first few years is there this rabbit. I know…" she handed it to Gus like she couldn't bare to hold it anymore. "…those photos are burned into my memory. I looked at them last night, it's all I did."

"Did you ask her?"

"I did, I told her I don't remember it and she said I loved it and wouldn't go anywhere without it when I was little." Just when Gus thought she couldn't look any more broken she did. "I wanted to believe her and she lied to me, it's all lies, all of it. Isn't it?"

"Probably."

"But then suddenly it hit me, the only person who has never lied to me is you. You could have not told me, you could have not cared." Rhiannon grabbed a cushion and hugged it to her chest. "Did you tell her that you knew? That message yesterday, what was that about?"

"I did. I went to see her and made it very clear that I knew. I didn't tell her what I found out but I told her that she had until the end of the day to tell you or I would. She called my bluff and then when you said you were going away with her I warned her and she told me she was going to tell you. I knew as soon as I saw you that she hadn't, because you were happy and it killed me. I didn't want you going away with her, she's a pathological liar, I didn't know what she was capable of. I couldn't bare to think of what would happen if you found out and I wasn't there to help you."

"But you let me go?"

"I did, because you asked me to trust you and let you work it out. I had to give you a chance." If he could change things he would have. He should have not let her win that battle. "I'm sorry I let you down."

"You didn't. You did what I asked even though I knew how you felt."

"Have you talked to her since last night?"

"No, when I left here I called her and she didn't answer. The next time I called her phone was off, it's now disconnected."

"Rhiannon, Baby. I am so sorry." Resting one hand on her thigh he was grateful she didn't baulk. "Have you talked to your Dad?"

"No. I don't want him to know."

"Okay. I am not sure I understand why?"

"She left him for another man, not some cock and bull mental health issue. She was pregnant. It will break his heart." Rhiannon ran her fingers over his knuckles. "I am not sure I am ready to deal with that yet. Can you give me some time?"

"I am not going to tell your Dad, Baby, that's up to you. I didn't even call him yesterday when I was freaked out about where you had gone. I was out of my mind. I almost put a BOLO out on you."

"I am surprised you didn't."

"If I didn't see you today I would have." Gus liked that he got half a smile. "How about we get away for a couple of days? You can talk, not talk but just get out of Chicago? Polly said we can use the Beach House. Just you and me?"

"You told Polly?"

"No, I just said I wanted to take you away for a few days. She knows how intense things have been for you with your mom coming back, but she doesn't know anything about this."

"Who does know?"

"My Dad, he ran the background check for me."

"So your Mom probably does too?"

"Yep, I'd say so." He could understand why she didn't want people to know, she'd feel embarrassed that she was deceived by this woman. "You know, my parents understand human behaviour, better than most. They'd know why you were desperate for this to be real and they aren't going to think any less of you. I think they are starting to like you more than me anyway."

Rhiannon buried her face in her hands and cried, again. "I wish I had a family like you."

"You do, you do have a family like mine because they want you to be part of it." He just held his hands over hers. "I know it's not that same but give us a chance."

"Can we go away? I don't want to see anyone just yet."

"We can." She just nodded and buried her head in his chest and just tried to breathe.


	8. Push & Pull

The further they got away from Chicago the more Rhiannon felt the knot in her chest loosen. Gus could feel her relax too and she even managed a laugh or two. Gus was telling her about how her Dad used to have conniptions about Polly and Sam coming up here when they were teenagers. He was sure they were using it as a sex den.

"Well why wouldn't they? If that dinner conversation was anything to go by I am guessing Sam was a little eager."

"Oh, he was eager, Polly made him wait though but when Dad found out it was like that dinner but worse. Polly got these awesome lectures about condoms, as did I. He was insane."

"He's such a funny bugger."

"Polly had enough one day and told him that Sam had a frequent shopper card and always ordered the biggest box. It shut him up." Gus laughed at the memory. "Sam was in constant fear for his life."

"What about you? What did he say?"

"I haven't told him yet." He teased her. "I popped my cherry with you."

"Bullshit, no-one gets it that right first time. You've had practice."

"Lucky for you." He winked and ran his hand up her leg. "The Adam rants were epic. Like they should be recorded for prosperity. No one would ever think of going bareback after them."

"I love your Dad."

He pulled off the road and Rhiannon leant forward to look at the house. It was beautiful. Rustic and secluded and perfect if you wanted to get away from the world, which was precisely what they wanted this weekend.

"It's nice here." Rhiannon looked around the house, the large comfortable living area, huge kitchen and a dining table big enough to seat 12. A family table and she felt that tightness in her chest again.

"Yep, peace and quiet, except when the circus is in town. Sam's family isn't all that much better than mine, a little less insane but loud." He dropped their bags in the bedroom. They were using Sam and Polly's room, which was cosy with an inviting looking bed, a window overlooking the dunes and access to a semi-ensuite.

Rhiannon had followed him as he pointed a few things out. "The rules here are you have to make yourself at home. Curl up with a book if you want…" he pointed out the overflowing bookshelf "..I'll light a fire. You can walk around naked, do what you like."

"I am sure people don't wander around naked all the time. I don't get a hippy commune vibe off them."

"No? Don't tell Lola, she loves being naked here or at home." Gus winked. "The naked thing was more for me actually."

"Not surprised."

"You okay?"

Rhiannon ran her hand along the bookshelf, touching the spines of the books feeling them beneath her fingertips, old and new but her mind was elsewhere. "I am happy to be here with you, nothing else matters." They had agreed to turn off their phones for the weekend and just let it all go. How well she did that was yet to be seen because despite insisting that she didn't want to talk to her mother he knew part of her wanted to know why. He admired her determination to put it behind her, at least for the weekend.

"Good to know. So, Lunch?"

It was the last thing she felt like doing, her appetite was non-existent and the only time she ate was if Gus made her something. He was amazingly patient with her despite her still chaotic moods. Telling him she wasn't hungry didn't stop him making her eat just a little bit. Today he'd bought some potato and leek soup his mother had made for him to heat up.

Kim may have had the habit of shutting down and not eating when she was stressed but when someone else was in crisis she was the mother hen of the year. Gus got home from work and the soup was in the fridge waiting for him, along with chocolate chip cookies with macadamias and a pasta sauce and fresh pasta. When Kim had called him to see how Rhiannon was he told her he was taking her away and the food appeared.

She ate a little and he didn't nag. Something was better than nothing. "Can I ask you for something?" She twisted her hands nervously in her lap having set the half eaten bowl of soup back on the table.

"Of course."

"Do you think you can make me forget for a little while?" Was that a blush he saw? "All I feel is that I am unlovable and I want to feel loved…" She diverted her eyes. ".. by you."

"Do you feel unloved by me?"

"No, you are the only person who I believe in right now and who I trust not to hurt me."

"Come here." He beckoned. Apart from a few very chaste kisses Rhiannon had pulled away from him over the past two days, emotionally at least. Physically she had let him hold her when he first found her asleep on his bed and then again in the shower but that was it. He was desperate to be with her for his own selfish needs but he feared she was pulling away from him and didn't trust him. Her pain was real and very evident but he didn't know what else to do to prove to her that he loved her, almost desperately. She crawled closer and was surprised that all he did was slip a hand behind her neck and rub it softly.

"You don't mind?"

"Mind?" He scoffed. "I've been asked strange questions before but I never thought I'd be asked by my insanely beautiful girlfriend who I am head over heels in love with if I mind having sex with her."

"Even if I cry?"

"Then I will wipe away your tears."

"I love you Gus, so much."

Leading her into the bedroom he kissed her watery cheeks. He told her repeatedly how much he loved her and he showed her with everything he had in him. His Dad taught him a lot of things, lectured him about everything and nagged him constantly but he always showed him how to love a woman and if Gus could show Rhiannon how much he loved her, half as much as his Dad loved his Mom she'd be left in no doubt.

He let Rhiannon take her time to move, she was curled into the side of him with her head on his chest and one hand stroked his stomach. "Do you feel loved now?"

"I do." Gus tried to talk to her about how she was coping but she asked that they keep the bed her safe place. A place where she didn't feel like her world was crumbling, where she didn't have to think or make decisions and a place where she could hide from her pain. Gus agreed to give her that.

Even after they went home if Gus found her lying in their bed he never asked he just made sure she knew how loved she was.

It was probably why she wanted to stay in bed all weekend. "Nope." Gus jumped up and pulled her out of bed. "You and I have a date with a bottle of red, the couch and a fire."

"Are you trying to seduce me?"

"Of course." He threw her his signature Ruzek smile and disappeared from the bedroom wearing just a pair of jeans and pulling a t-shirt over his head, sadly covering his impressive body completely and he was definitely sporting bed hair, which she wanted to run her hands through again. He looked comfortable and distractingly hot and full of swagger.

He was crouched by the fire, trying to light it when Rhiannon came out, dressed in loose pair of jeans and one of his plaid shirts. "Oh you start fires too?" She ran her hand over his shoulders.

"I hunt, I gather, I keep my woman warm."

While he was getting the fire going Rhiannon poured them some wine. He wanted her to come sit with him but she crossed her legs and faced him and he got the impression she wanted to talk. He did find it strange that when Rhiannon wanted to talk she didn't want contact with him. At some point he was going to ask her why, but not right now he wanted to hear what she was thinking.

Rhiannon got straight into it. She'd thought about this a lot since she first read that file. "You said that there was a kidney problem with a baby. Do you think that's why she came back? That she needs me for some donation or something?"

"It makes sense."

"Like a kidney?"

"I don't know, it's a possibility I suppose, but it might not be that extreme, maybe it's blood or something." He firmly believed that was the sole reason her mother came back. "I think that is why she came back, I don't think it was because she wanted any kind of relationship with you."

"That hurts."

"Sorry. I don't want to lie to you. I didn't mean to hurt you."

She suddenly changed tack and her eyes narrowed a little. "No, they why do you?"

"Hurt you?" Gus took a mouthful of his wine. He swallowed the first response on his tongue. He wanted to tell her that it was unfair to put this on him. He did nothing wrong, rather than tell her that thought he needed to make her understand it. "You know, I talked to my Dad and asked him what to do about this stupid fucking file he dumped on my lap. Even when I asked him to do it I really wanted it to be exactly the way she said it was. He told me, when it was obvious it wasn't that I had three choice, tell you, tell her I knew and let her tell you or ignore it."

"Why didn't you ignore it?"

"Not an option." He was adamant; that was never an option for him. "I knew I was going to hurt you, I know you are going to be angry with me and you know what I even thought that perhaps I'd destroy our relationship but I did the right thing."

"You were willing to lose me?" Rhiannon was surprised and confused by that.

"Yes, because I could live with myself if I stopped you getting hurt, even if I lost you but I couldn't live with myself if I let you get hurt."

"I don't know what to say to that." Rhiannon grabbed a handful of her hair and twisted it around her hand and tucked it into the collar of her shirt. "I am not sure I like that you were so willing to give up on us."

"I never said I was willing to give up on us. I said I wanted to protect you, and stop you from getting hurt but if you decided that I'd gone too far I'd respect your wishes because I only want what's best for you." Gus knew it wasn't making much sense. "It would kill me, but I am not an asshole. I'll walk away if you want me too."

"I don't want you to walk away."

"Good."

"But you said you didn't want me to get hurt, yet you hurt me."

"I did, I know I did and I hate that but I am not sorry because you look me in the eye and tell me what would have hurt more? Finding out now that your mother wasn't who you thought she was, that she was lying to you, that she abandoned you and barely 5 months later she replaced you with a daughter who she actually loved." It was a low blow. "or finding out months later when you were in so deep that it destroyed you like it did when you were six years old?"

She stared at him, it was more like a glare and he didn't flinch and the pain was more than evident on her face and the silence was awkward. The fire crackled relentlessly, popping and hissing and throwing out warmth that couldn't extinguish the iciness that enveloped the room. "It still hurt."

"I know and I am sorry for that." His voice trembled. "I don't want to lose you."

"Gus, I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"Ending up alone." Her hands were shaking. "Of not having you around, of not being loved by you."

"Not happening." Leaning over and grabbing her hand briefly he squeezed it and then let it go. "Can I ask you something? I know you might not know the answer but I do know you will have been thinking about it."

He waited until she nodded. "If your mother does come back and asks you to do something, take a test, donate a kidney for your half sister's baby what would you do?"

"I have no idea."

"Have you thought about it?"

"Yes." There was some hesitation. "What would you do?"

Gus was quick to answer. "For Lola? Anything humanly possible."

"For a stranger?"

"Harder to answer." Gus jumped up and put another log on the fire and topped up his wine glass. "Honestly I am not sure I would risk my own future for someone I didn't know, it would depend on what the ask was, but for Lola I am sure I'd go a lot further."

Rhiannon crawled over to him and lay against his chest and he realised that it was done for now. It was the way it had to be right now so he dropped it. "You know I've always had this fantasy…" the subtle shift he felt told him she was smiling. "…wintery night, an open fire place, red wine and a beautiful woman."

She wiggled back a little and looked up at him. "And what would you do if say, if three of those things fell into place?"

"Four, four things…" Gus sat up and whispered in her ear. "Let me show you."

Gus propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at her, her eyes were closed but she didn't look tortured and that was a relief. Running a finger along her collarbone, he loved the feeling of her soft skin beneath his touch and saw her shiver. "Are you cold?"

"No." Regardless he grabbed the rug off the couch and pulled it over her and tucked it around his waist. "Can you tell me something about you, about you growing up?"

"Sure. What do you want to know?"

"Something that you've never told anyone."

"Ahhh…." He thought for a moment. "When I was fourteen I was admitted to hospital for alcohol poisoning."

"Really?"

"Yep. I went to a party and was trying to impress a girl and this guy baited me into doing shots. I was such a loser. Mom and Dad had to come to the hospital to pick me up after the cops found me and sent me in an Ambo. I have never spewed so much in my whole life."

"I feel like this is a well known story." Rhiannon smiled just a little.

"It is, but the real reason I drank was I was scared."

"Of what?"

"Of Polly killing herself."

Rhiannon sat up quickly. "What? Polly?"

"Polly's best friend had just killed herself because she had been repeatedly raped by her mother's boyfriend. It all came out when Abbey sent Polly a message late one night, it was basically a suicide note. Abbey had run off the rails big time and dragged Polly into it, she'd just started seeing Sam and then they broke up because of the rape or something. Polly was a nightmare, she hated my Dad for a while and was just a bitch to live with. This guy also had photos of Polly, nothing bad and he didn't touch her but Abbey was okay for a while, well not okay but she tried. She eventually went to live with her Dad in New York and Mom and Dad took us there one weekend so Polly could see Abbey. A week later she committed suicide and Polly was a mess. She was back with Sam by this stage." It all poured out of Gus. He'd never really talked about that few months with anyone other than Polly and his parents. "Anyway, I freaked out and thought Polly was going to kill herself too so I tried to block it out that night. I wanted to protect my sister and I couldn't do anything. I hated seeing her so hurt and upset and not being able to do anything. It was fucked."

"Wow."

"I told my Dad how I felt, I kinda burst into tears that morning Abbey died and blurted it out and he kept it from my Mom but after that night it came out. It broke Mom's heart, Polly hated it and made sure I knew that she wasn't going anywhere. I don't think I could survive without my family."

He saw the little flash of pain flit across her face and regretted it.

"I think your family is amazing."

"I think they are too and I know how lucky I am. I wish you had that growing up and I want you to have that now. Stay with me. Move in with me, be part of my family."

"Gus…" she started to protest then stopped, reached up and wiped away an unexpected tear that squeezed out of the corner of his eye.

"Don't say it's too soon, don't say you are not sure. Don't say anything." He got nervous and started rambling. Even to him it was surprise, he wasn't planning on any of this. "Just think about it, we spend most nights together, you've got free reign of my place, you have your own key, your own drawers. Half my wardrobe is full of your stuff…."

"Gus…' he put her hand over his mouth to stop him talking. "I love you and I want to live with you."

"Yeah?"

"Yes."

While they had both agreed that it was a phone free weekend Rhiannon insisted that he turn his phone on in the morning so he could have his usual Sunday morning call with Lola. That little girl lived for her chats with Bus and it was something that Rhiannon had always loved about them. It was early on in their relationship that she first heard it and even then something about Gus was getting to her. She was intrigued and, to be honest a little besotted by him.

Lola didn't let her down. His phone rang with his sister's name and he smiled as her little voice popped up on the speaker. "Bus." Gus smiled at her and liked how happy she looked.

"Hey Lola Bear. I've missed you."

"You at beach?"

"I am, with 'Nannon too."

"You swim?"

"It's too cold Lola Bear."

"You come for dinner?"

"Not today Bear." He didn't expect her to burst into tears. Usually she just accepted that he was working and told him she missed him, made him feel like shit and then moved on. "Lola Bear don't cry sweetie."

"I miss Bus. You come for dinner Bus, you come for dinner." She begged him and he felt his resolve weakening. They hadn't planned on leaving until early tomorrow morning. Gus wanted to spend as much time here as possible and it was too soon for Rhiannon to go to dinner. She wasn't ready to face his parents knowing that they knew what had gone on. She needed time and Gus wasn't prepared to go to dinner and leave her either. Not yet. Going back to Chicago meant one thing was going to happen; she was going to turn on her phone and hope for a call or message, the same time as dreading that phone call or message.

"I can't sweetie, not tonight."

"No, 'Nannon come?"

"Not tonight. Buss needs to take care of her."

"She sicked?"

"No, just a little sad."

"You cuddle her?" Lola asked sadly. "I like cuddle."

"I am. I love you Lola Bear."

"I love 'Nannon too Bus." He looked up at Rhiannon and he could see the tears fill her eyes he thought it was beautiful. Lola adored her, she had taken to Rhiannon almost instantly and that had certainly been a big relief for Gus, especially after his last disastrous girlfriend.

"See." Gus hung up the phone after promising to come and see Lola tomorrow and bringing her a present. She drove a hard bargain. "You are not unlovable or unloved."


	9. Family Ties

"So?" Gus looked at Rhiannon from the corner of his eye as they drove. They had both decided, without actually discussing it with each other to stop talking about her problems with her 'mother' for the rest of the time they had alone but now they were heading home and he needed to know what was next. "What are you going to do now?"

"Move in with you." She smiled and her face lit up. Ever since that had been decided she looked happy and Gus was ecstatic, he couldn't wait.

"Yay. That means we can have sex like literally every day."

"Is that why you want me to live with you?"

"Well duh."

"You're funny."

She slid her hand up his thigh and he sucked in a deep breath when her hand settled over his junk, which she had to admit, impressed her when it was concealed and even more when it wasn't. It wasn't pretty, they never were but she was a little bit obsessed with it. "Don't start this?"

"What?"

"Something you have no intention of finishing."

"I could, like just rest my head for a bit."

"Cheeky bitch." As much as Gus would have loved to get some action as he was driving, it wasn't particularly safe and he could imagine getting pulled over and having to talk his way out of that. CPD had the loosest lips and rumours and gossip was like wildfires, it spread at the speed of light.

"Okay, so you don't want…."

"Stop." He grabbed her hand and removed it. It was painful enough already. "But when we get home, Baby you owe me."

Rhiannon got serious. "I think I need to talk to my Dad."

"Tonight?"

"No, tomorrow is soon enough. I don't want to ruin my buzz. I've really enjoyed this weekend. Thank you."

"My pleasure, and it was my pleasure. More than once." He winked. "Do you want me to come with you?"

"It's okay. You've seen enough of my blubbering."

"Lucky you are beautiful when you cry." He wanted to go but there were some things he had to trust her to handle herself. Wrapping her up in cotton wool wasn't the answer. Rhiannon had told him that Margaret had warned her about him being controlling and possessive. It was all a ploy he suspected to unsettle them because she knew Gus was on to her, Rhiannon assured him she didn't think he was like that at all but nonetheless he tried to take a step back when he just wanted to jump in.

Gus wasn't surprised when Rhiannon turned her phone back on and apart from messages from her Dad, her best friend and a work colleague she hadn't heard from her 'mother'. Rhiannon was disappointed though, he didn't know what she expected or what she'd do if there was something but it bought it all back after a weekend of trying really hard to put it behind her. He knew she wasn't that far along though, it was too soon and too raw to let it go just yet.

"I guess I need to accept it." She shrugged when Gus asked her if she was okay. The tears bubbling along her lower lids were a dead give-away.

"It's okay Babe. If you cry, I'll make you happy." He picked her up, threw her over his shoulder and took her to bed. "Let me make you happy?" Gus was a lot bigger and stronger than Rhiannon. She was petite and Gus had his Dad's tall solid build. Not that Adam was as fit looking as he used to be, age was catching up with him but Gus had always kept himself fit, even if his knees eventually put an end to his sporting career.

Despite that Rhiannon knew how to take control and Gus was a push over. He knew how to turn her on but Rhiannon wasn't a wallflower either and right now he was happy to lie back on bed and let this incredible woman have his way with him.

Gus groaned when his alarm went off. Rhiannon was sound asleep beside him and for the past two nights she had slept solidly. He couldn't imagine not being here for her right now, she sought him out at every opportunity and if he rolled away in the middle of the night it wasn't long before she had wiggled her way back over to him.

Gus rolled over, wrapping himself around his sleeping beauty. She was warm and soft and shifted a little to mould herself into him. "Good Morning." he kissed the back of her neck.

"I think I am getting used to this." Rhiannon mumbled sleepily. It took her forever to wake up in the mornings; this woman was so far from a morning person it wasn't funny. Gus usually got up and went for a run early but this naked woman was far too tempting today, particularly with the cold wind blowing outside and the snow that started to dump last night.

"This?" He pushed his hips into her back and she could feel his body's reaction. Hardly and unusual or unexpected move by him when he had the time.

"One of the things I like yes." She rolled over and accepted a good morning kiss. "Do you have to go to work today?"

"Ahhh, yes."

"Okay." Rhiannon had taken a couple of weeks leave. Her head wasn't in the right headspace to deal with people at the moment.

"What are you going to do?"

"I thought I might start looking for places for us to live." They had decided on a fresh start, a new place to start making the rest of their lives in. Gus could rent this place out easy enough and with Rhiannon's contacts they could find somewhere pretty quickly. "I'll pull together a list for us to look at."

"Perfect." Gus reluctantly hauled his ass out of bed and into the shower.

"I'm going to see Dad today." Rhiannon was in the kitchen making him a coffee when he came out dressed ready to go.

"I wish you'd wait for me."

"No, Gus. I need to do this myself." Handing him his coffee, Gus grabbed a bagel and gave her a quick kiss and hug. He was running late and would need to hightail it to get to work on time.

"I like this already. You being here."

Rhiannon felt safer here with Gus and barely went back to her place. Gradually her things made their way over to his place and she gave up her lease pretty quickly when she found a friend who was looking for some place. Her stuff was put into storage until they found somewhere to live.

"Hi Kim." Rhiannon had been nervous about coming to dinner. She hadn't seen anyone in a few weeks but she knew that Gus had filled his parents in at least about what had gone down. He had also convinced her that she needed to stop hiding; that they didn't care about anything other than how she was feeling and coping. They wanted to see her, Kim had even offered to take her out to lunch one day just to get it over and done with.

"Rhiannon, sweetheart." Kim dropped the potato's she was washing in the sink and wiped her hands on a towel before pulling her in for a hug. "It's nice to see you, we've missed you."

"Thank you." Her voice wobbled a little and Kim just squeezed her hand and went back to preparing the vegetables for Adam to cook on his monster new outdoor kitchen. He was like a kid on Christmas morning with that thing. "I see Adam is in his element. He's bailed Gus up already."

"I think he's fretted and fussed over that more than he ever did me when I was in labour." Kim laughed. "And trust me he was a pain in the ass then."

"Well he's got Gus's undivided attention."

"How are you?"

"I am okay. I'm doing okay."

"That's good. We were worried about you."

"I know you were and thank you." Rhiannon looked like she wanted to burst into tears as she sucked on her bottom lip and took a deep breath. "Kim…" she started slowly. "…I just want you to know that Gus has been so wonderful throughout all this. He's been amazing. Thank you for raising such a beautiful man, you should be proud of him."

Rhiannon held it together but Kim didn't. She always lost it when people talked about how great her two children were. They had worked hard, it wasn't always easy and they often worried if they had done the right things by them sometimes so hearing someone tell them that they had done good was always emotional for Kim.

"We are so proud of him. He really did want to help you. I know he sought out his Dad quite often for advice and help. Adam may be a complete idiot most of the time but when he needs to be an amazing Dad and human he never fails and Gus knew that and appreciated his help. Gus wanted to do everything possible to help you and he's so much like his Dad in that regard. Gus was so upset that you were going to get hurt. Adam and I were as well."

"I know. Gus never let me down, he's the only person I could trust to tell me the truth. I asked him to be on my side and he always was, it wasn't always easy for him though."

"I know it wasn't easy for him, but all he was worried about was how hard it was for you but I am glad he was there for you. He never once thought about not being there for you and trying to do what was best for you. You know in the past I don't think he would have been able to cope."

"He told me he didn't cope well with Polly when she had that terrible time with her friend."

"He was a little boy then."

"He's a wonderful man now, I love him."

"I can see that and I know he loves you."

"He does."

"Welcome to our family Rhiannon, we love having you around. We love how much you love our son." Kim hugged her for the longest time. It was an amazing feeling for Rhiannon to have the comforting hug of a mother. It wasn't her mother but she could still feel it and appreciate it.

Adam had been a little more low-key when they arrived. "Ahh…about time someone got here to see my new baby." He was polishing the lid of his new barbecue. "Your mother is 'over it' apparently." He actually used air quotes. "Rhiannon, good to see you. You pretty up my son so much." He gave her a quick hug. Kim had warned him not to go over the top; Gus had already told his mother that she was reluctant to come if it was going to be some big Spanish inquisition.

"It will not be the Spanish inquisition." Kim was slightly miffed. "Angus we do know how to behave."

"I just don't want a big deal made of it, that's all. She's nervous and remember Polly and Sam don't know the whole story." Gus had even gone as far as texting Polly and telling her not to bring up her mother unless Rhiannon did.

"Can I help?" Rhiannon was keen to get away from the conversation. She had wanted to thank Kim and let her know how wonderful Gus had been but she didn't want to talk about her mother and gratefully Kim handed her some sweet potato to cut up.

Her meeting with her Dad had been ugly to say the least.

Rhiannon was angry with him for telling her to forgive her mother. She let him have both barrels and all her pent up anger landed squarely on her father's doorstep. He still tried to rationalise her behaviour. They'd said some ugly words to each other and Rhiannon felt let down by him and needed to distance herself from him for a while.

"How's Rhiannon?" Adam wiped over his new bench. He was so in love with his outdoor kitchen, it had been a dream of his for such a long time. Kim finally relented and they had it built in, a new roof put on over the kitchen and she had to admit, Adam did love cooking outside and he was always looking for new recipes to try out and that she was hoping would continue for a long time. Gus grabbed them both a beer from the fridge and sat down while his Dad continued his love fest.

"She's doing okay. It's still rough some days but we are getting there."

"It's good to see her."

"We are moving in together." Gus announced. "She kind of already has."

"Which is a surprise to no-one."

"When you know, you know right?"

"That you do." He smiled when Rhiannon came out, a glass of wine in her hand and a tray of potatoes in the other, handing them to Adam. Adam loved the look on Gus's face as he watched her, his son was in love finally. He'd met his match. "Hey, Mom let you out of the kitchen?"

"She did, she'll be out soon."

Adam spent the next few minutes explaining the ins and outs of his new kitchen to Rhiannon who did her best to appear interested until she breathed a sigh of relief when fresh meat turned up in the form of Sam, Polly and Lola.

Lola couldn't give a damn about his kitchen, she was happy to see Bus and tell him about her new boots which she had picked herself and would apparently wear them to bed given half the chance. There was little chance to dwell on Rhiannon's issues when Lola Bear held the floor.

Dinner wasn't as crazy as it could be. Sam was in the middle of hiring interns at the moment and had been interviewing all week and it was exhausting. He had some very entertaining stories of how people turned up for interviews and the over confidence of one particular candidate who told Sam exactly what he would change about the current breeding program he was running. Surprising for someone straight out of college.

Polly had frowned earlier when Sam came home whinging about some 'hotted up' young thing who thought suitable attire for an interview was some half cross between hot pants and a skirt, uncomfortably high shoes and more boobs than he thought was possible. "And if she wore that amount of perfume to work each day we'd never need to use sedation on the animals." Polly wasn't impressed; she couldn't stop herself letting a little bit of the green-eyed monster out when women flirted with her husband. Sam never gave them a second glance though but a little bit of jealousy never hurt any relationship.

Somehow everyone had disappeared. Polly was bathing Lola who had managed to spill dinner all over herself including getting it in her hair and Kim was getting some clean clothes for her. Adam had teased her long and hard about how they seemed to have just as many clothes here for Lola as they did for Polly when she was growing up. Gus and Sam were doing dishes so Rhiannon found herself alone with Adam.

He dropped down on the couch beside her. "You know, I used to do this with Polly all the time. Still do sometimes."

"What avoid the dishes?"

"Well yes, but No, sit and talk. She would come down when she was little and sit up with me, we'd cuddle and then as she got older we'd talk about anything or everything."

"I can imagine."

"She used to talk to me about Sam and it was a constant struggle for me not to completely freak out."

Adam just sat quietly and waited. It was up to Rhiannon to talk to him or not, he just wanted her to know that it was okay.

"I know you did the background check."

"I did. I didn't want it turn out the way it did."

"Why do you think she did all that?"

"Leave?" Adam's calm considered replies relaxed Rhiannon.

"Yeah. I don't understand why?"

"I am not sure you ever really will. Are you okay with that?"

"No, no I am not, not right now but I will be."

"Oh Sweetheart, you are doing great." He slipped his arm around her shoulder. Rhiannon appreciated his comforting hug. Apart from Gus, she hadn't had a lot of physical support. Things with her Dad were still tense and Gus, and her best friend Aubrey where the only people who had offered her that kind of support. "This is huge, it's a huge thing to have to deal with. You do what you need to do."

"I thought I was doing the right thing, giving her a chance to explain. I feel like a fool."

"Fool? What for? For wanting the love of your mother? That's not being foolish Sweetheart, that's being human. I'd actually worry more if you didn't feel like this."

She rested her head on his shoulder and Adam kissed the top of her head but they said nothing. Gus had watched it from the kitchen and decided to let it go. He knew how much Polly loved those moments with their Dad and how much it helped her deal with all the shit that had been thrown their way at various times. He was also always there for the good moments too.

It was over quickly when Lola came charging down the stairs, but it meant the world to both Rhiannon and to Gus. "You like my new pyjama's Pops? It's got rabbits." She did a little dance in front of them.

"Where did they come from?"

"MiMi bought them."

"Of course she did. Your MiMi is going to send Pops broke." He poked her little tummy. "Why do the runny babbits look like they have boobies?" It was bizarre, he was sure they were meant to be paws but looked like boobs and now that he'd said it out loud you couldn't un-see it.

"Not boobies Pops. They rabbits."

"Runny babbits."

"You silly Pops." She rolled her eyes dramatically. "Dance Pops?" She tugged on Adam's hand and he was always happy to oblige only this time he pulled Rhiannon up with him. He saw her wipe away a tear, squeezed her hand and winked at her as she pushed on and lost herself in Lola's dancing.

"Come here." Adam demanded as soon as everyone left and Kim happily obliged. He had poured them a nightcap, like he did every Sunday night. He patted the couch beside him and lifted his arm to let Kim snuggle up next to him. "I think Gus is a little bit whipped."

"Don't be crude."

"Okay, he's in love."

"He is, luckily it seems to be a two way street."

"She does seem to love him too. He looks happy." Adam took a sip of his bourbon. "Well happy to be with her, not happy about all the shit she's going through."

Kim wiggled around as Adam grabbed a cushion and put it in his lap for her to rest her head on. "It's beautiful."

"Beautiful? Steady on." He ran a finger down her nose. "You are though, you are beautiful."

"Adam, it's Sunday night. You always get your wish, you don't need to sweet talk me. I will let you get your freak on."

"You accuse me of not being romantic. I am trying to romance you and you just want my dick." Adam tried to sound offended but he couldn't so he laughed instead. They both loved Sunday nights, it was the most perfect night of the week. They got to spend time with their kids and their granddaughter and then they enjoyed each other's company.

"Yes I do. I like it, I always have."

"I feel used."

"You love it." She pushed her hand away as he tried to get it down her top.

"Yes I do." Adam leant down and whispered in her ear. "Let me screw you?" She never even got the chance to respond before he'd captured her lips in a fierce kiss, the taste of bourbon on both of their tongues. It was just the way they liked it, passionate, loving and all consuming. They had a love that lasted a lifetime.

She was quiet all the way home and Gus let her go but as soon as they stepped inside his apartment she covered her face with her hands and couldn't hold it in anymore. "Babe, what's wrong? I thought you had a nice time. Did someone say something to upset you?" he panicked and racked his brains to try and figure it out. It had gone well or so he thought, even when she was talking to his Dad it didn't seem like Rhiannon minded.

"No, no they didn't. They were lovely."

"Obviously, that is why you are crying."

"I am just overwhelmed."

"It was too much?"

"No, I loved it. It's stupid…" she waved him away, wiping her face with her sleeve. "..I am just being stupid."

Gus didn't give up that easily though as he wrapped his arms around her neck and pulled her back against him. "Bullshit. It's not stupid, you are not being stupid."

"I wish that was my family."

"One day they will be."

"Don't Gus, don't say that. It's too soon."

"Okay, sorry." He was a little taken aback. One that he was already thinking of his future with her and two that Rhiannon seemed to freak out about it. He let go. "Okay."

"Don't walk away Gus."

"I get it Rhiannon. You are not there yet, it's fine."

"Are you?"

"Perhaps." He shrugged. He had put his walls up; she'd seen it before. Gus didn't like being told to back off. He did everything at his pace and when he was pulled up he acted like a puppy that had been whacked on the nose.

"Can I get through this crisis first?"

"I can only imagine how terrible it must be thinking that I want to be with you."

"It's not terrible, but worrying about you leaving me alone is." Rhiannon was desperate to make him understand. "I have never been loved like this before."

"I've never loved anyone like I love you either and I am not going anywhere. I'm here, I've always been here."

"Can we not fight about this please?"

"Fine." He threw himself on the couch and grabbed the remote, flicking it on and spending a few minutes channel surfing until he found a football game to watch and she stood and watched him for and it was frustrating that he ignored her. She'd hurt his feelings, it wasn't hard to get Gus to talk about his feelings but if you put him to the sword he would shut down and he was doing that right now. It had been a very one-sided relationship lately, Gus had done all the heavy lifting and had told her he loved her first, he pulled her along with him when she struggled with everything going on around her and she had to stop pushing him away.

"Angus…." He rolled his head back slowly and looked at her. "I love you."

"Love you too Babe."

"Gus, come have a shower please. With me." Flicking off the TV he quickly turned off the lights and followed her into the bathroom. Rhiannon stood on tiptoes and kissed him softly. He was still a little tense and it was up to her to do the work. "I had a wonderful time tonight, but my favourite part was when you said you can see a future with me. I want that."

"Good to know."

"Angus…" she slid her hands down his chest and started unbuttoning his shirt, running her hands over his bare chest and pushing it off his shoulders. "…can we agree that tonight is the start of forever?"

"No, my forever with you started a long time ago."


	10. Closing the Book

Gus found her sitting on the balcony with a glass of bourbon in her hand. That was enough of a red flag. And then she looked at him and the puffy red face propelled him across the small balcony as she dissolved into a puddle of tears. "Babe, what's wrong? What happened?"

This meant one thing, and only one thing. It wasn't hard to jump to the conclusion that this had something to do with her 'mother'. They hadn't heard from her in almost three months and that wasn't a bad thing because Rhiannon put it behind her and they got on with living. Something had to bring her crashing down though and he was pretty sure he knew what it was.

She had found them a place to live, not far from where Gus already lived. It was two bedrooms, hard ward floors, a small balcony overlooking a park where they often took Lola and while the living area was a little small, they both loved the kitchen. Choosing between his furniture and hers had been entertaining to say the least and Rhiannon won most of the arguments. They loved living together; it was easy. The ups and downs were still there but they enjoyed being together and worked on the rest.

"I got a phone call today, from my half brother."

"Really?"

"He just found out about me and told me to back off."

"Back off from what?"

"From threatening his family, that I wouldn't win. That I am not getting any money from them."

"This makes no sense." Gus was confused. Rhiannon hadn't ever mentioned anything about money; she didn't want money. This was never about that, not for her and as far as he was aware Margaret or Louise or whatever the fuck her name had never bought money into it. For Rhiannon it was always just about being with her mother and trying to understand why she left. He also knew that she hadn't made any attempt at contact since all the shit went down.

"Why can't they leave me alone? What did I do to them?" She swallowed the rest of her bourbon and held out her glass for another. Gus reached for the bottle that she had left on the table and topped up her glass. He took it from her hand and took a mouthful himself. "I didn't ask for any of this."

"No, no you didn't. Let me check it out."

"I don't know Gus, I just want this to go away."

"Me too."

His heart was in this throat when she looked at him and begged him to make this go away. He made her promise just to let him handle it and not ask questions. It was a little confronting for her and her mind spun off in different directions. She had a fair idea of when went on, not necessarily with Gus and being on Patrol but she knew enough about what his Dad did and had done in the past to understand that the less she knew the better. "Don't do anything illegal Gus, please."

"I am not. I'll just make some calls, do some digging and find out what the deal is. That's all." Gus tried to reassure her but all the assurance she needed was that he was here and they had a bottle of bourbon. He wasn't sure it was a smart move but it was Rhiannon's choice and he just made sure she didn't get completely wasted and helped her into bed before it got too ugly.

She didn't actually bound out of bed the next day but by the time lunchtime rolled around Rhiannon was feeling better and she needed to get out of the house and have some fun. She wanted to go Ice-skating and it wasn't Gus's first choice of activities but he went anyway and spent a far portion of the afternoon on his ass. Rhiannon was a serious ice-skater; he gave up Ice Hockey because he lacked any real sense of co-ordination when he was barely in double figures. Adam had been gutted when Kim finally made him admit that Gus wasn't going to the NHL. They had a lot of laughs, mainly at his expense and then a raucous dinner at a hole in the wall pub not far from home and then spent the night 'fucking like rabbits.'

It was needed, because in the next few days reality hit them when Gus called in a favour. She knew as soon as he walked through the door and looked anxious that he'd got the news she never wanted.

"Just tell me."

"There is nothing to tell. They are not rich; there is no money. I have no idea what it's about."

Rhiannon threw up her hands; she may as well hear what he had to say because he had something to add. "So, what?"

"My opinion?" Rhiannon nodded and he continued, not that he treaded carefully and she didn't expect him to either, that was not who Gus was. "He somehow found out about you and confronted his mother and she had to cover her tracks. So she made up some cock and bull story that you were trying to extort money from the family. It was never about you, she wanted something from you and didn't get the chance to get it so now she just wants you to go away."

"This is all so fucked." Rhiannon had accepted the fact that her mother didn't have one single maternal feeling for her.

"Yep, pretty much. What do you want to do?"

She tilted her head to the side and smiled a sweet little smile. "Sex I think."

Gus laughed. "Right." He welcomed her climbing into his lap. They clawed at each other's clothes, tossing them aside and Gus eased himself back and enjoyed the show. He loved the way her eyes closed when she lowered herself onto him, the way she sucked on her bottom lip when he rocked her hips with his fingers digging into her waist and that sweet little smile when they were done.

It wasn't until they were dressed that Rhiannon bought it up again. "What do you think I should do?"

"Not my place."

"I know that, but I care about what you think." He had an opinion, he always did. Right now he was just too satisfied with the past hours activities to care. "You can't pick and choose when to give your opinion. That's not how this works."

"Okay. I think you should let it go."

"Why?"

"Because, for the same reason I've always had. I don't want you to get hurt. I don't give a flying fuck about anyone else, I don't give a flying fuck what she told her family or what they think. I couldn't give a fat rat's clacker about this woman who just happened to give birth to you. I don't want you to get hurt. That's all."

"It's not that easy though is it?"

"No, no it's not. I wish it was." He rubbed her upper arms and kissed her forehead, letting his lips linger for a few seconds. "What do you want to do now?"

"Forget it ever happened." Rhiannon straightened herself up, got a steely look in her eye and told him in no uncertain terms where she was at. "She was an egg donor and an incubator, she's not a mother, she's not my mother."

"You rock."

"I want to tell her that, to her face. Can you come with me?"

"Do you really want to do that? Like honestly, what is it going to achieve? What do you want to achieve?"

"I want to look her in the eye and tell her that she is nothing more than a cold heartless bitch. That she will get nothing from me ever and that as far as I am concerned my 'mother' died when I was six years old." Rhiannon had a very determined look on her face. "I need to be bitter and vindictive and then we can come back here and forget about the whole fucking nightmare and get one with whatever we've got going on here."

"Firstly, I hope we've got a lot going on for a long time. Secondly…" Gus needed to tread carefully, not something he was used to doing. "…I am not sure you need to be bitter and vindictive, that's not you. That's not what is either your nature or your heart."

"Why should she get away with it? Why does she get to hurt me again and again and just walk away and pretend I don't even exist?"

"I get that, I really do but just think about it please." It didn't seem rational or in her nature to deliberately hurt people. He did understand that Rhiannon was hurting and felt that it wasn't fair, and it wasn't but he really didn't think she'd feel good about causing problems with her mother and her family, not in the long run.

"What do you think I am doing? It's all I have done."

"I know. Can I ask that you sleep on it, just a couple of days? Let the sting come out of it." Rhiannon reluctantly agreed. It's what Gus did; he bought her back from the edge. Although he had to admit he'd love to see her go postal on this woman. It would be epic and no doubt very hot.

Rhiannon didn't relent. She had to do it; she needed the closure. Everyone tried to talk her out of it, her father, Gus, Polly and Adam but she dug her heels in. When they realised that she wasn't going to back down the only thing Gus insisted was that he would go with her.

"Can we not talk about it for a while?" They had just settled into their seats on the plane. "I need a break." Rhiannon just wanted to put her headphones on and shut out everything for a few hours. She had barely slept all night and they had been up early to catch the flight to Raleigh. It had been all she had thought about for days and now it just needed to be over.

"You can't be here." Margaret snarled at her once she got over the shock of seeing Rhiannon on her doorstep. She stepped outside and closed the door behind her.

"Why not?"

"This is my home. My family." She was obviously trying to keep her voice low so as not to disturb the people inside.

"Yet you turned up at my house, you didn't know if I had a family. You didn't care."

"You don't."

That got Rhiannon's back up and Gus could see her grow just a little. He was bloody impressed by her. "I did, I have Gus. You didn't give a damn about that, just like I don't give a damn about your family."

"What do you want?"

"To tell you that whatever game you are playing is done. I don't have a mother, you may as well be dead. I don't care what your reason was, I don't care if your family needs something from me, they aren't getting it. Keep your family away from me."

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Your son rang me and threatened me told me to stay away and that I wasn't going to get any money. So I guess he found out and you had to lie to him too. You are a lying conniving bitch, get out of my life." Rhiannon was barely in control. She looked like she was about to pop a gasket.

Suddenly the door opened and she came face to face with a girl who bore a striking resemblance to her. "You okay Mom?" She held a baby on her hip and Gus rested his hand on Rhiannon's back as she staggered at little.

"Yes, sweetie. They were leaving, they have the wrong address."

"Actually, Mother." Rhiannon snarled. "We don't have the wrong address but you messed with the wrong person. Stay away from me, stay out of my life and if you contact me again, or your family does I will have you arrested."

"Who the hell do you think you are?" The girl they assumed was Rachel gasped.

"Doesn't matter. I am nobody to you…" She turned to face her 'mother.' "And you Margaret, I am nobody to you either. You were an egg donor and an incubator and nothing more. Leave me the fuck alone."

"Why is she calling you Margaret?" It appeared that while her son may have none about Rhiannon, her daughter did not.

"Because that was her name before she up and left me when I was six years old with my father, but I guess she never told you that. Perhaps you might want to sit and have a chat with _your_ mother. What she tells you is her business, but don't come near me again. You understand."

"You want to get her out of her before I call the cops?" Margaret spat at Gus, who had stood quietly just waiting to catch Rhiannon if she fell.

"Call them, I'll talk to them." He stood between Margaret and Rhiannon. "I dare you. We are done, okay? Completely done. Don't contact Rhiannon again, don't hang out outside her apartment, call her, have your family call her, harass her and even talk about her. You are done. I may not have any jurisdiction here but the badge is mightier than you think." He led Rhiannon back to the car and by the time they got back to the car Margaret had gone back inside and closed the door.

She was catatonic as he drove back to the hotel and hadn't said a word or even shed a tear.

"Okay." Gus got her inside. "Talk to me. Please."

"It's okay Gus. It's okay. I am fine." Rhiannon stood at the window and looked out over the unknown city below her. She could get lost out there, perhaps she already was.

"Bullshit, you aren't fine and that's okay. It's okay to not be fine."

"I know that, but really Gus, it's fine." She didn't even turn to look at him. "I came to do what I did, it's over now. I might take a shower." Gus reached for her hand as she tried to get past and the briefest look of agony in her eyes almost floored him.

But he knew what she needed right now. "I love you, you know."

"I do and I am grateful that I have you here with me right now." She stopped when she got to the door to the bathroom but didn't look back. "Are you going to stay?" She wasn't just asking about now, she was asking about next week, month, year.

"Yes."

He sat and waited on the bed, something he didn't do well. He wanted to be in there with her but giving her some space was one thing he was trying to learn. Trying not to be a Ruzek was a challenge, serve and protect was what he had been born to do and right now he was sitting on his hands while the one person he wanted to protect more than anything was falling apart.

Knowing that she kept the bed, any bed as a safe haven Gus was surprised when she came out and sat on the small couch by the window. He knew, in an instant that she was asking for his help, his shelter, his safety and he leapt up and the moment he touched her she crumbled.

"Oh Baby." He whispered against her hair as she buried her head into his chest and sobbed, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt and he could feel her agony. They stayed there for god knows how long; the room had started to darken a little as the evening approached but Gus wasn't going to move until she did.

She moved when his stomach grumbled. "You're hungry?" She sat up a little and wiped her face.

"A little yes but doesn't matter."

"I feel like going for a walk. Perhaps we can get some dinner?"

"If that's what you want."

"I need some fresh air and I need to feed you."

"Not until you kiss me." Their kiss was slow and deep and completely loving and perfect for that moment.

Rhiannon did her best to push through. She laughed and smiled as Gus filled lin al the silences with typical Ruzek nonsense but the hurt she was feeling was obvious. As they walked hand in hand back to the hotel Gus leant in and whispered. "I believe in you."

"I am ready to go home."

"I am ready to take you home." Gus squeezed her hand and didn't say anything until they were back in the room.

"Okay, you've had time to process this, I've let you go but I want to know now how you feel?"

"Hurt, lost, disappointed. I am not sure what I was expecting. I think maybe I thought she'd be a little less cold. I thought she might apologise or at least show some emotion. I am worried that I will turn out like that, you know, it's in my DNA."

"DNA means nothing, I don't believe for a second that you have it in you to be so cold and heartless because I think I know your heart now or I like to think I am starting to."

"What if I am though Gus? What if I don't think I can love my own child? What if I decide not to have a baby?" It was agony and he hated that this woman had made her doubt her own heart.

"Sweetheart. Don't do this, not right now. It's pretty raw but when I told you I believed in you I meant it. I do believe in you, I see you with Lola and I know you love her. I know you fell in love with her the moment you met her and I know that you will fall in love with your own baby from the moment you know they are there."

"What if I don't?"

"Right now, this is not the time to make any decisions like that or about that."

"But Gus, you want children, I know you do and if I can't give you that perhaps we need to be honest and walk away." She was pacing around the small room like a caged animal while Gus sat down and tried to not stress her out by coming at her. Eventually she would stop.

"Do you want me to walk away?"

"No, of course not but…"

"No buts Sweetheart. I am not going anywhere and we will figure out our future together, but not right now."

"I don't deserve you."

"You deserve better." That made her stop.

"I couldn't have made it this far without you. Don't say that."

"Okay, how about you come here then." He held out his hand and pulled her over until she was standing in front of him. "You have no idea how much I needed you too. I needed someone to straighten me up, to believe in me and to love me for who I am. I am so glad I found you and I don't regret one second of time I have spent with you. I wish things had been easier for you but they aren't and I am glad I could be the one you leant on."

Rhiannon cocked her head to the side and smiled a little. "Can I lean on you now?"

This wasn't about sex right now; that would come later. This was just about knowing that you had someone to rest your weary body on when you were tired.

Rhiannon had found her home, she found her family and her strength. She had found Angus.

And for Angus, he kissed the top of her head softly. "You're my one in a million."

_**Well that's it for Angus for now. I am sure he will be back sooner or later. Next up, a Ruzek Hollister Family Calamity**_


	11. POLLY & SAM - Splitting the Herd

_**Okay, this one is going back in time to when Alfie was just a baby. Just some everyday family fluff and a little mishap. It's 4 chapters of Family Fun.**_

Sam looked at the list on the bench and chuckled to himself. She really did have doubts about him and his ability to manage looking after his girls for three days. "Nice list Babe." He tapped it lightly as Polly came into the kitchen. She handed him his son and gratefully accepted Sam's kiss.

"I think I have covered everything."

"Ya think?" Sam kissed his boy; he was awake but only barely. Polly had obviously just fed him because he looked drunk. "He's ready for bed?"

"He is, he just finished a feed and he took forever." While Alfie was doing well he wasn't the quickest feeder going around at night. Sam had decided he was doing it just so he got his Mom's undivided attention and it made her relax after the hustle and bustle of the day.

"I'm going to miss you buddy." He loved Alfie grabbing hold of his finger, even if it was just instinct when Sam uncurled his fist and placed his index finger in his palm and he bought it up to his lips. "You just wait until we can send Mom off with the girls and you and I can hang out all weekend watching sport and doing manly things."

"I can imagine you two in sweat pants, scratching your balls, farting and burping." Sam was late home from work and had missed dinner so Polly was heating him something up. Ada was close to having her baby and Sam was knee deep in it all.

"Heaven." He lifted Alfie up onto his shoulder when he started to squirm a little and rubbed his back. "How are the queens?"

"Asleep, they were exhausted. I am sure you'll see Mae soon." They weren't quite sure how the girls were going to cope with Polly going away for a weekend but Sam was keen for her to go. Things were settling down but they were still finding their groove again after a challenging few months.

Once a year she had a weekend away with her Mom, Aunt and cousin Zoe. Rhiannon was also coming along as well as Zoe's teenage daughter Niamh. It was a retreat that had started way back when Polly was a teenager and they hadn't missed a year. Sam had always encouraged her to go and he had coped quite well with being left with both Lola and Mae in previous years. The list was the same each year though even if it got longer. Lola was seven months old when Polly left her for the first time and Mae was over a year old and he managed to keep them in one piece.

She wasn't going to go this year, Alfie was only eight weeks old and she didn't want to leave him yet, he was too young so she was going to say no this year. Kim and Nicole convinced her that while it was a girl's only event Alfie could get a free pass, just this year. He just needed his Mom and after all the drama of the past year Polly needed the break. It was also a little earlier than usual, generally they waited until spring to go but it needed to be bought forward this year.

It was also a little bittersweet and Kim really wanted Polly to go. She didn't want her to miss out on what was potentially Zoe's last trip. Sadly Zoe had been diagnosed with liver cancer. It was a tragic twist of fate because it was a donated liver and the discovery that it was a genetic form of cancer had been a bitter pill to swallow. Zoe had fought long and hard and had held it at bay for a long time but lately she had been going downhill and they knew time was limited. She had been looking forward to this weekend after a brutal round of treatment.

"Mom asked Nicole about Alfie coming, if it would be too much for Zoe and she checked with the retreat and I can take Alfie." She had approached Sam nervously. It was more the fact he would just hate not having Alfie around.

"Great, then you will go?"

"Do you mind?"

"Nope." He had pushed himself up off the couch and stopped to whisper in her ear on his way to the kitchen. "As long as I get my usual goodbye screw." It was the deal; if you were going to be away overnight then it was your obligation to pony up for sex the night before. It was an unwritten rule of their marriage and they had a few. Kim had told Polly many years ago when she asked how she stayed happily married to her Dad that they never went to bed without a goodnight kiss, no matter how pissed you were with the other person and you said I love you at least once a day. It became a rule for them too; Sam added the sex thing. They also had a once a week minimum rule and while they thought it might become a bit of a chore they actually looked forward to it and would get excited and desperately try and get the kids to sleep so they could get it on.

"So if I say no I can't go."

"No you can go, just don't come home." He winked. "Although you'll need to send Alfie back."

"Will you be okay with the girls?"

"No, we are going to party all weekend, I'll take them to a bar, they can be my wingmen and we will eat take-out for every meal."

"They will love it and be an absolute fucking nightmare the entire time." Polly took the cup of tea from Sam as he came back from the kitchen. They were very well aware of what happened when they gave the girls too much junk food, it sent them off the rails. They didn't get it a lot but they weren't that strict that they missed out all together. "Zoe is really looking forward to it, she wants to meet Alfie."

"How's she doing?"

"Not great, but excited about the weekend." It was still a few weeks away and things could change pretty quickly but the hope was that Zoe would be well enough to go. "I'd hate to miss it."

"Then you have to go. Let my boy cheer her up."

Lola and Mae were not overly impressed with the idea of Mom going away, the fact that Alfie got to go too basically 'sucked' according to Lola. Her language left a lot to be desired lately. "He's a baby and he needs Mom." Sam tried to explain and Polly had a fair idea this was going to go pear shaped. Lola and Sam were butting heads way too often lately.

"Well she can milk herself and put it in the fridge and Daddy can give it to him." She argued. "It's not fair."

"Lola, Alfie is too little to be away from Mom for that long."

She planted her hands firmly on her hips but that could see she knew she was losing the argument. That didn't alter the course of her attitude though. "And _what_ am I supposed to do?"

"Stay here with me and Mae."

"Great." She rolled her eyes and Polly stifled a laugh when Sam glared at her. She put her hand on Sam's arm and shook her head knowing that he was about to snap back at her. Lola had also tried the argument that she was a girl too and it was a girl's weekend. Explaining to her that she needed to be bigger didn't work because Sam had told her recently that she was a 'big girl' and she threw that back at him. Adam just laughed; he was going to get the same amount of shit that Polly threw at him growing up, only twice.

By the time it came around Lola was excited about the weekend because Sam was taking them to an Indoor water park. When they told them that Alfie was too small to go to a water park so if he was around they couldn't go Lola thought about it for a few moments and then decided that it would be 'awesome'. They were also going to have a lunch date and go to a movie. All in all Sam would keep them busy and hopefully they wouldn't miss their Mom too much.

At the end of the weekend they would head over to Pop's house, help him cook dinner for the ladies and wait for them to come home. He always cooked up a meat feast after they spent the weekend eating compost, drinking green sludge and embracing their downward facing dogs.

Sam watched Polly pack her bag, she had already packed Alfie's and the boy needed some shit and a half. Diapers, wipes, enough clothes for a week, warm clothes, cool clothes, toys, blankets and his stuffed giraffe. Lola and Mae had picked it out for him so they all had one of Daddy's animals to cuddle. Lola still had her leopard, Mae loved her Rhino and Alfie couldn't really give a shit about his giraffe yet but the girls made sure he always had it with him.

Alfie was lying on the bed beside him and had just drifted off to sleep after a feed; he was flat on his back in his sleeping bag and had one arm up over his head and the other resting on his face. He was impossibly cute right now. He probably should put him into bed but he was enjoying watching Polly while resting his hand on his little boys stomach as it rose and fell steadily in his sleep.

"Have you packed enough?" Polly's bag was tiny compared to Alfie's. "Why does he need twice as much as you?"

"Because unlike me he spews and shits on his clothes with regular monotony."

"True." Sam picked him up and settled him into his bassinette. He wouldn't be in it for much longer; he was getting too big for it. It may have taken him a few weeks to get into the swing of growing but now he was like a weed.

When Polly came out of the bathroom in a robe Sam was back on the bed. "You ready?" Polly tugged at the belt. "Let's get this over and done with."

"So romantic."

"I didn't know this required romance, isn't it just like paying a bill."

"You know, words hurt too." Sam clutched his chest but his eyes were twinkling as Polly danced her way over to the end of the bed as Sam shuffled down and sat on the edge just as Polly stepped between his legs. He ran his hands up the back of her thighs and pulled her close.

She undid the robe and let it fall open and Sam smiled as he buried his head into her waist as she was completely naked underneath. "To save you time."

"You can make this a workmanlike as you want but it's still turning me on."

Polly smiled and took a deep breath as Sam kissed the tops of her thighs. "That's not hard."

"No, but I am. Climb on Baby."

This was not a chore, or a rule that they had any interest in getting rid of.

Sam got up to Alfie when he woke early, he changed him and bought him back to bed for Polly to feed. "I'm going to miss you, both of you." He was laying beside them and playing with Alfie's foot while he tucked into his breakfast. "Who would have thought this little termite would steal our hearts like he has. The house will be quiet without him." Mornings were always his best feed, he generally slept from about midnight until somewhere around 6am and then would guzzle his breakfast. It was like he surprised himself by sleeping so long and then remembered he had an empty belly, he'd go from sleeping to wailing in an instant and would thrash about, jerking his hands and legs until Polly got the nipple in his mouth. He saw it coming and his mouth was open and he latched on like a magnet and there was no getting him off until he was done. Surprisingly they were still alone in bed when he woke, Mae hadn't come in. Not long after Alfie started feeding though she appeared at their door and Sam reluctantly got up and headed downstairs to start breakfast.

Kim was picking Polly up at seven so they were on a tight timeline and one that usually ended in a frantic dash to the finish line, although packing up one of them was a vast improvement on trying to herd all three of the cats into the car at once. It was a four-hour drive and the earlier they got on the road more time they had to relax. They would probably have to stop along the way for Polly to feed Alfie so it was going to be a longer trip than usual. Adam had made them up a thermos of hot water for tea and coffee and some snacks so they could have picnic no matter where they stopped.

Alfie was a rule breaker already, he was the first boy ever allowed on this weekend. It had been a strict no boy policy since the beginning. Usually they had no contact with home either but Polly would send Sam a message letting them know they had arrived safely and how Alfie was doing and most probably talk to him once a day.

It surprised them how people often commented that while it was okay for a mother to check in with her husband if she was away from her kids but they seemed bemused that a father would want to do the same. Sam was a good Dad, he was involved in their lives every day, he knew what was going on with them and they thrived when he was around. He'd been around every single day of Alfie's life and lived through Polly's traumatic pregnancy and being away from his boy, even for two days was not something he was looking forward too. At least Alfie obliged and smiled for his Daddy as he buckled him into the car. "Be a good boy, make the most of it, it's your only chance and then you can tell me what they say about me." He tucked his blanket around him and touched his tiny nose. "I'll miss my little termite."

There were tears. Lola and Mae, along with Polly and Mimi all had a little cry.

"Right, let's get ready for school." Sam got Lola organised and to school on time, he dropped Mae off at his mother's and made it to work. It was a short day for him; he wanted to pick Lola up because he knew it would make her day. She loved it when Daddy came to school and he grabbed Mae on the way. They were starting their weekend early and it was an indoor playground on the way home and pizza for dinner then they hired a movie and chilled.

"Oh my god, look at him." Nicole could barely wait to get her hands on the baby. "He's even more beautiful in real life. Congratulations Polly." It was the first time that Nicole and Zoe had seen Polly since last year and Polly was a little shocked at how frail Zoe looked. They just didn't catch up as much as they should, especially now. Even Kim didn't see her sister and niece as much as she would like and with Polly's terrible pregnancy they didn't stray far from home in the past year.

Zoe was besotted with him and Polly was happy to let her cuddle him once he had been fed and fallen asleep. She would never get to see her own grandchildren and this was about as close as she would get. It made everyone a little emotional but it was a beautiful moment and the photo that Polly took showed just how happy Zoe was to see him.

Sam carried Mae up to bed when she fell asleep on the couch and then came back down and cuddled up to Lola. "Now this is fun isn't it Chicken. Just you and me." They watched a movie and Sam let her fall asleep on his lap and it was late when Polly called him. He glanced at the clock and realised it was probably Alfie's last feed.

"Hey Baby, how are the girls?"

"I'm doing fine, thanks for asking. I am missing you."

"Sorry sweetheart." She rushed out, she did feel a little guilty for talking to Sam and wanted the call to be short. "How are you? I miss you."

"I'm good and the girls are good. We had a pizza and movie night, they both fell asleep on the couch." Sam flicked off the light and headed up to bed. "How's Alfie?"

"Just feeding now. I have barely had to lift a finger; he's the star of the show. I am lucky I've got his food packed inside me otherwise I don't think I'd be allowed to touch him."

"Is he charming the ladies?"

"He is."

"Just like his Daddy."

"Really?"

"Well I charmed our two ladies tonight." Sam flopped down on his bed. "Hey, I really miss you. Can you come home? Our bed is cold."

"What's the bet you have two little warm bodies in with you by morning."

"I hope so."

And he did, Mae came in about two and Lola was crawling in before the sun came up. He took them out for breakfast and loved seeing their little faces light up when the pancake stack arrived. Mae gasped with delight and he loved watching them share their breakfast as they chatted away happily.

"Daddy?" Lola rested her elbow on the table and propped her head up with her hand. "Did you talk to Mommy?"

"I did, it was very late last night."

"Is she missing us?"

"She is and Alfie is too."

"Can we make her a cake? I think she'd like that. Do you think she would like a cake? Maybe chocolate?"

"We can make Mommy a cake and take it over to Pops tomorrow."

"Pops?" Mae perked up. For some reason unknown to either of them, Adam was her favourite at the moment and she just wanted to see him all the time. She was obsessed with him and Adam would just shrug when they mentioned it and tell them _'why wouldn't she, I am awesome._'

"We see Pops?"

"Tomorrow Monkey."

"Ohhh." Her face fell. They had long realised that children were the world's great manipulators. "I miss Pops."

"I know you do. How about we give him a call and see if he wants to come to the waterpark?" Sam would enjoy the company as much as Adam would. It would also be easier to manage the two of them as they were both at different stages in their swimming abilities.

Adam could think of nothing worse than spending half a day in a waterpark with a million screaming kids but spending the day with Mae and Lola was worth every ounce of pain. Mae was so excited when he arrived and flung herself at his legs. "Pops. I got new swimmers." She lifted up her sweater to show him her new pink swimmers and he had to laugh, they were on inside out. Mae had obviously got herself dressed, she was learning but paid zero attention to whether it was inside out, back to front or upside down. The amount of time she had her shoes on the wrong feet was amusing. Little miss independent was cute as a button.

"Did you put them on yourself?"

"Yes." She jumped up and down and he hated crushing her joy.

"Well Monkey, let's try that again." Kneeling down in front of his little granddaughter he managed to strip her off and fix it up.

Mae hugged him. "Love Pops."

"I love my Monkey, and I get to spend the day with you so it's all good."

"We making cake." She was like a pinball machine and Adam did wonder what the hell Sam had fed her for breakfast. "Bus coming?"

"No Bus."

"Oh dear." She looked disappointed but her Pops swung her up in the air and she was giggling within seconds and forgot all about Gus.

The one good thing about a waterpark was that it absolutely wiped the girls out and Sam had them in bed by seven. Adam stayed for dinner. He didn't really like his quiet lonely house either. "Was that woman hitting on you?" Sam accepted another beer from Adam when he came down from putting Lola to bed.

"I think so. I must say it's been a long time since anyone tried. It was good for my ego."

Adam had been a little bemused by the middle aged lady who managed to spend the entire afternoon at a pool and her red lipstick did not budge. "Well aren't you two the cutest?" she eventually stopped trying to make eye contact with Adam and just went for it.

"She is very cute." He threw Mae up in the air and caught her squealing slippery body before she went under the water. And she was cute, her pink bathers were adorable and Mae looked so happy.

"Your daughter?"

"Granddaughter actually."

"No way, you don't look old enough to be a grandfather. They must keep you busy to stay in shape like that?"

"They do. My wife does too." Adam shut her down and her face slipped just a little. "Shall we go find your sister and your Daddy?" he let Mae go and watched her carefully as she tried to stay afloat. When she started to flounder he held her up and let her swim and it was the cutest sight watching her thrash around like shark bait. As to the lipstick clad woman, he left her wallowing in the shallows.

Sam had a chuckle. Lola had loved having her Dad's undivided attention and they had gone on waterslides together and squirted each other with water cannons and had a hoot. It was nice for Sam not to have to worry about Mae. If he had both of them Lola would have missed out on all this because her sister was too little.

"It's a bit creepy isn't it? I don't get why women try and hit on you when you have a child with you?"

"It's weird but Mae and I just ignored the red-lipped wonder."

Sam wasn't surprised to hear footsteps on the stairs. "Come here Monkey." He didn't even bother to look and suddenly Mae appeared from around the couch and climbed into his lap with her Rhino clasped in her hands.

"Polly used to do this."

"Is this how it all started? The late night chats with Pol?"

"Pretty much. I loved it and I kinda miss it now. I like how you are doing that with Mae though."

"I don't have the heart to stop it."

"She's still so little, if it keeps her happy. We used to talk about it and wonder if it was spoiling her but they grow up so quickly."

"I think Polly loves it because it reminds her of you."

"Well I am awesome." Adam finished off his beer. He left, bitching and moaning when Sam's phone rang and it was Polly. He wasn't allowed to contact Kim and she never called him in all the years she'd been doing this. The only time he got anything from her was the first time they went and Gus was as sick as a dog and she was more worried about her son than missing Adam.

"How was your day?"

"Tiring. Early morning bed warmers, too many pancakes for breakfast and swimming with Pops all afternoon. Your Dad has just left, he's pissed that Kim never calls him and Mae is being Mae right now."

"So she's asleep on your lap."

"Nailed it." Sam kissed her soft little head. "How's your child?"

"Sleeping in Zoe's arms." Polly had taken the call outside. "She's really struggling." Sam heard the sob catch in her throat. "it's so sad."

"Then I am really glad you are there. I hope Alfie is giving her some love."

"He is, me not so much. He was a shit last night."

"He's missing his Daddy."

"Probably. Why is it my kids miss you so much?"

"Because they love me." Sam tightened his arm around Mae as she squirmed a little. "And I love you."

"Good to know. Hey, I can't wait to see you tomorrow."

"Sunday fun day Baby" He just had to remind her of that.


	12. Homecoming

The girls were excited; Mommy was coming home today so Sam was up and cooking a chocolate cake by eight. "And Alfie too?" he reminded them.

"No Mommy." Mae protested.

"Okay, yes Mommy is coming home. I can't wait." Sam clapped his hands and Mae copied him. They were buzzing and it was going to be a long day. You'd think she'd been gone for weeks, not two days.

The kitchen looked like a bomb had gone off and it took him forever to clean it up and he got no help, they scattered like leaves in the wind as soon as the fun part was done. Letting them decorate the cake hadn't been a great idea, the icing was supposed to be purple, Lola's current favourite colour but was more black than anything and while Lola was very precise with her half of the cake when it came to adding sprinkles, Mae was a little heavy handed. It wasn't pretty, neither the cake nor the fight between the two of them but the cake was full of love.

He then took them to the movies, stopping at the zoo to check on Ada on the way and then out for lunch, Mae had a sleep once they got home while Sam and Lola played a board game and did a couple of puzzles, they made hot chocolates and hung out. They may not have wanted to spend the weekend with Dad but Sam loved this time each year with his girls. It was good for him to just relax and be there for them. It was exhausting and fun.

Of all the things he loved in the world, and he loved his job but being a husband and a father was far and away the best thing he ever did. He'd actually talked to Polly about renewing their vows because he wanted the girls and Alfie to be there, even though Lola had been at their wedding and they had decided that perhaps for their 10th wedding anniversary they would do it.

"Wow. Impressive." Adam peered at the cake, his face twisted into a tight smile as he tried not to laugh. It looked hideous.

"We made it Pops but Mae was a bit silly with the sprinkles. She's not very good." Lola screwed up her nose; she seriously hadn't got over Mae's effort at decoration. She wanted her Dad to fix it but Sam refused. Mae was proud of it and just because it didn't meet Lola's exacting standards, which to be honest were not that fantastic either, didn't mean it was ruined and Polly would love it no matter how shit it looked.

"I love it, Mom will love it and Mimi will too."

"Did you miss Mimi?"

"I did Lola Bear, very much."

"You don't like it when Mimi goes away. I don't like Mommy or Daddy going away."

"It's a little rough isn't it but how good is it when they come home?" He did miss Kim, now that they were home alone it felt even emptier when either of them were not around. They were rattling around in the big old house now but they loved it too much and the memories it held to do anything about it. Having the girls sleep over was a treat and they had loved doing up a room for them. As much as the girls and Sam were excited Adam couldn't wait until Kim got home either, he just loved his wife.

When the car pulled in the driveway Mae's scream was ear piercing. Sam and Gus were out back with Adam, enjoying a beer and counting down the minutes until their girls were home. "I would hazard a guess they are here." Adam chuckled and closed the lid of the barbecue. By the time they got inside they were beside themselves. They weren't allowed to open the door until an adult was there and Lola was a stickler for the rules. Mae probably would have ignored it given half the chance but Lola was in charge and there was no way she was touching the door handle. Mae was yelling at her Daddy to hurry up.

They flew out the door the minute Sam opened it. "Mommy." They were across the yard and Polly barely got out of the car when she had two excited girls holding onto her legs. Crouching down she got a hug from both of them.

"I missed you both so much." Polly was smothering them with kisses and Sam left them to it and opened the back door and was happy to see his son awake, sucking on his pacifier and blissfully ignoring the commotion.

"Hey little man. It's so good to see you. Daddy missed you like crazy." He loved the smile he got as he unbuckled him and lifted him out. "Whoa buddy, you stink."

"He's just done that, just for you." Kim laughed from the very welcomed embrace of her husband.

"Mommy we made you a cake." Lola was hopping from foot to foot waiting for Polly to put Mae down, who had managed to wrangle her way into her mother's arms. "It's chocolate."

"I can't wait." Holding both their hands she got the briefest of kisses from Sam. "Hi."

Sam was literally left holding the baby and not only did Alfie stink; he got it everywhere. Polly looked a little bemused when he eventually came back down stairs, he'd been gone ages and that was never a good sign. The girls were calmer now, they were helping Pops with the 'meat' and Gus was topping up Rhiannon's and his mother's wine. Polly obviously didn't get to indulge so for once she wasn't lamenting the no alcohol weekend. "What the hell have you been eating?" Sam finally reappeared having actually given Alfie a bath. "He had shit from asshole to breakfast."

"Compost in and compost out." There was no way in hell they would ever become healthy eating vegan freaks, Polly hated it, she loved meat and junk food. If it wasn't for the fact they were determined to make sure the girls ate well and they did, they ate just about anything their diet probably would have left a lot to be desired.

"Obviously. Nasty nasty stuff." Sam shuddered. "I need a beer."

Lola looked so proud as she carried the cake out to the table. Mae was trying to help but Lola wasn't keen and she gave up and went and sat on her Mommy's lap. By the way Lola stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Mae smiling cheekily at her sister they swore she'd done it with the express purpose of annoying her sister. They had battled for Mom's attention all night.

Alfie was asleep which was unlike him to actually let them eat in peace. "All that shitting must have tired him out." Sam still had not got over how disgusting it was.

They got then home and Mae in to bed with little drama and Lola wasn't happy that she had to go to bed but she had school in the morning. Polly read her a story while Sam tried to keep Alfie happy. "I love you Mommy. I'm so glad you are home."

"I am glad I am home too, I missed you and Mae so much."

"And Daddy?"

"Yes, and Daddy too." Polly kissed her forehead. "Thank you for my cake, I loved it."

"Even Mae's messy bit."

"Even Mae's messy bit, I loved all of it because it was made by my two favourite girls."

Polly stood on the stairs for just a moment and watched Sam with Alfie. It melted her heart seeing her two boys together. They were lying on the floor, Sam was propped up on one elbow and was making faces at him and Alfie was wide-eyed watching his Dad's face. He was a beautiful Dad, he wanted to be involved in their lives everyday. From the day they were born he talked to them, touched them, loved them. She loved watching him working at his desk with one of them on his lap, or in the backyard doing some gardening, in the kitchen making a cake or dinner or breakfast. He just was there for them whenever he could be.

It wasn't also easy, at times his job didn't give them the time they deserved, but when he was there, he was there. Right now Sam was loving his boy and Alfie was enjoying the peace and quiet and his Daddy's attention.

"He missed you." Polly finally joined them; she sat on the couch and ran her hand over Sam's shoulder.

"He's a good boy."

"Well he wasn't good but I barely got to see him. He was well loved."

"How was it?" Sam picked him up and joined Polly on the couch. He wasn't quite ready for a feed so Sam lay him on his lap so they could talk to him. They were both watching Alfie as they talked and he was fascinated by them as he tried to talk back.

"Weird. Like I loved that I got to see Zoe and that she got to meet Alfie, she loved him but it was strange saying goodbye knowing that it may be the last time."

"That bad?"

"I think both Nicole and Zoe were trying to make it sound more positive than it is. She's done with treatment, it's not working so there is not much else they can do. She says she feels good right now but I don't know, it felt so final."

"I'm glad you went then."

Polly rested her head on his shoulder and played with Alfie's hand. "Me too. I can't imagine not being around to see my kids grow up."

"We've got to hang around to annoy them. Like Adam and Kim annoy you."

"Mom doesn't annoy me."

"No, but your Dad is a pain in the ass some days."

"You love him, you loved spending the day with him on Saturday."

"Yep." Sam just winked at her.

Alfie started to squirm and then got annoyed and decided he was either hungry or tired. Sam offered to help Polly get her boobs out, which she declined but she did like that he stroked her breast while Alfie fed. "God I missed you."

"Calm yourself."

"Come here." Sam shuffled back into the corner of the couch and urged Polly to join him. She moved herself without detaching Alfie and settled between his legs, resting her back against his chest. It felt nice and Alfie seemed to like having his dad's hands on him while he had his last feed. Polly's head fitted perfectly on his shoulder. "You look tired."

"Not really, I am just loving this right now." She tilted her head up so that Sam could kiss her. "My two hot men."

"I'm a little jealous."

"I know."

Alfie did unload during his feed. Whatever Polly had eaten was obviously not agreeing with his little stomach and he was having a good clean out. Sam ended up in the shower with him and Polly stood and watched. "This is getting me all hot and bothered."

"It's the steam."

"Nope, it's the hot Dad that's doing it." She offered to get in with them both but instead Sam handed her Alfie and told her to get him into bed and he'd wait for her. Polly whipped him out, dressed him, popped him in his sleeping bag and got him into bed. The warm shower had calmed him and he was drifting off even as Polly was dressing him.

"Come on in." Sam beckoned. Polly took charge; she pushed him up against the wall and attacked his lips while her hands touched as much of him as possible. He always loved it when Polly was feisty. They hoped like hell the kids were asleep in their beds because they were well and truly distracted.

Sam had just pinned Polly up against the wall, he had hooked one leg around his waist and Polly moaned as he started working his way into her. They got it on and it was hot and by the time they made it back to bed Sunday Fun Day had an encore. This time Polly was on top, he loved watching her as her eyes fluttered closed. "Holy crap." Sam gasped and he stopped rocking Polly's hip. "Mabel."

She was standing beside their bed watching them going for it and Polly was going hard. Sam groaned loudly when Polly literally ripped herself off him, it hurt like hell and she dived for the sheet to cover herself up leaving Sam fully exposed. As she did she got tangled in the sheet and her knee crashed into him and Sam was in agony. "God Mabel." They didn't know what to do as she tried to climb into bed with them. It was freaking them out, Polly was naked, Sam was still half mast and one hand instantly clutched himself trying to breathe through the pain while he used the other to hold off Mae.

Mae lost it as Sam held her at bay. "No, Daddy, I get in. I get in." Polly scrambled out the other side and desperately tried to find something to wear. She paid no attention to Sam and what he was doing, nor did she notice the pained expression on his face.

"No Mabel, it's too early. You need to go back to bed." He spat at her through clenched teeth.

"No, No, No."

"Sam let her stay."

"No, this is getting ridiculous. It's not even 10pm, she's not sleeping with us every night." He had totally snatched it and Polly glared at him but he wasn't paying attention as she tried to comfort Mae who was confused and upset.

To say that Mae was impressed was an understatement and Polly took her sobbing back to bed. She didn't want anything to do with her Daddy, not that Sam cared one way or another. Polly had to agree though, they couldn't keep letting her get away with it because it was getting earlier and earlier but Sam was acting like a child. Sam put his foot down, he was in pain so what was going on with Mae didn't really register with him. He didn't care about her right now because he was trying to deal with the shooting pains that were ripping through him.

"Your daughter cried herself to sleep." Polly sounded a little pissed with him when she finally came back in. "Her little body was heaving with sobs."

"Well fuck, so is mine."

"What's wrong with you?"

"Give you two guesses?"

"What? Just because you didn't get your rocks off?"

"Nope, but you almost broke it. I'm in fucking agony." Sam was still curled up in the fetal position and clutching himself as he tried to breathe. "That hurt."

"Oh suck it up."

"You've no fucking idea do you? You think this is funny." The way he was grimacing suddenly made Polly stop taunting him. He actually had tears in his eyes. It was hard not to laugh. Whenever he was clutching his man berries after a stray arm or foot, and on the odd occasion one of them had head butted him Polly couldn't help but laugh. He would roll around dramatically and whine and complain but this seemed a little more serious.

"Are you okay?"

"No." Rolling on his back he closed his eyes and tried to take a few deep breaths. He was actually shaking, his hands were trembling and he refused to open his eyes.

"Can I help?" Polly reached for the sheet and tugged on it, still a little bemused by his carry on. Suddenly though she was starting to worry about him.

"Don't fucking touch me."

"Sam, Sweetheart. I'm sorry, I didn't meant to hurt you."

"I know; it fucking hurts Pol. I think it's broken."

"You can't break a penis."

"You can, and you have."

"Really Sam? You are freaking me out, let me have a look." Polly had no idea what she was looking for but it looked normal, as normal as a penis did anyway. It wasn't the prettiest organ in the world but it was Sam's and she was particularly fond of it.

His was the first penis she had seen up close. Nervously she had told Sam she had never seen one and they had been making out and she had felt his erection and asked if she could look at it. Sam had been more than happy to show her, it was cute watching her eyes widened when she unzipped his jeans. She thought it was ugly and weird and was worried it wouldn't fit and then she'd given him a hand job and it was pretty friggin' sweet. For awhile she was obsessed with it and when they got back together Polly greeted it like an old friend.

"Fucking Mabel." He grimaced and slapped her hand away when she went to touch it.

"Don't say that. It's not her fault."

"I know, it just hurt."

"Really Sam, is it okay? Do you need to go get it checked out?" Polly grabbed her phone and googled a broken penis and asked Sam if he heard a pop, how much it actually hurt, she grabbed it and had a good look at it much to Sam's annoyance. It didn't seem swollen or bruised and she wasn't surprised when it started to get erect again. "It seems to be working." She couldn't stop herself giggling.

"Very funny."

Polly rested her forehead on his and held his cheek in her hand. "Oh my poor Baby. I'm sorry sweetheart. I hope it's not broken, I like it."

"I love it, I am very attached to it."

"I know."

"I just want to cry."

"Oh god Sam, I'll get you some ice."

"You are not putting ice on it." He was a little hysterical. "Fuck Polly, what did you do?"

"Baby, I am starting to freak out a little here." He wouldn't even look at her. "Sam, I'm worried about you."

"Just get into bed. I'll be fine." He snapped. "And don't fucking touch me."

"It says you need to get it checked out, if it's broken it needs surgery like soon." Polly read him the information she had found and he wasn't liking the sound of any of it. Nothing about this was funny and Polly was starting to worry. She wanted to take Sam to hospital and get it checked out but he refused.

"And what, take Lola, Mae and Alfie to the ER in the middle of the night because their Mom broke their Dad's dick? Lola will have a field day at school telling that story and not to mention when your family finds out. We will have to move back to Kenya."

"Sam, I really don't care, all I care about is that you are hurt and I'm worried about you."

He convinced her that he was fine and if it was no better in the morning he'd get it checked out. He remained curled up tightly and Polly wrapped her arms around him.

Sam literally crawled out of bed the next day.


	13. Bad to Worse

Polly was up to Alfie just after midnight and Sam was asleep and then again at six. He was getting better at night, even if he had been a turd while she'd been away but he seemed to be making up for lost time tonight now he was back in his own bed.

Sam needed to get to work and he hobbled to the bathroom, jumped in the shower and was dressed before Polly had finished feeding. "You okay?" She noticed him grimacing a little as he got dressed.

"Fine. I just feel like I've been kicked in the nuts. Oh that's right, I was."

"Sorry."

"It's okay." He bent down and gave Polly a kiss and then Alfie. "See you tonight. Have a good day and I will talk to you later." Sam always called Polly at some point during the day. Usually around lunchtime when he had five minutes to catch his breath and shove some food in. The only time he really stopped for lunch was if he had a meeting or Polly came in.

He called her earlier than that, Polly had just dropped Lola at school and was on her way home and he got straight to the point. "Where are you?"

"On my way home. What's up?"

"Umm I'm on my way to med."

"What?"

"I'm pissing blood."

"Since when, Jesus Sam. Why the hell did you go to work?" Polly shrieked and Alfie startled and let out a cry. Mae managed to shove his pacifier in his mouth before he got too worked up.

"Because I wasn't pissing blood then." Sam snapped, he was in agony and really didn't feel like chit chatting. He was also wasn't alone so discussing this in any depth wasn't high on his list of priorities. Polly going off the deep end was unhelpful. "Doesn't matter does it, I'm just letting you know now."

Sam had been in a bit of pain when he got up but didn't really take notice of his piss that morning because he was in the shower. When he got to work he was lifting some bales of hay and felt like he was about to pass out from the pain and when he went to the bathroom it was just a river of red.

He had to admit; he panicked. He wandered back out and found his 2IC. "Josh, can you take me to Med."

"Sure, what's up?"

"Pissing blood man, Polly cracked me in the nuts last night and I'm struggling." He was very matter of fact about it even if inside his heart was beating a million miles an hour. He could barely stand up straight and Josh did offer to call an ambulance but he was having none of it, it was a waste of resources and all he needed was some to drive him or he'd drive himself.

"Holy crap, what you'd do?"

"Nothing man, Mae came in, she freaked out." Sam sucked in a deep breath; discussing his sex life wasn't something he ever felt the need to do. "Can we go?"

Calling Polly was the last thing he wanted to do, she was going to freak out. "Okay, I'll meet you there." Polly had already turned the car around. Sam was going to protest, if Polly was coming then that meant Mae and Alfie would also be there. This is embarrassing enough as it was, he didn't want a cast of thousands parading through his room. It was bad enough that he had to tell Josh. However the alternative was that she dropped the kids of with either her mother or his and that had disaster written all over it.

"Hi Daddy." Mae piped up. She had been listening from the backseat and loved talking to her Dad on the 'phone' "Work Daddy?"

"Hi Monkey. I am working."

"I miss you." She seemed to have completely forgotten about the incident last night. She hadn't come back in and Sam had left before she woke this morning and Mae had asked her Mom where Daddy was. She loved her Daddy even when he made her cry.

Sam was already in a room when Polly came in with both Alfie, asleep in his pram and Mae. Fortunately it had been quiet and he was taken straight through but hadn't been seen yet. Polly looked as white as a sheet, he knew she would freak out, visiting people in hospital wasn't a new thing for Polly and she hated every single minute of it, even walking through these doors got her heart pumping and not in a good way. "What did they say?" She ran her hand through his hair. Mae was just staring at her Dad and seemed a little overwhelmed, she was glued to her mother's hip.

"Nothing yet."

"You sick Daddy?" Mae's bottom lip quivered and she suddenly burst into tears and Sam held her hand. "Up Daddy." She tugged on his arm. "We go home."

"It's okay Mae, Daddy is okay. The Doctor will fix me up and then we will go home." He held out his arms for her to dive into and she was much happier to be lying with her Daddy. Sam relaxed a little too, he liked having Polly here because she calmed him with just her presence.

"What happened?"

"I went to work and when I took a leak it was just blood and it hurts like hell. It freaked me out I will admit. Josh drove me in. It looks fine but I have a bruise where you got me with your knee." He had a bruise developing just above his pubic bone and Sam sighed a little when Polly rested her hand on it. "Don't tease me."

It may have looked fine, not that he would let Polly take a look, not while Mae was there, but it wasn't fine. When the Doctor came in Polly tried to take Mae outside so she couldn't see but still listen to the Doctor. "Did you hear any cracking or popping?"

"No." It was mortifying listening to Sam having to explain the situation and Polly felt like shit. The thought that she had done this to him was hard to get her head around. A sex injury was something you joked about but didn't honestly think it would ever happen. Maybe falling out of bed, or banging your head on something but this was unbelievable.

"Have you been able to get an erection since?"

"Not sure, I haven't really tried to be honest." He looked as embarrassed as Polly felt. "A little bit, Polly was looking at it last night and I started to you know…" he shrugged. "..not much though."

They also were a little stunned when he asked about whom Sam had been having sex with lately. "No one else?"

"Nope, not for almost eight years." This seemed like one of those TV shows when it came out in hospital because of an emergency that someone had been screwing around before being diagnosed with some hideous STD. He also asked Polly who just shook her head. Sam tried to joke that she barely had the energy to have sex with him and Polly glared at him, this was not funny or a time to joke.

To pile on the misery it was decided that he needed an x-ray and ultrasound.

"Stay Daddy?" Mae was perched on her Mom's lap when the doctor left while they waited for him to go up to X-ray. The orderlies came to take Sam for his tests and Mae burst into tears, she wasn't coping and Polly knew she shouldn't be here but she had no choice right now.

"They just need to take some special photos. He'll be back soon. Let's take Alfie for a walk outside." Polly couldn't sit here and wait, it was driving her nuts and she felt overwhelmed and claustrophobic. Alfie was due to wake up soon and a bit of fresh air would do them the world of good. Mae was also starting to get a little fidgety.

"Oh Pops." Mae squealed when they stepped out of Sam's room and almost ran smacked bang into her Pops. Polly just about fainted. It never crossed her mind that she would see anyone they knew here.

"Oh god." Sam was going to be horrified. He was paranoid about people finding out, he wanted to get in and out without anyone knowing a thing. The Ruzek's were going to have a field day with this.

Mae reefed her hand out of her mom's and ran into her Pops arms. "Pops, Daddy hurt."

"What happened?"

Polly just looked at Alfie in his pram and straightened his blanket trying to delay this conversation for as long as possible. "What are you doing here?" Polly knew it sounded lame as she tried to ignore his question until she knew how to answer.

"I could ask you the same question? I am here for work, not unusual." Adam reached for Polly's hand as it was resting on the handle of the pram. "What's wrong Sweet Pea? Is Sam okay? Did he get hurt at work?"

"He's okay. He's had a bit of a knock and is just getting it checked." Polly was desperately trying to give as little information as possible. Despite that Polly appreciated the steadying hug from her Dad around her shoulder. "He's in X-ray right now."

"When did this happen?"

"This morning."

"You should have called us. We could have taken the kids; your Mom is home today. Where's Lola, at school?"

"Yep. It's okay. Mae's happy to be here and Alfie is sleeping, he needs to be fed soon." Polly's mind was all over the shop, this was her worst nightmare and she couldn't deal with it right now, not while she had no idea what was going on with Sam.

"I'll call Mom to come and get Mae at least. She doesn't need to stay here. Are you sure Sam's okay?"

"He will be. I'll let you know when we know something."

Mae didn't want to leave her Daddy or her Mommy. She liked them and liked being with them. With her Mom being away all weekend she was a little clingy right now even though she was happy to see her Pops. "I stay with Daddy, he hurt."

"You sure?"

"Yep, we'll be fine. Hopefully Sam will be back soon and all good and we can go home." Polly actually had no idea what was going to happen. Despite Sam's joke last night that she had broken his penis it didn't seem such a joke right now. The Doctor didn't think it was fractured but until the results came back and they could explain the bleeding it hadn't been ruled out. There was the possibility that he would need surgery to fix if it was fractured.

Fortunately Mae didn't have much of an idea what they were talking about. Alfie woke just as Polly got back to wait for Sam. He was content as long as he was feeding and Mae was sitting up in a chair and watching Polly's phone. They didn't give them a lot of time watching devices but if it kept her quiet and happy right now Polly was more than happy for her to have it.

"Hey. Your still here?" Sam looked relieved to be back and that Polly was still waiting for him.

"Of course. How'd you go?"

"Fine. Don't know the outcome yet." When Polly finished feeding Alfie she handed him to Sam. He was happy to talk to him, and distract himself until they came in and told him he needed to pee in a bottle so they could test his urine again.

Polly jumped up and grabbed Alfie while Mae was thankfully distracted as he voided and it was still bloody. She could see the discomfort on his face and hated it. "It's not your fault Baby." Sam could see it and knew precisely what Polly was feeling. "It's just a crazy accident."

"I feel awful."

"I know." He squeezed her hand, he was feeling sore and sorry for himself but worried about Polly and how she was doing. "Don't. Shit happens. Perhaps this is payback for knocking you up with the termite and making you so sick."

Polly leant down and kissed him softly, running her spare hand over his cheek. "I love you Sam, so much."

"I hope so, you are stuck with me." Sam grinned a little, smiling against her lips. "Broken dick and all."

"God this is a nightmare."

"No, it could be worse."

"Oh baby it is worse. Dad's here, he knows you are here." Polly explained bumping into her Dad in the corridor and how uncomfortable she felt as she tried not to tell him what had happened. "He knows I was lying." They weren't going to be able to hide it now though. In general, even though Polly talked to her Mom most days they didn't see each other all that much during the week. Everyone was busy with work and life and while Polly was on maternity leave they didn't need to have Mae looked after or Lola picked up from school so they were hoping that this would pass without having to tell anyone.

"Fan-fucking-tastic."

"Mae told him you are hurt, you know she can't keep a secret but nothing else. Lucky she doesn't understand what's going on. He doesn't know what happened."

"He doesn't know you broke my dick? First it's the bed and now you've upped the ante." Sam teased her. "You are an extreme lover aren't you?"

Adam had to get back to work, he was here for a reason but he did call Kim quickly. "Darlin' I've just bumped into Polly at Med, she's here with Sam, he's been hurt."

"Oh god, is he okay? Why didn't she call?"

"I don't know, look I can't stay. She's got Alfie and Mae here. She looks a little freaked, I thought you'd come down."

"I'm on my way. Are you still there?"

"No."

"What happened? Is Sam okay?"

"I don't know. She said he'd had an accident or a knock or something. I assume at work. Don't know. She was a bit vague, I think she's in shock." Adam was climbing back into his car. "Something's not right, Polly was off and she definitely didn't want to talk to me." Kim thought it was odd, why wouldn't Polly want them to know what had happened to Sam? Her mind spun off in all different directions, was Sam sick? Polly hadn't indicated on the weekend that anything was wrong. They were joking about his upcoming vasectomy and how much Adam was a baby about it and they were sure Sam was going to be just as whiny. Surely if they were worried about something Polly wouldn't have been able to hide it from her all weekend?

Sam was off having an ultrasound when Kim arrived. Polly couldn't stop herself and she started to cry when she saw her Mom. "Oh sweetie, what happened? Is Sam okay?"

"He is, he will be. He had an accident and he started peeing blood this morning, he's had an x-ray and now is having an ultrasound." Kim let Mae sit in her lap, she was happy to see her Mimi.

"What sort of accident?"

"Oh god, Mom I can't."

"Polly, honey. What is it?"

"We were having sex and Mae came in and it was all a bit crazy and Sam got hurt. They are testing him for a fracture."

"Fractured what?" Polly didn't answer, she just looked mortified and it finally clicked with Kim. "Oh good lord. No?" She gasped, she couldn't help herself.

Polly just nodded.

"Poor Sam."

"I didn't mean to hurt him. I feel so bad, I laughed at him because he was being such a baby about it and now he's here and they are talking about potentially needing surgery." Polly buried her face into Alfie who was asleep on her shoulder to hide her distress, which was pointless. Kim was onto her. "This is a nightmare. You can't tell Dad or Gus, Sam's so embarrassed."

"Let's just see what the tests say." She rubbed her back tenderly.

Mimi convinced Mae to come home with her. It was the lure of going to a toy shop that did it. Kim was happy to do anything to get Mae out of there, she didn't need to spend the day in a cramped ER room. Kim would pick Lola up from school for them. "Daddy present?"

"Of course you can buy Daddy a present." They agreed to just tell people that Sam took a fairly hefty knock to the nuts when Polly fell onto him, if details were required. They probably weren't going to get around a conversation about that fact they were having a 'sexcapade' but that was better than explaining the whole horror show.

"Where's Mae?" Sam was surprised to see just Polly and Alfie waiting for him. He loved the look of it, Polly had him lying on her chest and he was snuggled up tight and cute. Polly as a mother blew him away; he would have hundred babies with her just to see things like this.

"Mom came and took her home. Dad called her, I didn't call her."

"Great, and now she knows." As if this nightmare couldn't get any worse.

"Sam, I can't worry about that right now. I am worried about you. What did they say?"

"Nothing."

The Doctor did come back in and both the x-ray and ultrasound showed no damage. The wanted to pop in a catheter with a small camera in the tip just to make sure he had no strictures or tears in his urethra and Polly cringed as she watched them insert the tube. Sam had one hand over his eyes and was holding Polly's hand tightly with the other. "Thank god Alfie won't remember this. He doesn't need to see what can happen to him." He muttered. "Poor bugger, he's got all this to look forward too." Alfie was in his pram and he was most displeased, he was wailing and all Polly could do was pop his pacifier in and rock it with one hand while she hung onto Sam's hand.

"More so than your daughter's who will one day give birth."

"Stop. They are not having sex. I will tell them how dangerous it is." Sam was doing his best to joke about it. "Although perhaps you should talk to them about being a kind lover, how they should treat their men gently. I feel it is your responsibility to make sure our daughters are kind and gentle and that penises are precious and fragile things."

"If it's not broken it will be soon." Polly hissed at him.

They were relieved to find out that Sam wasn't suffering any serious damage. His bleeding was most likely from some bruising trauma from Polly's knee and rapid dismount. "So you did do this?"

"I guess so, I'm so sorry."

He was discharged with strict instructions to rest for a couple of days, report back if the bleeding continued for more than a day or so or got worse or if his pain increased. He could take some ibuprofen for the pain, use icepacks if needed and had to abstain from sexual activity for a week and a specialist follow up appointment in two days time. "Don't worry Doc, I won't let her near me for a long time. She's brutal."

"Well about that, one thing I do need you to do preferably before you go is we need to see if things are working properly."

"I can pee."

"Ah, not that. We need to make sure you can get an erection."

Polly just gasped.

"We will give you some privacy." He looked a little uncomfortably at Polly. "However you want to do that is fine but no happy endings."

Sam glanced at Polly who looked like she was about to faint. "Did he just say no happy ending?"

"I think so. This is weird right?"

"Very. You want to get to it?" Sam threw back the sheet and forced himself to laugh at the look of horror on Polly's face. "Look it will get us out of here quicker."

"You are on your own."

"Pol, honey. Come on, this is weird enough as it is please don't make it worse. Kiss me." He beckoned her closer and Polly did kiss him, she cried and she let him guide her hand downstairs and within a couple of minutes they discovered he was functioning perfectly fine, although it wasn't exactly pleasurable for Sam. "This no happy ending thing sucks big time. That's twice in a row, don't make it a habit." Polly leant her forehead on his and they both laughed. This was absurd.

Polly took him home, he refused to go with her to pick up Mae and they decided to let Mae stay with her Mom until Lola finished school and then Polly would go pick them up. He didn't feel like seeing anyone right now. He did like that Polly fussed over him though, she felt guilty and mortified and wanted to make it up to him. All that she let him do was cuddle Alfie and even when he tried to get up to go to the bathroom she hovered. "I can pee by myself. I don't need you watching me."

"I want to make sure you are not bleeding any more."

"How about I call you before I flush?"

"Just let me watch. I have a vested interest in making sure you are okay."

"Careful, remember I am not allowed to get too excited, no knocking the top off."

When Polly finally sat down to feed Alfie she took one look at Sam as he hobbled back to the couch and burst into tears. "Hey Baby, come on. Don't cry please."

"This is a nightmare Sam, I feel terrible. I laughed at you."

He lowered himself on the couch and made Polly wiggle over until she was leaning against him so he could slip an arm around her shoulder and touch Alfie as he fed. "You always laugh at me, that's nothing new."

"Don't joke about it. It could have been serious."

"It could have been but it's not." He pressed his lips against her temple. "I am going to be fine in a few days."

"You know how when our babies are sick I just want to hold them, I just want to hold you."

"Ahhh, your hands are not touching my dick."

"Yes, because that is precisely what I was talking about." She rolled her eyes and let out a giggle through her tears. "I just love sitting cradling your dick in my hands and you let me touch it earlier"

"I know you love it and that was a medical procedure."

"I guess we need to stop Mae coming in?"

"Pftt, like that's going to happen. We love it, we love cuddling up to her it was just bad timing on her part. Lucky she was little enough not to remember it, unlike Lola."

"You know this is going to become a story?"

"I'm not going to Sunday night dinner ever again." Polly glanced at the clock and left to pick up Lola and Mae. Even if Sam was fine, he was avoiding her family for as long as humanly possible.

Kim made Polly a cup of tea when she arrived. Lola told her mother off when she arrived. "Why didn't you pick me up? I was waiting for you."

"I'm sorry Chicken, I was looking after Daddy."

"Is he sick?" Her face fell. She was such a mother hen and Sam was bracing himself for her mothering. Polly had left him with Alfie who had just been fed so he was having some cuddles before Sam would put him down for a sleep.

"He's just a little be sore, he had an accident so you can't jump on him."

"What happened? Was it an animal?"

"No sweetie." Polly didn't answer the rest of the question. She was hardly going to explain to her six year old that her Daddy's penis was sore because Mommy had done a rapid dismount and kneed him in the nuts.

"Is Sam going to be okay? What did they say?" Kim waited until Lola had disappeared to play with Mae. Polly sipped her cup of tea; her hands were still a little shaky. It had been a long nerve-wracking day although being here right now was probably worse. She had no idea what time her Dad would be home and she did not want to get into this with him, at all.

"He is, he's just got some bleeding from the trauma. He's a bit battered and bruised but nothing serious or long term, rest, ice and ibuprofen."

"What happened?" Kim wasn't quite sure she wanted to know.

"Mae came in and we didn't notice her and when we did it was a little hectic…" Polly was blushing. "…and Sam got hurt. I also kneed him in the groin so he is actually lucky."

"I didn't know you could fracture a penis, I googled it. It's not pretty." Quite frankly it was the worst thing Kim had read and she also made the mistake of looking at the pictures and cringed at how horrific it sounded when they talked about 'de-gloving' during a repair, and it didn't mean the surgeon took his gloves off.

"It's horrific and I am so relieved it's not that bad but Mom can we not talk about it? He really doesn't want people to know, it's embarrassing."

"Okay, but your Dad has called me twice already to find out what's going on, if Sam's okay. You are not returning his calls. He's worried." Kim and Adam both adored Sam, he was perfect for their daughter; they had ups and downs, it wasn't always beer and skittles but they were rock solid and they loved their kids. He was a good husband and a good dad and a good man.

"What did you tell him?"

"That Sam was at home, resting and he would be fine."

"And he was okay with that?"

"No, not at all. I told him that he'd copped a stray knee, I didn't say who did what."

"Thank you." It wasn't going to end there, they both knew it. Even if they kept it vague the story was going to get bigger than Ben Hur. The bed breaking incident was now some huge rollicking tale that was dragged out with gay abandon whenever the opportunity arose.

Sam was asleep when they got back as was Alfie. Mae had a present for him and was desperate to give it to him and Lola just wanted to see him and make sure he was okay. She had been most concerned on the way home, asking her mother a million questions which she didn't want to answer. "Who hurt Daddy?"

"It was just a silly accident."

"He should be more careful." She went on and on and it was a relief to get home to let her focus on her Daddy.

"Hey." Polly sat on the edge of the bed and ran her hand over her cheek. "You okay?" she asked when he finally opened his eyes. She had managed to convince the girls to let her check on Daddy before they came up to see him.

He rolled onto his back. "I am."

"The girls want to see you, is that ok?"

"Sure. I'll come down." He glanced at the clock and realised he hadn't been asleep for long. "Alfie's only been asleep a little while."

"Daddy." Mae saw him first. "I get present." She scrambled off the couch and ran at her Daddy.

"No Mae, be careful." Lola was two inches behind her, grabbing hold of Mae's arm to stop her. "Daddy's hurt."

"No Lola, don't touch me." She slapped her hand away.

"Please don't fight. Come sit on the couch with me." He held both their hands, one to keep them apart and two because he just loved holding their little hands. Polly found them, all three of them perched up on the couch, one tucked up under each arm and they both had their arms wrapped around him. It was a beautiful sight, they were only missing their little termite. Sam as Dad was one of her favourite humans.

Lola mothered him all evening. He didn't have to do a thing. Polly wasn't much better, she felt guilty and wouldn't let Sam lift a finger. She nagged him about drinking enough water and insisted on a report on every time he peed. At one stage Lola offered to 'check' for her Mom when Daddy went to the bathroom. She had been listening with her bat ears all night. He could think of nothing worse.

Sam was relieved when they finally went to bed and he got some peace and quiet. He curled up with Polly, although she was told to steer clear of his nether regions and "remember, no happy endings."


	14. Snap, Crackle & Pops

Adam was proud of his work. Kim warned him not to make a big deal of it but there was no way she could stop him. He was a law unto himself. His argument was that it was rare that such an opportunity dropped in his lap so to speak and it just wouldn't be right not to make the most of it. "They'll be disappointed if I don't"

"Somehow I don't think they will be disappointed."

"Pfft." He scoffed.

"Just remember Lola please. She's got ears like a bat and remembers everything. Mae's a bit of a parrot too. Please tone it down."

"Yeah Yeah." Adam waved his had dismissively. "I'll be kind."

"This is not being kind Adam."

"I am offering support. In more ways than one." He laughed, a little manically as he disappeared outside and Kim just sighed. Apart from drugging him or hitting him over the head with a brick there was no way she could stop him.

Adam had a plan though and he was going to lull them into a false sense of security.

"Where's Dad? Outside?" Polly was close to having an anxiety attack. Sam seemed calm, but then compared to Polly he was. Even Lola had looked at her Mom funny and asked if she was okay before they left the house.

"Of course." Lola was hanging close to her Mom, she hugged MiMi and Mae had shot out the back door to see her Pops. Sam was changing Alfie, who had decided to drop the motherload on the way over, much to his sister's disgust. Usually he would do whatever it took to get out of changing Alfie but he was stalling for time and Polly had teased him about it. They were both on edge.

"Pops, I here."

"Hey, hey my Monkey." He swung her up in the air. "How are you? Did you come alone? Did you drive?"

"No, silly old man." Why was he not surprised she came out with that? The things these kids heard would make a man blush some days but they were awesome and he roared with laughter.

"Where's my Lola Bear?"

Mae just shrugged. Truth be told Mae didn't care either. She had Pops attention and that's all that mattered to her. Sharing her humans with the other two seriously annoyed her some days. Mae had attitude and swagger lately. Lola was much more chilled out., she worried more and was freaked out by Mae's bold personality and belief that rules were meant to be bent or broken.

"Where's Alfie?"

"He shat. He smell." Mae screwed up her nose. "Yucky boy."

"Yes, yes they are. Just you remember that when you are a teenager." Adam warned her. "Your Daddy was a yucky boy."

"No, he Daddy. Love Daddy."

"Yes, yes you do."

Adam completely freaked Sam out by not saying one damn word. This was worse than the time he came for dinner knowing that they had found out that he was having sex with Polly. They were teenagers then and he thought he was going to die that night.

He leant over to Polly and whispered., which made Polly laugh. Adam knew he was getting to him. "He's fucking screwing with my mind."

"It's weird, hey?" She agreed; Adam was saying nothing. Kim knew what he was doing and just sat back and watched it unfold. It was slow and painful and the longer Adam said nothing the more Sam started to fidget.

Sam had bought Alfie out and Adam had whipped him out of his Dad's arms and told Sam to grab him a beer. Gus arrived and he still said nothing despite having the floor. Lola and Mae put on a show, which quickly descended into chaos because Mae had little regard for Lola's instructions. Lola had spent all weekend teaching her the dance moves but that all went out the window once the music started and Mae got carried away. "Mabel." Lola huffed. "Just stop." She turned the music off angrily. "Why won't she do what she's told?" She whined at her mother.

"Because she not even three yet." Polly tried to explain it to her again. Lola had high expectations for Mae and was always disappointed that she never met them. "That's who she is. She's still learning, be patient."

"She needs to hurry up and grow up. I don't have time for this." Lola was so dramatic. She flung herself onto the couch and buried her head into her knees. Polly tried to comfort her but she was having none of it. Mae ruined everything according to their wailing five-year-old.

Adam nipped inside and came out with some pre-dinner snacks. He set it on the table and reached for the breadsticks. "You'll love these." He snapped one in half and smiled wickedly. Sam sighed; he knew it was coming.

When they went inside for dinner Adam pulled out a ring cushion for Sam to sit on. "Apparently it's good for haemorrhoids and childbirth injuries and…" he tossed it at Sam. "…other things."

"Did you get this after your last old man prostrate check?"

"Smart Ass."

"I bet your ass was smarting." Sam mumbled under his breath and Polly slapped his leg under the table. It wasn't so much he was baiting Adam but Lola and Mae were listening to every word. They loved Sunday night dinners and Lola, especially bought things up weeks later.

"Not as much as your…."

"Adam." Kim hissed. "Don't you dare. Not another word."

Adam sat quietly and ate his dinner for a moment. Gus, however was his father's son and was more than happy to keep it going. "On a scale of one to ten, what kind of pain are we talking about?"

"Forty-five."

"Really?" He had to admit, even though he laughed when he heard what happened he also cringed because it sounded terrible. He couldn't imagine how much it hurt, just a quick tap to the nuts bought him to his knees. It wouldn't be a Ruzek Circus though if he showed any sympathy to his brother-in-law at the dinner table.

"Really. Absolute agony. Giving birth looked less painful."

Polly was completely unimpressed and after that comment it was open slather as far as she was concerned. "Yes, because watching me give birth hurt you so much."

"At least you got something nice out of it."

"Lucky for you." Polly snipped. "Lucky you have three now, the factory is closed, might as well board it up."

"Good idea." Adam never really got the hang of being okay with his daughter's sex life, even though she was an adult and he adored his three grandchildren. "Can they like…stitch it shut?"

"Dad." Polly gasped and Sam just shook his head. Kim sighed, he was out of control but she hadn't been able to control him for more than thirty years, there was little point trying. "Can you not?"

"Too far Dad, too far." Gus had to agree, that was a visual he didn't need. Adam held up his hand and admitted guilt, they were right, that was a bridge too far.

"Anyway…" he jumped up from the table when the girls had finished their dinner. "Pops made you something special." He disappeared into the kitchen and came back with their surprise. Lola and Mae clapped their hands. "Rice Crispy slice." He held out the plate and they took a piece each. "With a surprise."

Offering the plate to Sam he added. "You'll love 'em. A bit of snap, crackle with a surprise pop."

"Very fucking funny." He spat out between gritted teeth. Polly snorted and Sam glared at her and it made her toes curl. She did feel sorry for him; it had been a mortifying experience for them both but there was no way he was ever going to get away without being teased for it. They just had to get it over and done with.

"Ooooo…Daddy." Mae knew that was a bad word.

"It's got popping candy in it." Lola cheered. She loved popping candy. Mae was a bit shocked by it and actually cried.

"Well done Adam." Kim wasn't happy that he had made his granddaughter cry. She helped Mae up onto her lap. "Are you done?"

"Almost." He smiled wickedly. "I bought Sam a get well present." That perked Mae up, she did love a present. "Monkey, come with me."

"Can you not drag my daughter into your insanity." Polly was forever trying to rein her Dad in while Sam just sat and resigned himself to his fate.

"Surprise Daddy." Mae produced it with a flourish. Usually Lola was all up in this but she was too busy trying to pick all the popping candy out of Mae's discarded treat. She'd find a bit, pop it in her mouth and giggle as it popped. It was cute to watch but they did worry about her sugar levels.

Reluctantly Sam opened it, with Mae's chubby little fingers helping. "Oh, just what I wanted." His sarcastic tone was only missed by Mae, who just didn't care, she had opened a present and Lola who was disappointed that she couldn't have another piece. She was negotiating with Gus to try and get him to have a piece of slice so she could 'help' him and by 'help' it meant pick out the good bits.

Mae's excitement soon turned to disappointment when she realised it wasn't for her. She had no idea what it was but it wasn't a toy so it lost her interest pretty quickly. Sam held up the 'male support garment' that Adam had bought him with two fingers and Adam roared with laughter, he was happy with his work but he was the only one.

"I thought it would come in handy."

"That's what you spent hours trawling the internet for." Kim couldn't believe it. "You are a waste of space."

"Harsh Darlin'." Adam stopped laughing. "I was just making sure Sam is adequately supported during his recovery. Despite what you think, I was worried about him."

"No, you were just worried about making sure you got all the mileage out of this that you could."

"Well that too."

"What is it Daddy?" Lola finally joined the party, if you could call it that.

"Pops is just being silly."

"Pops is always silly. What is it?"

"It's to help Daddy with his sore bits."

Lola contemplated that for a moment. "Mommy had to watch Daddy do a wee to make sure he was better. I wanted to help but Daddy said no."

"Thank you Charlotte." Sam was beaten. He just wanted this over. Luckily Alfie decided it was time to wake up for a feed and rather than feed him here Sam insisted that they take him home and get him straight into bed afterwards. Polly laughed at the speed at which he packed them up and got them in the car. Adam handed him his cushion and Sam told him to keep it for the next time he got a finger up his date. He had started the car before Polly had finished strapping Alfie in.

"In a rush Babe?"

"Your Dad is a pain in the ass." Polly reminded him that if Adam didn't like him he wouldn't have even bothered to tease him. Which was easy for Polly to say, she wasn't the one with the broken dick, a story that was only going to become more and more elaborate as the years went on.

"Daddy, that's not nice." Lola admonished him while Mae was busy teasing Alfie with his pacifier. She would put it in his mouth and then snatch it back which was pissing him off. He really would have preferred a feed right about now and wasn't enjoying the trip home.

"Mabel. Stop it. Give him his pacifier." Sam snapped. He had been watching her in the mirror and Mae promptly burst into tears. "I don't know why I married into your circus." He whined. Mae was crying and it was annoying Lola, who liked to tell them she was annoying and Alfie was carrying on like his throat had been cut and he hadn't been fed in days.

"Because once upon a time your penis actually worked."

"Shut up Polly." He looked at her from the corner of his eye and she was smiling. "I love you."

"Yeah, yeah. So you say."

"Do you love us Daddy?" Lola asked suddenly, which made them chuckle. They wondered how much of this night she was going to remember and drag out at an inopportune time somewhere in the near future.

"Yes Lola, yes I do."

"Hmmm, that's good."

_**Well Sam survived dinner, not sure what's next for our hapless crew. Maybe a little bit of kid chaos.**_


	15. Tampons

_**This is pre-Iris, just the kids being kids...and being Ruzek-Hollister kids that generally means chaos.**_

Sam took one step into Lola's bedroom and turned around and walked straight back out and down stairs. He wanted nothing to do with whatever was going on in there. If he spoke he'd sound hysterical and then Polly would have his guts for garters.

"Umm Babe, I think you need to sort Lola out? You need to talk to her." He found Polly in the laundry grabbing some clothes out of the washer. "I'll hang out the washing."

"Why?"

"Umm she's with Alfie."

"And?"

"She's shoving tampons up his nose."

"Did you stop her?"

"No…" He scoffed like she had said the most absurd thing in the world. "…that's your thing."

"Fuck Sam, grow a set." She shoved the basket of wet clothes into his hands and pushed passed him. He was such a male some times, which for someone who delivered his own children the fact he was squeamish about tampons and Polly's period amused and annoyed her. It was bad enough getting him to buy them for her. He would ask her if she really needed him.

"For fuck's sake Sam, they are just tampons. I get a period every month; I have for years. The fact that I have a period every month is not news to you." Since Alfie had arrived and Sam had his vasectomy Polly didn't use any form of birth control, it never felt good for her and they both didn't want to go through the agony every few years of the implant and the other options weren't great for Polly either. Sam refused to let her suffer and was more than happy to let her body do its thing. It was sometime untimely but it was what it was.

"Oh I know. Trust me, I know." Begrudgingly he always headed out and came back with her tampons. He had learnt very early on that brands were not interchangeable. One tampon was not like another and that created an uncomfortable issue when they arrived in Australia and discovered the tampons here were not quite like the ones in America. He put up with a fair bit of whinging about that and Polly investigated getting a year's worth shipped out and he told her to do whatever she wanted to do, he was not getting involved in that decision.

Polly was surprised that Mae wasn't all up in this shit. It seemed right up her alley. It was just Lola and Alfie and he was lying on her bed with a blanket pulled up to his chin while Lola was fussing over him as he was dramatically moaning like he was dying. On the table next to her bed was a box of tampons, all unwrapped and Alfie had one shoved up his nose.

"Can I just ask what's going on?"

"Alfie is sick."

"Okay but please take that tampon out of his nose."

"He had a bloody nose."

"Okay, but we do not put things up our noses. It's dangerous."

"Well, where do I put them?" She held up the tampon that she had just pulled from her brother's nose.

Polly's heart almost stopped beating. She was so not ready to discuss periods with Lola and certainly not with Alfie around with his bat ears. "Umm, well not up Alfie's nose. I will talk to you later. Pack them up."

"But I am sick." Alfie sat up suddenly. "We playing hospitals."

"You can still play hospitals but not with these." Polly scooped up the remaining tampons which made about half a box and she knew it was a full box because she had only just opened it. "Where are the rest?"

"Mae took them, she's in the bathroom."

Mae wasn't involved in the hospital role play because she was too busy in the bathroom watching them swell up when she dropped them in the sink. Having recently had an excursion at the Aquarium she happily told her Mom that they were "Puffer fish."

It took all Polly's effort to keep a straight face. No wonder Sam bolted and left it to her. He was suddenly keen to mow the lawn once he'd hung out the washing, he was such a child when it came to talking about sex with the kids.

"Alright, enough." She grabbed Mae's hand before she threw another one in the sink. "That's a waste. They are not toys."

"What are they?"

"They are tampons and they belong to me. I need them and this is just a waste." Emptying out the sink Polly threw the swollen tampons into the bin. Between them they had wasted a whole pack and Polly would need to go to the shops. The reason they were out was because Polly needed them at the moment.

"Why?"

"Because I have a period every month and need the tampons to catch the blood that my body doesn't need."

Surprisingly Mae just shrugged and that satisfied her. Perhaps it was the annoyed look on her mother's face that made her keep quiet, usually she was way more inquisitive but the tone of her mother's voice was enough for her to know she wasn't happy.

Lola wasn't getting out of it that easily though. Polly sent Mae and Alfie outside to help Dad, if he was going to be a wimp then he could deal with those two. "Hey Chicken, let's talk about the tampon thing now." Polly lay down on Lola's floor, she wanted this to be a relaxed and casual as possible, despite her own anxiety.

"I didn't mean to waste them."

"It's okay Chicken. I just need them at the moment."

"What for?"

"Well because I am a woman my body gets ready for a new baby every month. I have this egg in my ovaries." She pointed to her belly. "You have all these eggs too but as you grow up your body starts to let one egg out each month. It travels down to my uterus, you know where you and Mae and Alfie all grew and my uterus starts getting ready to grow a baby and makes a nice thick lining of blood. Daddy and I don't want any more babies so after a couple of weeks it needs to get rid of the egg and the lining and the blood comes out and it's called a period."

"Does it hurt? Like when I cut myself or fall over and scrap my knee and it bleeds and it hurts."

"No, it doesn't hurt. It's not like cutting yourself, not at all. For some people it can be a little uncomfortable and my boobs feel a little sore and sometimes I feel a little grumpy but it doesn't hurt me."

"Is the egg like a chicken? That's like big." Lola's eyes just about bugged out of her head.

"No, it's very tiny, you can't even see it with your eyes."

"I don't think it sounds very nice."

"It's a very special thing though Lola, it means that one day you can have a baby. If I didn't have those periods we wouldn't have you, or Mae or Alfie. Rhiannon and Gus wouldn't have Viv, MiMi and Pops wouldn't have me."

"So what do the tampons do?"

"I put the tampon inside my vagina and it catches all the blood so no-one can see it. I swap it every couple of hours and it lasts a few days and then it's all over."

"What does Dad say, blood freaks him out?" It was true, Sam wasn't great with seeing people bleeding. Animals he barely batted an eyelid but one of the kids and he'd get all hot and sweaty and almost faint. He was quite useless sometimes.

"Dad is okay with it. He knows when it happens but nobody else does, I talk to your Dad about it all the time." Polly had no qualms in talking to Sam about it. If he wanted to enjoy the spoils of her being a woman then he could put up with the shitty parts too. "It's part of being an adult; it's part of being married. You don't know when I am having my period, do you?"

"No."

"Like right now, do I seem any different to you?"

"No."

"Right now Lola, I have my period." Polly really wanted Lola to know this wasn't a scary thing and she wasn't going to be any different. "I am still the same Mom."

"It sounds funny."

"It's an amazing thing what the female body can do. I think it is incredible but I was a little scared at the start, I was nervous but I talked to MiMi and I soon learnt how to look after myself and I want you to know that I will always help you."

"Me?"

"One day Lola, this will happen to you too and to Mae as well. Hopefully not for a few years yet."

"I don't think I want that to happen to me?"

"I didn't either."

"But you tell me that people aren't allowed to touch me and my vagina?" Lola's mind was whirring. "How do you get it in there?"

"I know, and they can't but you can. It's your body." Polly was quite sure how to explain this to her. "I am allowed to touch my body and I have to use my hands to put the tampon in. I am the only person who does it, Dad doesn't do it, ever."

"Does Dad get a period too? How does he get ready for a baby?" Come hell or high water Polly was not getting into the sex conversation right now. She was not sure how to explain to a nine year old that all her Dad did to get ready for a baby was get an erection and get his rocks off. Men had it so fucking easy.

"No Dad doesn't get a period like I do, Girls get periods because it's the girls that have the babies. Dads don't do that."

"They are lucky."

"Oh I don't know." She ran her hands over her belly. Apart from Alfie she did love being pregnant and it was a very intense time knowing that you had this life growing inside you, completely dependant on you to survive. "It's pretty amazing having a baby grow inside you. I think Dad was a little jealous to be honest that I got to do that and all he could do is watch, but he loved watching me get bigger and bigger as you grew inside me." She touched Lola's nose. "We loved being pregnant with you. When we found out I was pregnant we were so happy."

Lola decided she knew enough and Polly left her to it, letting her know that if she had any questions she could ask, anytime. "Even Dad, you can ask him anything but I know you probably don't want to talk to him about all this and that's okay, but Dad really likes to know that you are okay. I really struggled to talk to Pops about any of this but I knew Pops would help me if I needed him to. Your Dad will always help you, with anything."

Sam tried to protest about taking Lola with him to the shops to restock when Polly informed him he was going and that Lola would love to go with him. "Why? I don't mind going by why take Lola?"

"Because she needs to know and see that you are not embarrassed by all this."

"I'll just tell her I am not."

"Sam, take Lola." He knew he wasn't getting out of it but he was never smart enough to just stop talking and accept facts. He loved stirring her up.

"What if she asks questions?"

"Then answer them. Jesus I thought you were an adult. You were very interested in my periods when you were a teenager, obsessively so, why are you such a baby about it now?"

"I was only interested because A. I didn't want to get you pregnant and B. it interrupted us having sex."

"Well I guess you won't be having sex again anytime soon if you keep carrying on like a child. I don't have sex with little boys."

Sam screwed up his nose. "You know that sounds wrong don't you?"

Sam did take her along and Alfie went with them. Mae decided to stay home, going to a supermarket wasn't much of a thrill for her and she didn't want her Mom to be lonely. Lola did ask Sam about buying the tampons on the way home. "Do you buy them for Mom a lot?"

"I do. She needs them and it is not a secret or bad or embarrassing. It's just life Lola."

"You are not going to have more babies so it can stop."

"It's not that easy Lola, I had a little operation so we can't have more babies but Mom can still have babies for a little while longer yet, that's just being a girl." He noticed Lola's strange look. "Mom is not going to have any more babies because we don't want too but her body doesn't know that."

"I can't have babies can I?"

"Not yet, not for a long time yet but one day you will."

"What you talking about?" Alfie was trying to listen but couldn't hear and felt left out. He had stared out the window for long enough and now wanted in on the conversation. He really didn't like that Lola could sit in the front now and he still had to sit in a booster seat in the back. Although he understood that it was the law and because his Pops and MiMi were cops he couldn't break the law.

"Lola and I are talking about grown up girl things."

"But you are not a girl."

"No, but I love my girls and I love talking to my girls."

Sam was glad to get home and despite not wanting to talk about it he usually did quite well. He did tell Polly they had talked in the car on the way home but they didn't talk about what was actually said until the kids were in bed. Polly was impressed that he seemed to manage without terrifying Lola when he told her that he wasn't embarrassed at all about any of what Polly had told her today.

What they did do well was a couple of nights a week they didn't even bother with the TV. They just talked to each other with a glass of wine or a drink in hand they spent some quality time together, it was nice and made up for the rest of the day when they barely got a chance to stop, three kids were relentless. "Do you ever think of getting the implant put back in for a while?"

"No, not really."

"Just to have a break from this?" Sam leant over and rubbed her belly. Polly certainly wasn't a complete bitch and didn't suffer from pre-menstrual tension to any great degree, apart from sore boobs which she certainly told Sam not to touch usually by slapping his hand. The only issue they had was when she was using the implant and the first few months after it came out, although she usually was pregnant pretty quickly afterwards so it probably wasn't strictly pre-menstrual tension but more early pregnancy hormones. She did have grumpier days though but tended to just nag Sam a little more and the kids didn't really notice anything different.

"No, this is easier to deal with than feeling like shit. I feel good and not having all those hormones floating around must be good for me surely?" Polly flipped her legs up and rested them over Sam and he was happy to have her close. He liked touching his wife.

"True. I worry about Lola's hormones though, I feel like they are preparing to mount a sneaky attack."

"She's a bit mortified." Polly chuckled. "Like she is worried it's going to hurt like when you cut yourself."

"It hurts me."

"Oh shut up." She playfully slapped his arm. "And then the realisation that a tampon goes up her hoo ha and we've told her that people can't touch her there. It's like one and one made ten in her head."

"What you tell her?"

"That she can touch herself."

"Oh for fuck's sake."

"What? She can touch herself, it's her body."

"So what's next, you show her how to masturbate."

"I sometimes worry about you. I worry I've married an idiot." Polly glared at him but it was more playful than angry. She loved his idiocy at times, it reminded her of the stupidity that her Dad often came out with when they were growing up and she loved how her Mom dealt with him. "You delivered two babies, you are constantly playing with yourself, you masturbate wild animals."

"Uhhh…. not quite."

"You know what I mean, the only way you could possibly be more involved with sex is if you were a porn star."

"Do you want to make a sextape? Or invite Lola in and let her see what goes on?"

"You are disgusting. Let's remember what happened last time we were interrupted having sex?"

"Oh that's right you tried to break my dick."

"Anyway. I guess the next issue is going to be talking about why Alfie cracks a fat in the bath sometimes and I can tell you, that is your conversation to have." Polly wasn't touching that one. He took great delight in telling her that she had to talk to both the girls about sex when they were about a week old so there was no way he wasn't getting out of talking to Alfie. Sam rolled his eyes. "And he's obviously got your genes, he's always playing with it."

"Speaking of cracking a fat." He nodded at his groin. "Want too?"

"I love how you woo me." Polly went to pull her legs away and Sam held onto them. "And you remember why you went to shops with Lola today?"

"This would be a good time to remind ourselves that we aren't embarrassed by you being closed for maintenance." He ran his hand up her inner thigh until Polly grabbed his wrist. "We've done it before."

"No."

"Fuck I hate your period, fucking bane of my life." He whined dramatically.

"You are the fucking bane of my life." Polly was having no of his shit today. "Lucky I love you most days."

"Today?"

"Today, not so much."


	16. The Crackheads are Back

**_The Crack Heads are back…with a vengeance._**

**_As your kids get older you expect some kind of maturation, I think ours are regressing. _**

**_Last night, at dinner we had to have a discussion about why we no longer talk about Penises and Vaginas at the dinner table._**

**_I should be used to this; Polly should be used to it. She grew up in a household that had these insane dinner conversations regularly. When I was seventeen I actually thought I was going to stroke out when her brother decided to talk about how I probably enjoyed a blow job… with her father being a cop I was pretty sure he wanted to shoot me._**

**_Then as an adult and father to a four-year-old who decided, at dinner with the In-laws, Polly's brother and his brand new 'come meet the family they are really nice' girlfriend to talk about how I liked to squash her mother in the nicky nude._**

**_Now I am a father to four insane crack heads and we talk about the fact that the Bug slammed her head into my nuts, wanted to kiss it better and cried because she couldn't. I mean it's wrong, so wrong and weird and disgusting to think about. But she has the mind of a two-year-old and we kiss everything and it makes it better so when she sees me weeping uncontrollably in the showering after she knackered me I get why she wants to make things better. I just don't like her way of 'making things better'._**

**_It was all downhill from there and while Polly was hyperventilating at one end of the table, the teenager was doing her best not to vomit all over herself because you know we are disgusting and talking about sex is embarrassing and she doesn't want to be here anyway and we are forcing her to interact with her family against her will. That's the kind of parents we are apparently… tyrannical. The Bug was making sure her frozen peas were being scattered from asshole to breakfast all the while the GB and TT are arguing over penises and vaginas with the odd boob thrown in._**

**_This is not in any parenting manual that I have read._**

**_And for the record I managed to say Penis and Vagina more in one final 'Dad's snatched it rant' than I have ever done. I think the count was nudging double figures._**

**_Nobody is touching anybody's penis or vagina in this house at the moment… and I mean NOBODY_**

"Dad." Mae was at him as soon as he walked through the door. "Dad, I need to ask you something." Sam was always swamped when he came home. Iris was crawling up his leg, Alfie just wanted a fist bump and Lola occasionally grunted if she was around, depending on the time of the month. Not that Sam dared mentioned that.

"What's that Monkey?" He kissed Iris's cheek and put her back down, much to her disappointment but Mae was tugging on his arm.

"At school we are going to have a sleep over in tents on the oval. It's for Dad's too. Can you come?"

"When is it?"

"Next Friday night. Please?" she begged.

"Sounds like fun. In tents you say? We don't have a tent."

"We can buy one. Please, Olivia is going, her Dad is coming and Ava is asking her Dad too. We are having a sausage sizzle and watching a movie on a big screen and then get to sleep in tents outside. Please Dad I want to go." Mae pleaded. Sam was actually enjoying stringing her along a little, it was cute and they liked to make them work for their desires.

"It's in tents, like outside and stuff?"

"I know; it will be fun. I'll be there so you won't get scared."

"Sounds good to me."

Mae's face lit up once she figured out her Dad was saying yes. "So we can go?"

"Of course we can go."

"Can we go buy a tent now?" Mae was beside herself. "I looked at the computer and I found some tents at the shops and mum said we can go shopping now and get one. We need sleeping bags too and a mattress that you blow up."

"Hold your horses. We will go shopping on the weekend." It was mid-week and Sam had barely walked through the door after three very long days. He did have three days off coming up and that was soon enough to go shopping.

"I told my teacher that you might bring an animal too."

"Mabel." It wasn't the first time one of the kids had volunteered their Dad to bring in an animal to school and they didn't want any old animal, they went big and wanted Lions, baby elephants, hyena's or leopards or whatever was the flavour of the month. Although they did realise that a giraffe would be too hard because of its long neck. The other's they didn't see a problem with and when Sam said no they tried to argue for a meerkat or two.

"I know, I was excited. I got a bit excited."

Sam flicked her ponytail. "I know."

Polly came in from outside and Mae blurted out that Dad was going camping with her. "We are buying a tent on the weekend."

"So you've heard the good news?"

"I have. Sounds like fun. I can't wait." He was going to love it, spending time with the kids individually was hard there just wasn't enough of them to go around. "Will you miss us?" Sam snaked an arm around his waist and pulled her in for a kiss.

"I'll miss Mae."

"Let's just remember it's a night away so you know what that means. Pony up Baby." Digging his fingers into her waist Polly squealed.

"That's for when you go away for work, not a daddy/daughter date."

"Pfft, so not the rules." Sam slapped her butt. "I'm going to have a shower; I've got time yeah?"

Polly nodded and followed him from the kitchen into the lounge where they were all currently watching TV. "Hey Bug, Daddy's going for a shower." Iris was scrambling off the couch in an instant.

"Cruel woman." He muttered as he waited for his little girl to catch up and held her hand up the stairs. She had shot up a bit lately and was fast changing from their cute little toddler into a little girl and they wanted to put a book on her head to stop her growing up so fast. While it was unexpected and hard work with four children Iris had been an absolute joy to have around and they all adored her.

"Dada, I do wee." He wasn't sure if he was impressed that she knew she was doing a wee or not, but the fact she peed on his foot wasn't rocking his world.

"Good girl." Gritting his teeth slightly he made sure he ran his foot under the water. Iris was taking up most of the space and the stream of water. He always froze his ass off when he showered with Iris and rarely did he get one without her particularly in the evenings.

"I wee."

"Yes you did and now you just need to wee in the toilet and then no more nappies."

"Uh huh." Sam just laughed as she squatted down and tried to get some soap out of the pump pack. He took the opportunity to actually get wet and moved closer to the water right at the time that Iris stood up quickly and he copped a head to the nuts and she had a hard head.

"Fuck. Iris." He clutched his manhood with one hand and steadied himself on the shower wall with the other as he sucked in a few deep breaths.

"Bad word Dada."

"Sorry. You hurt me."

"Whoops." She did not care which made the pain seem worse. He liked a bit of attention when he was hurting and Iris gave him nothing. His daughter had a lot to learn and peeing in the toilet was well down the list right now. "I kiss it better."

"God No, Iris. Don't" He pushed her hand away. He was in pain and she was seriously freaking him out.

"No Dada, hurt. I fix it." For all the parenting advice they ever got not one person mentioned a toddler's obsession with kissing everything to make it better didn't quite work when it came to copping stray hands, feet, knees or heads to the crown jewels, particularly while naked.

"Stop." Sam held her hand and pushed her towards the exit. "Time to get out."

"No, No, No."

Polly bolted up the stairs when she heard the commotion. Iris had a fair set on pipes on her, perhaps due to the fact that she needed to make herself heard over the crowd. She was standing outside the shower crying hysterically as Sam tried to wrap a towel around her.

"What's wrong?"

"She headbutted me in the nuts." It never went down well when Polly laughed at him and Polly laughed each and every time one of the kids got him fair and square and each other them had done it at some stage.

"I kiss it better Dada?"

"No, seriously Pol get her out of here."

"Oh, poor baby." She scooped Iris up. "Are you okay?" Sam glared at her; Polly hadn't bothered to ask about how he was. Sam was the bottom of the pecking order in this house, Polly's default position was always kids first. "Did you wash her hair?"

"What? No."

"But she's had your penis on her head. That's disgusting." Polly shuddered. Her poor little girl was having a rough time of it as she continued to sob on her Mum's shoulder.

"She came out of your vagina."

"It's not the same, don't be an idiot."

"Oh so you can suck on it and that's okay but heaven forbid she headbutts me in the nuts and now you think she's going to catch Ebola?" He growled. "How about you kiss it better then?"

Polly hissed at him to shut up. "Seriously I want to punch you in the throat some days."

The bird she flipped him as she retreated with Iris was telling enough. "I love you too." Sam called after them.

Things always spiralled out of control at an alarming rate with this mob and usually at the dinner table. Today was no exception. They were heading for a fuckening at breakneck speed. They loved to talk to their kids about the day and whatever popped into their heads but some days eating in silence had its benefits. Iris started it and if they didn't know better they would say she did it on purpose but her two-year-old brain just didn't work that way. "All better Dada?"

"Yes. Bug."

"Mummy kiss it better?" Polly was quick to shoot that down and glare at Sam when he mentioned that she'd do it later.

"What did Mum kiss better?" Alfie was intrigued.

"Nothing."

"His nuts." Iris had zero idea what she was talking about but Lola did and Mae quickly figured it out. Lola spat out the mouthful of food as she laughed uncomfortably. Mae giggled and Alfie looked a little confused, his brain was ticking over. He was a thinker. Lola and Mae often just blurted things out, Alfie was a lot more considered. All that meant was though that his contribution to the disaster was just a little delayed.

Lola actually gagged. "That's disgusting, it's revolting, I think I'm going to spew."

While they appreciated that Lola thought kissing penises was disgusting and revolting at this stage they were both a little shocked that she seemed to have any comprehension of the act. When the fuck did that happen? However they chose to ignore it. Talking to Lola about it right now would exacerbate the situation and that was the last thing they wanted.

"Thank you Iris." Polly pointed to her plate. "Eat your peas."

"Does it really hurt?" Mae could always be counted on to keep the ball rolling though.

"Yes it does."

"It's not that bad, Dad is a bit of drama queen." Polly was going to regret it as soon as she said it because Sam was having none of it. He was still smarting and his balls were throbbing. It had taken him a good twenty minutes to re-emerge from the shower once Polly had hauled a screaming Iris out of the bathroom. It had been a fairly hefty hit and she had a hard head.

"Oh, sure. Like the time Mae almost broke it. That was hilarious, such a drama queen that l ended up in hospital." As soon as it came out of his mouth he regretted it and looking at Polly he realised he had just signed his own death warrant.

"What did I break?"

"Sam." Polly wanted to throw a fork at him and she would have kicked him if she could reach him.

"Well, it wasn't actually Mae was it sweetheart? It was you."

Alfie finally got it and he came swooping in for the win. "So who broke your penis? Mum or Mae?"

"Okay, can we just stop talking?" If they weren't quite sure if Polly was over the whole discussion the use of his full name confirmed it. "Alfred, eat your dinner."

"I didn't break it." Mae was slightly offended at the thought of it.

"Mabel. Enough."

"I let Iris touch my penis." If anything was going to give Polly a stroke it was this. Her children's insanity and constant need to share that insanity with everyone over dinner would be the death of her.

"Don't do that Alfie." Sam groaned. "Please."

"It was in the bath; we were just playing."

"Alfred." Mae screeched. "That's not allowed, you don't let people touch your penis. That's the rules. You didn't touch her vagina did you?" Now Polly was starting to hyperventilate and Sam was at a loss for words knowing full well that Polly was holding him totally responsible. They had no idea what to do or say. Speaking just seemed to exacerbate the situation.

"No, that's disgusting." Lola was just rolling her eyes and saying nothing while Iris had no idea what was going on. She was busy shovelling peas into her mouth at a rate of knots. "I didn't touch Iris."

"Me?" She piped up hearing her name.

"Yes Iris, don't touch Alfie's penis, that's bad. Only Alfie is allowed to touch his penis, you can touch your vagina but nobody else." They weren't sure whether to appreciate Mae's effort at teaching her little sister about her body and the rules or not. "Only Mummy and Daddy are allowed to touch each other because they are married." They were starting to lean towards the 'not'

"Josh, at school said his Daddy calls it a cock." Alfie was on a roll. "I told him it's not a cock, that's a boy chicken, it's a penis."

"Okay, thank you Alfie." Polly sighed. "Can we talk about something else?"

Alfie was happy to talk about something else, they just wished it had been about trains, the weather, hell the would have even had a discussion about politics, but no, Alfie had other ideas. "What about Boobs?"

"No." Mae spat at him. "We don't talk about Boobs either."

"Iris used to suck on mom's boobies. Not any more though. Iris has little boobies."

"No, don't talk about Bug's boobies, that's not allowed, it's disgusting." Mae waggled her finger at her brother, she had well and truly taken over the Hall Monitor role from Lola who just sat back and watched the nightmare unfold and said nothing. It was fun to watch her parents spin out and Mae and Alfie cop all the heat.

"Mummy's boobies." Iris clapped, she didn't say a lot but she always managed to get her timing just right. She clapped her hands, very proud of her effort. Iris was her own biggest cheer squad.

"Okay." Polly actually looked like she was about to pass out as Sam found his voice and went on a rant. "That's enough. I've heard enough. Alfred please don't let Iris touch you, you need to tell her No. Everyone needs to stop touching other people, no more touching penises or vaginas. No more talking about Penises or Vaginas. At the dinner table from now on we don't talk about Penises or Vaginas. Okay? Or boobs, let's not talk about boobs either or touch boobs." Polly looked like she was about to say something and Sam held up his hand and pointed his fork at his wife. "Don't say a word."

"So does that mean Mum can't touch your penis either?" Mae knew precisely what she was doing and Sam was pissed. Polly just shook her head. It was insane but watching Sam spiral was a little bit amusing and she was looking forward to his rant later on.

"Mabel.." Alfie was a little horrified. "Mum doesn't touch Dad's penis."

"Yes she does, how do you think they have all these babies." She waved her hand around the table.

"Well they don't have babies anymore, so there is no more touching. Dad said so."

Mae opened her mouth to speak and Sam silenced her with a look. He looked at Alfie too and he clammed up. "Okay we are done. Are we done?" They both nodded.

"Right, now. Mae, have you decided what colour tent we are getting?"

"Well, they don't have pink." Sam breathed a sigh of relief; he did not want to sleep in a pink tent. The change in conversation was also appreciated. "So I think blue, or red. Red I think, I like red." Mae looked thoughtful. "Blue, maybe blue. What do you think?"

"Red or Blue, I don't mind."

"If you get blue then I can sleep in it too."

"Alfred. Just because you are a boy doesn't mean you can only sleep in a blue tent." Attitude just oozed from Mae. Calling her brother Alfred pissed Alfie off no end. "It doesn't matter what colour it is."

"Don't call me that."

"Or green." Mae completely ignored him. "Then we can hide from the wild animals because we will look like grass."

"There are no wild animals at school Mabel." Alfie was just as annoying as his sister. "That's stupid."

"Well then when we get to sleep at the zoo there are wild animals there and we won't get trampled." She knew she sounded silly but couldn't help herself but Alfie was being a pain and he always seemed to be able to push her buttons. Lola laughed which annoyed Mae even more. "What would you know, you just are all grumpy and nasty now anyway."

"Shut up Mabel."

"Right. How about we finish dinner in silence? If we can't talk nicely to each other then we don't talk at all." Sam had reached the end of his tether and the kids knew it. No one dared say a word, not even Polly. When Sam was done, he was done and they knew he needed to be left alone and eventually he would get over it.

Iris didn't get the memo though and she looked most displeased as her peas scattered over the table and onto the floor. Polly finally had her stroke when Iris's cute little voice broke the silence.

"Oh fuck."


	17. Kim & Adam - Celebrate

_**Just a little chapter I found to 'celebrate' the fact that the writers actually let Burgess & Ruzek work together, showing everyone what real chemistry between two actors/characters looks like. Now all we need is that other mess to be over & these two can start to work on repairing the years of damage the writers have done & get Burzek back on track.**_

"Lola asleep?" Adam rolled his head backwards as he heard Kim come downstairs.

"She is."

"She okay?" It had been a rough evening. Lola had got upset when she overheard Kim talking to Polly. She'd called to check in on Lola and see how she was coping. Polly was missing her and still felt guilty about not being there for her when she was hurt, as a mother there was probably nothing that could make you feel worse than not being there for your child when they were hurt. Kim understood, she was there for Polly when she needed her the most and while she felt helpless at least she was there.

Polly and Sam had spent the afternoon with the baby once she was back from her tests. Polly was able to feed her a few times, although she still got tired quickly and Sam would cuddle her and comfort her when he could. They'd had a few visitors and Sam had decided to stay and have dinner with Polly. Lola had her grandparents to keep her company, he didn't want Polly to be alone just yet, she was in pain, she was desperately sad about the baby not being able to stay with them and devastated that Lola was suffering at home without them. She urged Sam to go home but he argued that it was okay to say that she needed him too, and that he needed to be with her for now. He promised that Lola would sleep in his bed tonight just to be close to her. "I'll make it up to her I promise, right now I need to be with you."

Kim stopped on the bottom step when she thought she heard Lola call out but it was all quiet. "I think so, she cried herself to sleep. I ended up climbing into bed with her. Those drugs took a while to kick in."

"I hate that she's drugged." He held out his hand and Kim held onto it until she curled up next to him on the couch. "I know Sam isn't happy about it."

She tucked her feet up under her and rested her head on Adam's shoulder. "I know, but her arm is hurting. I just want her to sleep."

"Ugly afternoon?"

"Very, but there is one good thing?"

"We have a new baby." Kim slipped one arm over his stomach.

"We have a new granddaughter." That bought a smile to his face. She was beautiful, tiny and pure perfection. Sam had sent them some photos a little while ago and they had fallen in love with her even more. In one of the photos she had her eyes open as she lay on Polly's chest and she looked calm and Polly looked happy. "You know, when Lola was born…."

"Stop."

"…Darlin' come on. We should celebrate. GD2 is a day old and we haven't even congratulated each other."

"For what?"

"I need to congratulate you on still being the hottest grandmother on the fucking planet." Adam crept his fingers under her shirt so that he could tickle her skin. "I love you Darlin'."

"A very mutual feeling but we are not having sex on the couch."

"Oh come on."

"If we were home I'd be more than happy to let you feel me up but we are looking after Lola."

"She's not going to wake up."

"Sam will be home soon." Kim did let his hand continue to wander. "So just hold your horses."

"I'd like you to hold my horse."

"I bet you would." Kim reached for her phone as it beeped and Adam groaned as she pushed his hand away. "Sam's on his way home."

Kim fussed over him when he got home, making sure he'd eaten and Adam and Sam shared a whiskey after he'd been up and sat with Lola for a while. She was sleeping but Sam sat by her bed and stroked her sweet little face and kissed her softly. He was going to take her into bed with him because he knew Lola would love it and he wanted to be close to her if she woke and needed him.

"To you beautiful little girl." Adam held up his glass. "And to her mother."

"Thank you for everything, taking care of Polly and Lola I really appreciate it. We both do." Sam took a mouthful of his drink and let the burn fade on his tongue and settle in his gut. "Thank you for Polly." He added quietly, he was emotional and that made Kim tear up and Adam swallowed hard. "She is my everything."

"And you are her everything. You and those little girls."

"Do you mind if I go to bed, I've had about four hours sleep in the past two days. I'm going to take Lola into my bed so don't worry about her." Adam and Kim were staying the night, they didn't know how late Sam was going to be or what time he would leave in the morning. If Polly called him at any stage Sam would want to leave right away. The baby was stable, she was doing well and they had no real concerns about her at the moment but she was still premature and in the NICU and until they had her home with them it was going to be up in the air with everything else and they hadn't really thought much beyond today.

After a quick shower Sam gently lifted Lola out of her bed, being careful not to wake her or hurt her arm. She settled quickly with Sam's hand on her belly and Sam was asleep within minutes.

Kim fussed about downstairs and tidied up quickly while Adam constantly tried to grab hold of her. As soon as they closed the door on the spare room he had his arms around her waist and was kissing her neck. "Now we celebrate."

She spun around in his arms and snaked her own arms up around his neck and Adam effortlessly lifted her up and carried her towards the bed. Setting her down gently he pulled her shirt over her head before Kim pushed his t-shirt up and he helped her by pulling it over his head while Kim ran her hands over his stomach.

"You are pretty hot for a grandfather, you know that?" Kim sat up straight and pulling his hips towards her she peppered his abdomen with kisses.

"Those girls are lucky; I mean they have us for Grandparents."

"You are full of yourself." Kim chuckled as he pushed her back on the bed.

"I'd like you to be full of me."

They both cringed and then laughed and then celebrated in true Ruzek style.


	18. ANGUS - Can't Stop

To say that Gus was reluctant to go to work would have been an understatement. It was wet out, a wet wild windy afternoon. They'd spent the morning taking it easy, the last few days had been a whirlwind of preparation and parties. Alfie had turned one and his train themed birthday bash had been tiring, he loved trains at the moment and was always clutching one. That boy was all about moving, he never stopped and Sam complained that even when he was asleep he was on the go and would thrash about like a fish out of water if they were unfortunate enough to have him in bed with them.

"You wait." Sam grumbled. "You think this is funny now, we've had six years where I swear I could count on one hand the nights we've slept right through." Sure it was an exaggeration but Sam was prone to that and he liked teasing Gus about what awaited him.

In between that they had a baby shower which yielded more stuff than they knew what to do with and Rhiannon had finally finished washing all the clothes they had been given along with the blankets, sheets and literally every thing in the house. Nesting they called it, well their house was well and truly a 'nest' now.

"What's the plan for the rest of the day? Putting your feet up?" Gus was ironing his shirt, as always at the last minute before he had to rush out the door. He had once made a comment about the creases not being in the right spot when Rhiannon had ironed his shirt and it was the last time she had done it.

"I hope so. Polly is coming over, Sam is working late, some talk he is giving so she's bringing the kids and an early dinner."

"Make Pol do all the work?"

"She's got three kids to look after." Rhiannon felt restless, she needed to do something and if Gus wasn't home then having Polly and the kids over would be have to do.

"Pfft, she's used to it. You look tired."

"I am tired, I am tired of lugging this bloody thing around all day." Rhiannon rubbed her large belly. They were down to the last few days of her pregnancy so any day now they were hoping for some action but so far the Doctor was non-committal. The baby was showing no signs of budging and everyone was impatient.

Gus bent down and kissed her belly, whispering quietly. "Come out come out whoever you are."

"Go to work and I will talk to you soon. Like ten times before you get home." Rhiannon pushed him out the door. Gus fussed over her incessantly but as frustrating as it was some days she never once thought that she wasn't loved. Not only by Gus but his whole family had embraced her and together with her Dad and stepmom she was actually starting to believe she could do this. She could be a good Mom to her baby.

Polly did fuss over her when she arrived. Lola was also good at being a mother hen, Mae just wanted to see her belly and Alfie ran amok. While Mae couldn't be bothered walking until she was almost 15 months old Alfie decided that in order to terrorise his sisters he had to learn how to walk and days after his first birthday he was off and running. It was nice for Rhiannon to have the company though. Sitting at home alone waiting for her baby had gotten old and she hated being home alone right now.

She had asked Polly recently what it was like and how she knew she was in labour. "Well out of three of them I only really had Lola normally. Mae was such a shock, Alfie was weird because we knew the exact day and when they induce you it goes from nothing to a hundred so quickly. I did read that it was more painful because your body isn't ready to give up the baby yet and I'd have to agree. It was way worse. Lola was the only one I actually went into labour naturally."

All her births were so different, it was hard to compare but looking back they 'enjoyed' Lola's the most, if that's what you could call it. It was frightening and exciting at the same time. Mae's was terrifying and Alfie, well they just wanted the pregnancy to be over. "I'd had a shitty nights sleep, my back ached but I thought it was just because I was hauling around this enormous baby and we had no idea what to expect. Sam was convinced I was in labour, some shit about watching his animals behaviour change when they were about to give birth and picking up on it. Can't say I was impressed about being compared to an animal but that's Sam." Polly shrugged. "Anyway, he was right and all up I was in labour for about twenty hours. We stayed home as long as we could and Sam was very patient while I was freaking out."

"Gus is so anxious. He's worried that he won't be able to cope with the birth, Sam's very graphic storytelling has him on edge."

Polly rolled her eyes. She had told Sam time and again not to tell Gus all the gory details but he took great delight in it. "Sam's a pain in the ass. Gus'll come through. Mom says Dad was amazing, despite being a worrywart and getting very alpha male during Gus's birth because he was early and the midwife was a bitch and Sam delivered both Lola and Alfie, which I thought, was weird when he first suggested it but his bond with them is incredible. Mae missed out on that but Sam made it up to her and I think he's even more precious with her."

"Sam is so wonderful with them. Gus really looks up to him, he wants to be a mix of his Dad and Sam."

"We'll make sure he is. You have one lucky bub in there. He has you and Gus as his parents."

"He?"

"Today I've decided it's a boy. Alfie needs someone to share all that testosterone with, might chill him out a bit."

Rhiannon pushed away her plate; she had lost her appetite suddenly. Polly was too busy wrangling Alfie to notice. He had made a mess as per usual and she took him up to the bath along with the girls. When she came back down Rhiannon was pacing around the lounge room and seemed a million miles away. Her heart started beating a little quicker; she knew what this meant. Sam loved telling people how he could see Polly was in labour with Lola because of her behaviour, it was subtle but he was right and Polly had that feeling about Rhiannon right now. "You okay?"

"I think I might be in labour."

She almost dropped Alfie on the floor as she dashed across the room. "What's happening?"

"Just contractions I think, more than usual, it doesn't feel like those Braxton hicks things and they are about every fifteen minutes."

"Okay." Polly rested her hands on Rhiannon's, which she had on her hips as she rocked slightly and Polly felt them shaking. "Have your water's broken?"

"No. I don't think so."

"Have you called Gus?"

"Not yet. Do you think I should?" Rhiannon sucked in a deep breath as another contraction suddenly came on. It hadn't been long since the last one but she didn't tell Polly that. Part of her didn't want this; all her fears about being like her mother had risen to the surface over the last few days. While the baby was still inside her she could dream about being a good mother, once they were here reality would kick in and she actually had to be that mother. "I don't want to worry him if I am not."

"I don't think he'll mind Sweetheart." Polly couldn't blame her from being scared, she'd done it three times and each time was terrifying in it's own way and right now her heart was racing.

"I think maybe I will have a shower first."

"Do you want me to call Gus?"

"Not yet, let me have a shower. I feel unclean, like I need to wash something off. Is that weird?"

"I've learnt that nothing is weird in times like this."

While Rhiannon was in the shower Polly organised her tribe. She set Lola and Mae up in front of the TV and they'd be happy enough there for now. Alfie was going to do whatever he wanted but he had enough toys and blocks and his sisters to annoy so she was hoping he'd be fine. She asked Lola to watch him while she raced upstairs to check on Rhiannon.

Knocking on the bathroom door she asked Rhiannon if she was okay, she had been in there a while and it was too quiet, the water had stopped running. "Polly." She cried a little desperately.

"What's wrong?"

"Polly I think the baby is coming."

"What the fuck?" not even bothering to ask if she could come in Polly opened the door and Rhiannon was leaning over the vanity, stark naked with one hand clutching her stomach and trying to breathe. "What do you mean?" Polly grabbed a robe and threw it over her just in case one of her tribe suddenly appeared; they had that tendency. Turning up at the most inopportune times was a Hollister kid trait, one they often wished they didn't possess.

"Umm….my contractions are like five minutes apart all of a sudden, if that." She gasped a little when another contraction started to intensify. Not only had they got closer together but they also had gone from mildly annoying to quite intense in a surprisingly short space of time.

"Holy crap." Polly helped her through to the bedroom and got her to sit on the bed while she breathed through her contraction and Polly scrambled for some clothes for her to wear, settling on a jersey dress that she pulled over her head and a cardigan when she started to shiver once the contraction eased off. "Okay. Let's get you in the car and we will call Gus on the way." She grabbed her bag and helped her down the stairs. A million thoughts were crashing through her head and she was desperately trying to organise them.

She yelled at Lola to turn the TV off and get ready to go but when she came back in they hadn't moved. "Lola, move." she barked at her again to turn the TV off and get in the car. "Now."

"What's up Mommy?" Lola finally looked at her Mom as she grabbed Alfie.

"We need to go now Lola, get in the car. We need to take Rhiannon to the hospital right now." She grabbed Mae's hand and literally dragged her out to the car. Rhiannon was breathing through another contraction as she buckled them in.

As soon as she pulled out of the driveway she called Gus and it went through to voicemail. "Ah Gus, you need to call me now. Like right now, Rhiannon is in labour, I am taking her to Med." She did think of calling 911 and asking them to radio Gus but Rhiannon grabbed her arm and squeezed it hard as she groaned.

Polly didn't remember much about her pre-natal classes but she did remember Sam annoying the crap out of her telling her to breath "If you feel like pushing you need to pant between contractions."

"This is intense."

"You are doing so well, just keep breathing."

Lola had been quiet so far, trying to figure out what was going on. Eventually she was dying to know and piped up. "Are you okay Rhiannon? Are you having a baby now?"

"I hope not Lola Bear." Rhiannon forced herself to laugh especially when Lola declared that it would be 'wicked'.

Mae's quiet little voice came next. "I want a sister."

"Mabel. It's not our baby, silly." Lola admonished her in her over dramatic and condescending way. "It's our cousin." Polly was pretty sure she was rolling her eyes and even Rhiannon managed to smile, although it was half smile, half grimace.

Poly slammed on the brakes as they hit traffic. The wet weather had created havoc. Why the fuck couldn't people drive when it was wet, it all went to shit? Rhiannon just about hit the roof as another contraction started, less than two minutes since the last just as Gus rang.

"What's going on Pol? Is Rhiannon okay? Where are you? We are on our way to Med."

"Gus, we are coming, the fucking traffic is shit." She told him where they were right now and Gus decided to come to them.

"You are swearing Mommy." Lola was doing such a good job of being a nag. She constantly pulled them up for using bad words, Sam called her their hall monitor and he was spot on. Right now though Polly didn't need it.

"Shut up Charlotte." Polly snapped and Lola huffed loudly. She folded her arms across her chest and pouted.

"Lola's crying." Mae wasn't being particularly helpful.

"Shut up Mabel." It was all going to shit in the back seat and the front seat wasn't much chop either. Rhiannon was progressing way quicker than Polly hoped and the panic was starting to set in for both of them.

"Angus." Rhiannon cried desperately, she grabbed Polly's phone and switched to a video call. "I can't stop this."

Rhiannon was relieved to see him, even if it was just over the phone. "Darlin' are you okay?" Gus was panicking and they could hear the sirens blaring as his partner navigated Chicago traffic; he didn't seem to be having the same issues as Polly but then lights and sirens had that magical effect, people got out of your way. Nobody was getting out of Polly's way no matter how many times she honked her horn.

"No, I don't know. I can't stop it." Polly's knew precisely what Rhiannon was feeling; she had wanted to stop Mae's birth until Sam arrived. "I don't want to do this without you."

"Hang on Darlin'" Polly loved how Gus called her Darlin' it was what their Dad always called their Mom. Sam called her honey, baby or sweetheart, but rarely darlin' and initially Polly wished he would but Sam had his own thing, Darlin' was a 'Ruzek' thing apparently.

Suddenly Rhiannon dropped the phone and Gus panicked, while he couldn't see anything his call was still routed through the stereo. "What's happening?"

"I think my water just broke. I need to push; I can feel it." She had an enormous amount of pressure between her legs and putting her hand down she could feel it bulging out.

Polly made the decision to pull up on the footpath and she leapt out and reefed open Rhiannon's door. The light wasn't the greatest but after looking under Rhiannon's dress she could see the top of a baby's head. "You are crowning."

Lola climbed out of her seat and into the front and grabbed a towel and wiped Rhiannon's face. She was actually quite calm and very gentle with Rhiannon despite the fact that Rhiannon was screaming. Mae started crying and Alfie just lost it. All Gus could hear was screaming; Rhiannon's, Mae's, Alfie's and the voice of god knows how many strangers. "Polly what the fuck is going on?"

"Ah, Gus the baby is coming right now." She asked a bystander to hold her phone and tell Gus where they were; someone else was calling an ambulance so she could focus on Rhiannon. An elderly lady had climbed into the back seat and was trying to placate Mae and Alfie and Polly didn't have the time to worry about them.

It was chaos. Rhiannon was in the throes of childbirth, which was never pretty and there was so much noise around them and people but Polly was grateful for their help when it started to rain lightly and suddenly umbrella's appeared to cover them. Polly was trying to stay calm, Gus was freaking out on the phone and this baby was coming and nothing was stopping it.

Someone held up a phone and 911 talked Polly through the final few minutes. They could hear the ambulance coming and Gus was only minutes away but this baby didn't care and Polly eased her brother's baby out into the world. "Take a look sweetheart." She told Rhiannon to look at the screaming newborn. If her experience with Mae meant anything she knew that Gus deserved to find out about his baby from his wife. Sam often told her how much he appreciated that, that Polly had wanted to be the one to tell him about his baby before anyone else knew.

"What the hell is going on Polly?" Gus screamed at her, it was just a lot of noise and screaming and crying, including the startling wail of a newborn baby.


	19. A Clean Bill of Health

**_Whoops, sorry I forgot to finish posting these chapters. I got distracted by something else. Anyway for those that are interested & a brief recap...Gus's Baby arrived in the front seat of a car on the side of the road with Polly's kids screaming in the backseat._**

"Gus, it's a girl." Rhiannon sobbed. "It's a girl and she's crying and she's beautiful."

"Oh my god."

"Congratulations Gus, you are a Daddy." Polly cried as she handed Rhiannon her baby. Someone had appeared with a towel and a blanket and they covered Rhiannon and the baby to keep them warm and dry. "Hurry up, she wants to meet you." The baby was screaming as Rhiannon cradled her to her chest so she was obviously thriving and the paramedics were happy to leave the new mom with her baby, they had plenty of other things to do. They got Rhiannon out of the car and onto a trolley just as Gus's patrol car came to a screaming halt and he was out before it had even stopped.

The paramedic's loaded her into the back of the ambulance out of the rain and Gus climbed in after her and was on his knees beside Rhiannon and the baby. "That's our baby?" reaching out he touched her hand gently, he had tears streaming down his face and he didn't care who saw them. "I can't believe it."

"It is; she's ours. Look what we did."

"Oh god, she's beautiful, like you. You are amazing." He kissed Rhiannon and the baby's soft head as she snuggled into her mother's chest. "I love you so much."

"I'm sorry I couldn't wait."

"I don't care, you are okay, our daughter is here. This is amazing." Gus literally was in shock. He'd gone to work a few hours ago desperate to meet his baby who seemed to be reluctant to come out and now he was a father. He had a daughter and it seemed surreal. They encouraged Rhiannon to try and feed the baby straight away, it would be good for her after such a hasty birth, it often helped calm the baby down as she was not particularly enjoying her new surroundings. It was noisy, cold, wet and they were surrounded by a throng of people. Some helping, some just gawking but Rhiannon and Gus didn't notice any of that; all they saw was their daughter.

Lola was beside herself. She was ecstatic it was a girl; she had wanted a girl from the start because Alfie was a 'pain.' and boys were 'not fun.' When Rhiannon told Gus it was a girl she had squealed with delight, Mae had finally stopped crying and got caught up in Lola's excitement and Alfie had his pacifier now and was trying to decide if he was happy or not.

Polly was shaking and the paramedics got her to sit on the back of the ambulance for a few minutes to steady herself. Lola was holding her hand and telling her that it was going to be okay and she could hear Mae and Alfie start up again. They were freaking out and she couldn't blame them, they were surrounded by strangers and had just been in the middle of absolute chaos. Gus's partner was now in their car talking to Mae and Alfie in the vain hope that a Policeman would calm her, she was used to cops but she was too far gone.

Polly could hear them and asked Lola to go ask them to get Mae out. She dashed into her Mom's waiting arms, tears streaming down her little face. "It's okay Monkey, mommy's got you."

"I want to go home."

"We will."

Gus jumped out of the back of the ambulance and found Polly. "Is Mae okay?" His partner had also bought Alfie over to his Mom and he was fascinated by all the lights flashing around them.

"She is. How's Rhiannon? How's the baby?"

"They are good." He hugged his sister. "Thank you Polly. Come see them."

He scooped Alfie out of his partner's arms and held Lola's hand as they headed over to the back of the ambulance and Rhiannon pulled back the blanket covering her and showed off their baby.

Polly wiped away a few tears. "She's beautiful. Congratulations. I'm so happy for you both."

Gus just looked in awe. "Her name is Vivienne. Vivienne Louise Ruzek."

Polly hugged her brother. "Angus, I am so happy for you. It's a beautiful name, she's beautiful, it almost makes me want another one."

"Yep, I am not sure Sam would be happy to hear that." He helped Polly get the kids back in the car and jumped in the back of the ambulance with Rhiannon so they could go get checked out at Med.

Gus waited until Rhiannon and Vivienne had been given a clean bill of health before he got to hold his daughter for the first time. It was an overwhelming moment for him; he didn't know he could feel so happy and so scared at the same time. It was like when he first held Lola but a hundred times more powerful. It took his breath away.

Rhiannon was still clutching her daughter to her chest as they took her up to Obstetrics. He was a little horrified that sitting on the bed, wrapped in a towel and shoved into a bowl was the placenta. Apparently they needed to 'inspect' it to make sure it was intact. Up until recently he never thought about what happened after the birth.

They were met at the admit desk by a midwife who took a second look at Gus in uniform. They hadn't been told this case needed a police escort, it happened all too frequently unfortunately. "I heard you've had an eventful night?" She lifted the blanket slightly and took a look at the newborn. "She looks good."

"She's beautiful, she's had a couple of goes at feeding already. Is that okay?"

"Excellent. You are doing well Mom." She patted Rhiannon's shoulder. "Let's get you to a room and perhaps clean you up a bit." She looked at Gus. "I assume you are not here for her protection?"

"It's my daughter, so yes."

"You do the honours?" They showed them into their room. It was always a bit of a thrill for the staff when they get these types of births; they loved the shock and disbelief of the parents. Giving birth for the first time was a shock in itself, throw in a dramatic birth half way to hospital and it was going to take a lot longer for that buzz to wear off.

"No, my sister did."

"Okay. Mom, you want to let Dad have a cuddle while we get you settled and I need to take a quick look at what's going with you. Is that okay?"

Gus's hands were shaking as Rhiannon handed him his daughter for the first time. It wasn't the first time he'd held a baby, he'd held all three of Polly and Sam's but when it was your own baby it was a whole new kettle of fish. "That looks good on you."

"She's so little."

Dad's holding their babies for the first time was such a beautiful moment. "We will weigh her in a couple of minutes." While Rhiannon hadn't let her go they had done some vitals on her and she was doing well. "She looks a good size though."

"Hello darlin', you've got no idea how nervous I am right now? I love you little girl." Gus dipped his head and kissed his daughter's dark hair. "I can't believe I am your Daddy, you are too perfect for me."

"She is just the right amount of perfect for you Angus." Rhiannon was watching them. "That is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." She waved her hand in his direction.

"We did good. I think we've nailed this one."

"Well despite her very rapid entrance into the world Mom is looking great." The Midwife made some notes. "Now I am just going to call the Paediatrician and let's check out your bundle of joy and then we will leave you two alone to get to know your little angel."

When the Paediatrician came in Gus watched closely as he examined his daughter, who was not the least bit impressed. "At least her lungs are good." The Paed chuckled. "Listen to those pipes." He rested a hand lightly on her bare chest. "Hey hey little lady. It's okay. You'll be back with Mom and Dad in just a minute. They want to know you are as good as you look."

She was weighed and measured, poked and prodded and then wrapped up tightly and handed back to Dad. "Congratulations. Vivienne gets my full tick of approval, all 7lbs 5ozs of her. Well done Mom."

"Is it okay that I fed her?"

"Of course, best thing for her. Feed as often as she wants it, that will help your milk come in quicker. Even if she only hangs on for a few minutes, it's all she needs right now." He smiled at both of them. "Well that and lots of love and cuddles. I'll call back in the morning and see how Vivienne is coping with her new life. She'll be sleepy tonight so I suggest you make the most of it."

They were left alone with their baby for the first time. Gus bought her over to the bed and handed her back to her mother. "My two favourite girls."

"It's pretty incredible isn't it?"

"What a night? You know.." Gus was playing with Vivienne's hand, which she had worked her way out of her blanket. "..I really had no idea what I'd feel when the baby came. I thought I had a bit of an idea, but this has just blown me away. It's just incredible. God I love her."

"So do I and I love you."

"Yes, well that goes without saying. Actually I love you more than ever." Gus rested a hand on her cheek and leant in for a kiss. "I love you so much. Thank you for Vivienne. She's beautiful like you."

They decided to check her out while she was still awake and Rhiannon lay her down on the bed and unwrapped her. They fell in love with her skinny little legs as they jerked around, her arms, which she had no control over and her ten beautiful fingers as she spread them out reaching and grasping at the fresh air. Her skin was buttery soft beneath her parent's fingertips. Gus ran a finger over her tiny ears and they were perfect. She was perfect.

Gus took some photos and a video of her having her diaper changed. It was just overwhelming how much she had changed their lives in the two hours she had been here. Suddenly it was all about Vivienne, this tiny little piece of heaven.

While Rhiannon got up and showered Gus cuddled his daughter. He asked if he could put her on his chest. He remembered Sam telling him about how amazing it felt having your newborn baby against your skin. It was also good for the baby apparently and helped them adjust to life outside the womb and was better for their long-term health. He wanted to give Vivienne the best of everything.

Feeling his daughter's soft buttery skin on his was mind blowing. He could feel her breathing, her whole body rising and falling under his hand. He stroked her fingers and he got it, he got why his Dad was like he was with Polly and he understood why Sam was so protective of his girls. Gus even wondered how he was still standing after the incident with Lola and his ex because right now if anyone hurt this precious little girl currently sleeping on his chest he'd probably kill them.

"You feel better?" He dragged his eyes away from his daughter when the bathroom door opened.

"I do. It's nice to feel cleanish."

"Ish?"

"Well, there is stuff leaking from everywhere." Gus looked a little horrified. "Lucky I am on a high otherwise I'd be disgusted."

Rhiannon closed her eyes. Her girl was safe in her Daddy's very protective arms and she felt a wave of tiredness sweep over her and Gus told her to grab a nap. She wanted to hear him when he called his parents but she was asleep before he dialled the number.

He called his Mom.

"Hey Mom."

"Gus, what's up? Aren't you at work?" They always knew when Gus was working; Kim couldn't help herself. She wanted to know when he was on shift so she would know if she had to worry or not. More than thirty years and not a day had gone by that she didn't worry about her two children.

"I was, but… "

"Rhiannon's had the baby hasn't she?"

"She has." Kim squealed down the phone and Gus chuckled. "Rhiannon gave birth to our baby girl in Polly's car on the side of the road in the rain about two hours ago. We are safely at Med now."

"Oh my god Gus, are they okay?"

"They are good, they are great, she's so beautiful Mom." Gus actually cried on the phone. "Her name is Vivienne Louise Ruzek and she's amazing, I am a little shocked to be honest."

"Oh Angus, that's wonderful, I am so happy for you both. What happened?"

"She went into labour at home and it all happened in a rush. Polly was there for dinner and suddenly things got intense and Polly was driving her to the hospital when Rhiannon's water's broke and then they couldn't stop it so she pulled over and helped deliver the baby. I just missed it, but it's okay because they are both fine and she's here and we are in love with her already."

"Oh sweetie, what a dramatic entrance. Vivienne is a beautiful name. Kiss her for me, and Rhiannon."

"Can you tell Dad? I will send you some photos."

"I will, go love your baby Angus. I'm so proud of you. I love you Angus."

"Love you too Mom."

Once Rhiannon had fed her again they put her in the cot beside the bed and both tried to get some sleep. It was easier said than done. Vivienne was noisy, grunting and groaning, squirming and letting out the odd cry. She was all over the shop, so she'd sleep for an hour then wake up, feed and then sleep for three. It was surreal being woken up by a hungry baby and they loved every minute of it.

Gus woke first when a midwife crept into the room to check on the baby. Rhiannon was asleep still and Vivienne had fed about an hour ago. "Good Morning Dad. Good night?"

"I think so, she fed about an hour ago. She's noisy though."

"It's surprising how something so little can make so much noise." The midwife lay her hand on Vivienne and felt her breathing.

"Best sound in the world."

"How's Mom?"

"She's got a few hours sleep."

"Good." She grabbed her chart. They had to write down how often she fed and for how long and also wet and dirty diapers. "From the looks of all this you've got a little superstar on your hands. I wish all my babies were this obedient." The midwife left them alone, she'd come back and see Rhiannon when she was awake and they also wanted to watch Vivienne feed. It was important to make sure she was attaching properly to prevent Rhiannon suffering. Breast Feeding, while completely normal wasn't easy and establishing good feeding practices from the start would give her the best chance of succeeding.

Gus closed his eyes again but it felt like barely a minute before Vivienne started squirming and let out a startled cry. He leapt of the bed and picked up his newborn daughter. "Hey Good Morning sweetheart."

He changed her diaper while Rhiannon hobbled to the bathroom; she was feeling pretty sore today, the after effects of giving birth were completely unpleasant and she certainly let Gus know what she thought of it all. "I guess it's lucky the cause of it all is so spectacular." He had her ready for a feed when she got back. Luckily Polly had made him change her kids diapers from the time they were born. If he wanted the fun times, he had to deal with the shit too. It was a whole new experience when it was your own daughter though. This tiny, warm, totally helpless human being was his human, his and Rhiannon's and they had to protect her, nurture her and love her unconditionally and that was a little overwhelming.

"Well Vivienne, I've gotta warn you." He wrapped her up and lifted her gently. "Today, it's a big day. The crazy starts today. You get to meet the family. Brace yourself


	20. Amazing

Adam was finally on his way home. It had been a long assed day and he felt tired. He was probably getting too old for raids, but they gave him a buzz so it was a trade-off. He'd be sore for days but taking that child labour ring down had been worth it. The interviews had gone on way too long and in the end he threw them in the cell and let them stew overnight.

"Hey…." He stopped on a dime. "What's the occasion? Or are you just happy to see me?"

Kim had a bottle of whiskey and one glass but she hadn't poured herself a drink and Adam knew what that meant. She was waiting for him and she leapt off the couch when he came in. "I am happy to see you." It wasn't a lie, every single day of their life together Kim was always happy when he walked through the door in one piece.

"Obviously." Her kiss was a very pleasant thing to come home too. Usually Kim didn't sit and drink when she was alone and he'd only just missed dinner so he was hoping it was a celebration and not because she was pissed with him.

"And I thought we needed to celebrate."

"What precisely are we celebrating? You didn't buy a new house without telling me?"

"No."

"Or buy a dog, or a cat or something?"

"No." Kim just smiled at him. "It's about Vivienne."

"Who's Vivienne?"

"Our new granddaughter."

"Are you serious? Why didn't you call me? When?"

"Calm down, come and sit with me." She headed back to the couch, tugging on his arm and handed poured them a glass of whiskey to share when he plonked himself down beside her. It was something between them, one glass of whiskey passed back and forth, it was an amazingly romantic and deeply personal tradition they shared.

"About two hours ago apparently and it was all a little bit dramatic. Vivienne Louise Ruzek was born on the side of the road, in Polly's car. Gus missed the birth but they are both healthy and happy and getting checked out in hospital now." She reached for her phone and showed him the photos of Vivienne that Gus had sent through. "She's beautiful. I just wanted to see your face when I told you." Kim rested her hand on his cheek and he leant into it and smiled as she ran her thumb over his stubble.

"Wow."

"Yep, Gus called me a little while ago. Polly was having dinner with Rhiannon and the kids; Sam was at work and she went into labour and progressed far quicker than they thought. Polly was driving her to the hospital and she had to pull over, the traffic was mayhem because of the weather so she delivered her on the front seat."

"It could only happen to our kids couldn't it?"

"Don't you think that's amazing; we did such a good job with those two and they are so close I think it's amazing that Polly was there and did that for Angus?" Adam was not all surprised when Kim cried; he pulled her closer and kissed her passionately. He always thought she was a beautiful mother.

"I do." Adam swallowed the last of the whiskey and leant forward and put the glass on the table. "You want another drink or you want to climb into my lap and give me the proper 'we are grandparents again' celebration."

"Adam baby, I've been waiting for you." Kim did straddle him. "You get hotter with every grandbaby."

"I told you you should have been hot Nan, it's not too late to change your mind." Adam kissed her neck as Kim wiggled down tighter against him. "because fuck Kim you've got me hard already."

"I know baby, I can feel it." Kim jumped off, stripped down and helped Adam out of his jeans before climbing back on and they wasted no time in rocking each other's world. And then they poured themselves another drink, wrapped themselves in each other and Kim filled Adam in on all the details.

"Polly was so emotional when I talked to her, she was so overwhelmed by it all. She had the kids in the car with them. Lola was all up in the business in the front seat telling Rhiannon to push while apparently Mae and Alfie were losing 'their shit' in the back seat." Kim added the air quotes that she knew Polly would have done. "Some random woman climbed in the back and tried to calm them down. People stopped and helped, held umbrella's over Polly and stopped Rhiannon getting wet and it was all over in a couple of minutes. That must have been some sight."

"I know, imagine all that going on. The noise…" he cringed a little. "…and the car? Yuck."

"I can't wait to meet her." Kim grabbed her phone when it rang and it was Gus. "Hey Sweetie. How are you? Dad's here." She put it on speaker phone.

"Turn the video call on. I want you to meet Vivienne."

When she did Vivienne was cradled in Gus's arms. "Oh Angus, she's beautiful." Kim gasped and she was glad Adam was with her. "Sweetie she's perfection. How's Rhiannon?"

"She's good Mom, they both are. She weighed 7lbs 5ozs and is doing everything she is supposed to be doing. Rhiannon is feeding her and they are both amazing."

"Hey Bud, congratulations. Mom and I are so happy for you both and can't wait to meet her, but next time try for something a little less dramatic."

"Polly said the same thing, the Doctor even suggested that Rhiannon come in the moment she gets the first inkling of a contraction next time."

"Umm Gus, let me get over this one first." Rhiannon, who had been holding the camera came and sat next to Gus and loved how happy Kim and Adam looked. Her Dad had been a little teary as Vivienne was his first grandchild and she knew Gus's parents would love her instantly too. "We can't wait for you to meet her; we think you'll love her."

"Oh sweetie, we already do."

Gus could see them all snuggled up and his Dad was holding a glass of whiskey, although they did have clothes on fortunately. "You've done the typical Ruzek celebration haven't you?" Gus rolled his eyes.

"It was a suitable celebration, yes." Adam laughed while Kim blushed a little. "Vivienne deserved it." There was another suitable celebration after they finished talking to Gus and Rhiannon and not surprisingly Kim was up early, she wanted to go to the shops to buy Vivienne some presents before they met her.

It had been a long day and while Sam generally loved giving presentations, tonight it was cold and he felt like he had been on his feet since before dawn and he wanted to be at home with his feet up being feted by his girls. Lately they had taken to pampering him when he got home, the little girls at least. His big girl wasn't pumping up his tires any time soon. "Hey Baby, I'm just on my way home. I am so bloody tired." Sam always called Polly when he was leaving work. "How was the night? How are the kids?" As crazy as evenings were with the three of them Sam still loved spending that time with them.

"The girls are in bed finally, although Lola is still awake, I can hear her singing. It's a very cute song she's made up. Mae crashed, she needed lots of cuddles because she was quite emotional and Alfie was just being Alfie. They had a drama filled night."

"Who did what to whom?" Lately drama usually involved Alfie being a shit and Lola cracking it with him, she didn't do tired well. The last time they really had a night to remember it was when Lola ended up with appendicitis. Before they knew she was sick Lola had been an obstinate misery guts and everything Alfie did pissed her off and they careened merrily from one mishap to the next.

"Ha, funny. This wasn't their fault."

"Who else could it be? They are walking talking drama queens, well two queens and a prince at least."

"Lola was a treasure, Mae and Alfie were carrying on like pork chops but I was too busy to notice."

"Boyfriend?"

"Not tonight he was busy, although I have to tell you I am feeling a little clucky."

"No." Even if Sam hadn't been snipped he was adamant from before Alfie was even born that they would not have any more children, that last pregnancy was the final nail in the coffin. The closer she got to weaning Alfie completely the more she realised that this was her last chance to feed a baby and she was struggling to let him go and Sam had notice the odd comment about a baby creeping into Polly's conversations. It didn't help that she was all up in Rhiannon's pregnancy. If Polly wanted more children she'd need to divorce him first.

"I delivered a baby."

"Huh?"

"Rhiannon and Gus have a baby girl. Rhiannon gave birth in our car on the side of the road, it was all a bit of a rush."

"What the hell Polly, what are you talking about?"

"Two hours ago I was catching a baby. She's beautiful Sam, her name is Vivienne and she's perfect. Rhiannon did really well and they are both happy and healthy." Even two hours later the adrenaline was still coursing through Polly's veins, she couldn't believe what happened. "By the way, we need to get the car detailed."

"Or we could get a new car. That's just nasty."

"Sam it was amazing."

"It is hey?"

"It got my heart racing that's for sure. Anyway they are at the hospital now and I am just feeding Alfie and he's off to bed. Lola really wants to see you and tell you the news." Polly had struggled to get Lola and Mae to calm down. Lola was buzzing but Mae was just a little off, it had been too much for her, all those strange people, the screaming and the lights had freaked her out. Alfie had settled and fallen asleep in the car on the way home so Polly woke him up to feed him after Mae had finally drifted off to sleep after a lot of cuddles with her Mom.

"Pretty amazing hey?"

"It was."

"How's Gus?"

"Freaked out. He missed it by about five minutes. I felt sorry for him." Polly was watching Alfie while she talked to Sam, he was dozing off again and hopefully she would get him into bed without waking him. It wasn't his usual night time routine and he was a creature of habit.

"That sucks."

"It does but Gus is okay with it at the moment I think. He's just besotted with Vivienne and glad that they are both okay. He's on cloud nine."

"A girl huh?" Sam chuckled a little sadistically. "Oh the fun I am going to have."

"You are going to stir him up aren't you?"

"Yep."

While Mae was asleep and Alfie went down without protest as soon as Lola heard the garage door open she was up and bouncing up and down on the stairs waiting for her Daddy. "Daddy, Rhiannon had a baby in the car. It's a girl. I helped."

"Wow." He happily accepted his jumping jack of a daughter in his arms. "That's a much more exciting night than I had. Is she pretty?"

"She is a bit yucky looking; she needs a bath but she's so cute. Mommy was crying too."

"You were a bit yucky too and look how pretty you are now. What's her name?" Sam knew all this but Lola's excitement was infectious and he wasn't going to dim her sparkle. If only she showed this much joy when talking about her sister and brother.

She looked at her mom; she hadn't quite got the hang of the baby's name yet. "Vivienne."

Lola repeated her name. "Vivienne. It's pretty."

Sam took her up to bed and it took him forever to get her to sleep, she was just talking a million miles an hour and it was all about the baby. Once she was finally asleep he jumped in the shower and he was delighted when Polly joined him. "Is this a celebration?"

"Yes." Polly slipped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his chest. The warm water and Sam's arms were heaven.

"Big day for you baby. How are you?"

Polly leant back and looked up at him. "I'm good, it was pretty intense but nothing I could do about it. That baby was in a rush and now I am on a high. It was amazing Sam."

"And how did Rhiannon go?"

"She did so well, completely spun out but they were really happy with her, I made sure they let Rhiannon and Gus hold her first, I know how much you loved that and I wanted them to have that moment too, especially since Gus wasn't there. Gus called once they had checked them both out and they are both really healthy and happy." Polly reached for some soap, squirting some in her hand she started washing Sam and he let her go. "He's having that 'holy fuck' moment we had with Lola but he's just on cloud nine."

"As are you." Sam just loved the look on Polly's face, she was alive and if the kids were buzzing so was Polly. The kiss that he got told him in no uncertain terms that he was also about to get very, very happy. Polly stunned him a little with her ferocity and it was a wild ride for both of them.

Polly sat cross-legged on the bed facing Sam; he looked so relaxed as he stretched out with one arm hooked behind his head. Sam used his other hand to draw circles on Polly's bare thigh as she started from the start. "She told me she thought she was in labour but wanted to take a shower before she called Gus. They were about twenty minutes apart and you know I thought it would take a while. When I went up to check on her she was in the bathroom and telling me that her contractions were like five minutes apart so I got her in the car and then the kids but by the time we got five minutes up the road she was telling me she needed to push. The traffic was shitty so I had to pull over and got an ambulance to meet us and Gus was on his way. Mae and Alfie were screaming but Lola was precious. She climbed into the front seat and used a towel to wipe Rhiannon's face and kept telling her to push."

"That escalated quickly."

"I know right? I had no idea what I was looking at, it was dark when I got out and I was parked on the footpath, anyway she was crowning already. We had Gus on a video call and I had the paramedics on the other phone and these people pulled over to help, holding up their phones for light and some umbrellas to keep use dry. This lovely lady was trying to talk to Mae and Alfie to stop them crying because they were losing their shit, it was crazy and suddenly there was this little girl in my hands. Sam it was incredible. I can see why you loved it."

"I loved it because they were my babies and it was you."

"You are so sweet and adorable." She leant forward and kissed him softly. "I love that you did that for them."

"I did it for all of us."

"I was sad that Gus missed it, like I know you missed Mae but I hate that he missed his first baby." She wiped away a little tear and Sam squeezed her hand and pulled her down so that she was lying on top of him. It was her favourite spot and Sam never got sick of having Polly on top of him, fully dressed or naked he didn't care. He just loved being close to his woman.

"It took me a long time to come to terms with that, but I did because at the end of the day we had a beautiful little girl and look at her now, Mae is so deep in my heart I kind of forget that I wasn't there to see her take her first breath, because I get to see her breathe and grow every single day." He twirled her hair around his fingers. "And I get to see you love her every day and that Polly, means the world to me."

"I love you so much Sam."

He beckoned her to bring her face closer so he could kiss her. "You are my hero." Sam spent the next few minutes showing her how much he was loving her right now. "Um, baby. About the clucky thing?"

"Oh Sam, don't worry about it. I don't want another baby." She cocked her head to the side and giggled. "Well I do, but only if I can steal someone else's, like Vivienne. I have zero interest in being pregnant again, ever."

"I know you are struggling to stop feeding Alfie."

"He just seems to love it so much, especially at night. I like that few minutes I get with him before he goes to sleep and then again in the morning." Polly only fed him morning and night. it was unlikely that he was getting much from her but the bond between them was beautiful. "I know at some point he'll not want to have anything to do with his Mom and I can at least look back on this time. You don't mind?"

"What? No, I love watching you two together. I just want to make sure you are okay."

"I am okay Sam."

"I think my babies have the most amazing Mom. They are lucky little bugs."

"Do you want to get lucky?" Polly started kissing his chest, working her way up to his neck and Sam was happy to tilt his head to the side and let Polly go, his hands weren't idle though and they never struggled to get their freak on.

"Having sex with you never fails to amaze me." Sam flipped Polly over and pressed her down into the mattress. "I could lose myself in you for hours." It may not have been hours but the next half hour left them both breathless and a little sweaty.

Sam whined that 'having kids sucked' when Polly left bed and came back with her PJ's on. He missed those nights when they could lie naked in each other's arms in a post-coital haze. "We need to have a night away from them and soon." The weekend they spent in New York when Polly fell pregnant with Alfie was the last time they had been away from all three of them together. The girls had the odd night on a sleepover with the grandparents but Alfie was always still with them.

"I'd like that." They were barely asleep when Mae's hysterical scream sent Sam scrambling. He shot out of bed, it was incredible how it could take forever to haul yourself out of bed in the morning but a screaming or vomiting child could make you move like a bolt of lightning.

"Holy crap." He gasped when he found Mae sitting bolt upright in bed. She barely looked awake but she was inconsolable.

She screamed even louder when Sam spoke to her. Alfie had woken and was whimpering in his room so Polly was sorting him out and when she got back to bed Mae was literally sleeping on top of Sam. "Is she okay?"

"Don't know what that was about. She wasn't even awake and now I can't move." Eventually Sam moved her off to the side but she burrowed into him and stayed there for the rest of the night.

Gus was having a similar reaction. Vivienne's desperate wail in the middle of the night made him sit up suddenly. He didn't shoot out of bed at quite the same rate of knots because for a brief moment he had no fucking idea what the noise was. Then he remembered.

He was a Dad now. His life would never be the same.


End file.
